Ruby65 Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 why do ex's stay in touch then? * because it feels good to be in communication with someone who wants to be with them * to keep you on the back burner as a Plan B in case they don't meet someone they like better * because they just got rejected by someone else and they want to feel desirable again * because they feel guilty for treating you so badly and want you to reassure them that you still think they're a "good person"
Author Dblock10 Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 So is there anyway to stay in touch but to make them know they cant walk all over you? what if you cant really be there "friend" but dont want to not have any communication :/ those points are pretty good though. are people that selfish!
Sameold Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 DBlock dude come on! /slap you in the face You say how you are sign with it but then you say you are going to "ride it out". There is nothing to ride out here! You have no bond with that girl and you are old news now. You're a guy that she knows likes her and she will stay in touch as it is easy for her too. It isn't about being immature. It's about self-esteem and respect for yourself and your own feelings and mental health. You don't want to be her friend and yet you want to stay in touch??? Come on! What are people who stay in touch generally classed as? That's right, friends. I really don't know what you are hoping but it sounds like you are planning just to sit tight and one day hope she wants you back which is the worst thing possible to do. In many ways if an ex stays in touch it is because she doesn't feel painor emotion about contacting you. You split on okay terms. You are a guy she ****ed in another country...she isn't waiting for you. You should not be "riding it out". Ok, answer this honestly. What do you want from this girl? If the answer is for her to be your girlfriend and back in your life then you need to be a man and tell her. If you already know the answer to that question and yet are not prepared to move on then you will just be stuck. If staying fb friends keeps you feeling like you're in her life you are 100% wrong. You have to be a strong man but instead you are failing to draw the line even after over a year. Draw the line and end the madness!
Author Dblock10 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 yeah i mean by in-action nothing is going to change so its ok i don't want to regret a decision i had to live with regret the first time. or i could be someone she still likes and likes to keep in touch. yeah i understand that, it is about putting your self first, and i need to think of me now. selfish as it is, i need to think about me. its not that i don't want to be her friend, its that i cant be a true friend, not if i haven't totally moved on and then she goes and gets a bf or something, you understand that. it would be like the first time, not wanting to ask if shes hooked up with anyone whilst away but not wanting to go cold turkey. until i then did go cold turkey and thats when she came back and started initiating all the contact i guess part of me that doesn't want to move on does hope that she would want to be with me one day sure. what do i want from this girl, well i want her to be happy, i don't want her to be with anyone else permanently, i want her to want to be with me, i already know the answer, although ive not explicitly cried out for her ive told her in person my feelings and she would know.. i know telling her now would be repeating everything and make things worse. she has told me she was happy to see me but for her it didn't make her want to be back together. She has told me she is happy being single and isnt looking for a relationship right now and even if she was she is on the other side of the world, so i guess that is telling me there is no hope. without fb i wouldnt be in her life. period. i realise this is actually madness.
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