KamiBug Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Long story short, 4 months ago me and my partner of a year and a half broke up. He seemed to get over me almost immediately. We've been in contact since the split which probably isn't helping me being able to get over him, but no matter how much I try and no matter how many times he calls me cancer or poison or tells me all of my flaws, I can't stop seeing his perfection and loving him even more. Part of me thinks that I'm still in denial that we ever broke up in the first place. I'll catch myself out sometimes when I'm thinking about him, and have to tell myself that, for crying out loud, you're not even together anymore. Just as he has no responsibility for me, I should have none for him. But I still find myself talking to him and about him with great fondness. He was my first love and it feels like he will be my only love. We lived together for a while after the breakup, because I had work and he was finishing university. During this period it was like we were still dating. We slept in the same bed every night despite having separate rooms, went out for meals, we cuddled and kissed and often one thing would lead to another. He's gone now, and I'm stuck in this big house all on my own. We still talk online and text every day. I with I could go without contact but there's something very comforting about talking to him, even if it's an argument. My heart is hurting and I just want it to stop now. I have no one to talk about it to in real life as I live far away from my family and have no friends outside of my workplace, and I don't feel as though it would be very professional for me to bring up the fact that I'm horribly depressed to my colleagues. Someone please tell me how I can try and pull myself together and move away from that point of my life. I can't go without contact which is probably my biggest downfall, but I desperately want to be okay again. Sorry for the long post. It was longer but I wrote it during an emotional outburst, so I've tried to cut it down to be more... logical... kind of...
WordvAction Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 For the love of God please stop talking to him. You find him comforting because it's the only lifestyle you know even if it means you being unhappy. You're going to be miserable for the rest of your life until you stop talking to him. Don't BS anyone here by saying you can't go without contact; you can, you're just afraid to. Also, if you need someone to speak with, ask a fellow co-worker to lunch or see a PsycholOgist. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I was in the same boat as you once and tough love is the only way to get through
esteem-jam Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 There will come a time when he will find a GF. You still want to talk to him then? Hear how loving he is to her? Or he wont talk about her at all, by decision. Then you will spiral in your imagination what and how he does with her. I doubt you want that.
The Tallest One Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 KamiBug, sweety, you have to go NC asap! Trust me! I agree that yopu don't want to be around when he finds someone else! I tried to remain friends with my last gf, but it just prolongs the pain! It's never easy no matter how old you are (I'm 42) but there is someone better out there for you! Make friends with co-workers, do anything to get out of the house! Stay busy as possible! Take care!
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