schao1 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 (edited) Let me start off with some background information. So my girlfriend (she is 22 years old and I'm 23) of 2 years just broke up with me about 2 days ago. It was a very peaceful breakup I would say. Of course I tried to keep her from leaving me but didn't resort to anything bad and stayed respectful. She broke up with me because she said she needed time to improve on herself and she feels like she's hurting me when she doesn't give me the attention I deserve. She didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and that was it. The whole time she kept telling me she still cares and loves me so much and I'm the best guy she's ever been with so far. I specifically asked her if she still loves me because I wanted her to say no and gain closure but she didn't. During the breakup, she kept crying and wouldn't stop. I felt terrible seeing her cry like that even though she was the one breaking up with me. The next day, I sent her a text telling her to be strong like I'm trying to be and I didn't want her to cry anymore. I also said that I'm not angry at her and won't talk down about her to anyone and that my arms always open for her if things change. She responded saying that I'm so great and feels she doesn't deserve my kindness. I didn't respond after that because I decided to start the no contact period to stabilize myself. The breakup still has me confused because there were no signs of our relationship getting worse. The last time I saw her about 2 days ago, we had a great time and she was so happy too. I know for sure she wasn't pretending to be happy either. Recently she has been getting extremely busy with many other activities but I was okay with that and we could just see each other less (instead of everyday) since she had more things to do. We never got into huge fights before, if there was a problem we would talk about it calmly. I don't have ANY bad memories from my relationship with her at all. So that's the history between us. I'm just here to find out if I have any chance of getting her back. I feel very confident that it isn't the end and I think that's how I'm handling this breakup so much better than I thought I would too. I'm also curious how I should approach her after about a month's time if she doesn't contact me. Should I be straightforward or go about it slowly. Or am I still in denial? I really hope I'm not. I do have her family's support too, her mom seems to genuinely care about me and she said that I'm like a son to her after I told her about our breakup. She also hopes for the best. The reason I know she said I'm the best guy she's ever met is because her best friend told me. Her best friend also came over later on and tried to comfort me too. Edited July 22, 2012 by schao1
Boynextdoor Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) @schao1: I hear you man! You remind me of myself. I had the same idea as well I had this in mind that "I will contact her after a month and such and such." I would say that your case is quite similar with mine. Its just that my break up with my ex was : 3 months ago,we had an argument that was so small that resulted to our break up. Her mom was really supportive of me/somewhat vouching for me all through out considers me as her son already thru words and action (how sweet could that be?), including her friends/best friend, and I think everybody. However, continuous contact with the outside parties will make her hate you more and push you further. Eventhough you have the most genuine intentions because SHE WILL NOT SEE IT. You have to commit that you're not gonna end up needy,clingy etc. Because that will be the next step that you'll end up doing when thing doesn't turn out well with the support of her mom,bestfriend,friend/s are giving you.(believe me i've been there. I never thought negatively of her despite of her leaving me. Never resented her in any way though it hurts. Well that is because I love her dearly. She went angel like to extremely below zero cold type.) SO DONT! Nothing you could do now to change anything. All you have to do is to brace yourself and prepare for the future. By the time she comes back like contacting you and stuff you'll feel a lot better compared to the earlier stage of the break up. By then you'd know what to do. They say that a genuine comeback is when she tells you the words: (The I want you back. lets do it again stuff) etc. A total 180 degrees from what have happened between the two of you. Edited July 25, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Response to deleted post
Author schao1 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 Thanks for the advice, I actually have only contacted her mother once since the breakup and that was to thank her for being there for me since I don't really have a mother myself. Her friends I hang out with, I only do just that. I avoid asking about her at all costs and removed my facebook too to help with the healing. My views have changed a bit since the last few days. I still feel strongly about getting her back but I'm no longer confused about why the breakup happened. She said it wasn't anything I did but I realize it was a lot of small things that I did. She became the center of my life. At one point she told me to "live life" more and I just didn't understand it completely at that time. It took a breakup for me to realize I changed myself too much from when she first met me. I didn't take charge of anything, always deffered to her opinions, even in bed I asked her what she wanted, and she soon became my source of happiness. Eventually she felt obligated to be with me and when she was out doing other things, she felt bad that she COULD be spending time with me when she wasn't. I know what I need to do, go back to the way I was before I started dating her and hope for the best when I'm emotionally ready to contact her again. And why won't she change her relationship status...lol. I only noticed it when I just deleted my facebook.
Boynextdoor Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Thanks for the advice, I actually have only contacted her mother once since the breakup and that was to thank her for being there for me since I don't really have a mother myself. Her friends I hang out with, I only do just that. I avoid asking about her at all costs and removed my facebook too to help with the healing. My views have changed a bit since the last few days. I still feel strongly about getting her back but I'm no longer confused about why the breakup happened. She said it wasn't anything I did but I realize it was a lot of small things that I did. She became the center of my life. At one point she told me to "live life" more and I just didn't understand it completely at that time. It took a breakup for me to realize I changed myself too much from when she first met me. I didn't take charge of anything, always deffered to her opinions, even in bed I asked her what she wanted, and she soon became my source of happiness. Eventually she felt obligated to be with me and when she was out doing other things, she felt bad that she COULD be spending time with me when she wasn't. I know what I need to do, go back to the way I was before I started dating her and hope for the best when I'm emotionally ready to contact her again. And why won't she change her relationship status...lol. I only noticed it when I just deleted my facebook. Ahhh. As to me I do lotsa things with the mom. haha! Anyway, you did the right thing man. You have to compose yourself and just grow. In my opinion I always feared the idea of change. Because I like my package. However, there are certain scenarios in life that will make a big difference. That will force you to change. Im not saying to change for the worst or be different. I would say to change for the better is the key or to say it best "To progress" Put it to fate man!
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