crash9i77 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 This is a statement regarding my recent ex girlfriend Desi, I met Desi in April of 2011, She was very charismatic, beautiful, fun, and she seemed to know exactly what to say to me. its obvious she uses sex and acts to get people to feel sorry for her most of the time to get attention, but I was like many fools you will here about in this. When I first met her, she first told me she never had cheated, then she admitted she had once with a previous Boyfriend named Matt with a doctor who himself was married as well, they were a bulgarian couple and his wife was in Bulgaria at the time/times they had sex,and they had other encounters i think while she was with her husband. he bought her the same phone she uses now and he worked with her in a rest home. I was worried, but looked past it as everyone deserved a chance at redemption. She was married yet separated at this time, and was preparing for a divorce, her husband met her online when she lived in bulgaria, and within months she was married and living here in washington. she was with him for 3 and a half or so years before she left him. he was abusive, controlling, and not very nice to her, she met a person at her work named Killa, a male nurse, and she cheated on her husband with him. she wanted separation after that (as far as I have been told) shortly after that she was with Matt for 3-6 months, then she cheated on Matt with me. whats important to know is that i fell in love with her, without even knowing what she looked like. she even told me that she was missing teeth lol I was ok with it. When she was young she was hurt badly by a muslim boyfriend she was hospitalized, and then she had a boyfriend for two years that cheated on her many times and it hurt her baddly, and I think this is another source to her swings and cheating, then she cheated on him back and forth. she said that he told her that is how it works, and how it has to be. It did not last much longer. That is just a taste of her background. We had a wildfire of a romance for 17 months,learned a lot,it was very exciting, very sexual, very comfortable, it was good. we were best friends and amazing lovers. even past the honeymoon stage of endorphins and we were both very loving to each others needs and patient. She was very needy at first, then I started to notice a large anger problem and mood swings that came out of nowhere, i still remember for no reason she asked are you cheating on me? She started yelling over messed up garlic bread she was trying to make i love to cook, and we were cooking, saying she couldnt do anything right, said i was so perfect at everything, then apologised saying im sorry you had to see me like that. (she blows up like that a lot) i never once provoked her in fact i was always keeping her happy and safe, she would flip out, then always treating me like i was on a pedestal like nothing happened asking me can you handle my craziness am i too weird for you?, strangley i was lol I was always able to handle her mood swings very good and patiently. she would try to and sometimes would get me to to see things her way, a form of manipulation. Around the time of her AS graduation of nursing from renton technical college in may or june of 2011, I was excited and proud of her graduating. We were happy in love, and one night she told me she was meeting her husband to talk about the divorce (it might have been another man), the next day she started being quiet, unresponsive, and told me she still had feelings for him and was not done with him. i immediately went to her house to get my stuff, and she told me not to make conclusions like that. asked me not to go away (cried and acted sad and confused). History about him is that besides the abuse, he made her feel guilty all the time for him for their daughter, he even started to always manipulate/tell their 3 year old that i am a bad man, don't play with sam, sam is mean and the poor little girl would repeat it, saying daddy said this, daddy said that. It made Desi mad. I did nothing but care and love her and her whole family. and I never did anything but help her, give her space for school and her child, including only seeing her 5-6 or less hours per week. and the little girl loves me still to this day. He was always being rude to desi, making her feel obligated to be with him it was so strange how obidient she was to him and believed every word out of his mouth. So I didn't leave her and we talked, and she explained a few things. She said that the safety kit i bought her for her new car was from me, her ipod accessory stuff was from me for her b day and a nice pair of jeans from me to her husband which she said made him cry. The day of her graduation came, I bought her flowers, and was ready to see her walk. She told me to not show up, after I already pulled in, I did not see her text. I met with her family and sat down, and she started sending me texts telling me to leave.. right now..what are you doing here? I was stunned, I did not know why she wanted me gone after all i was hers and she loved me, i gave the flowers to her daughter and left. we broke up shortly after. I think it has to do with either Kila (I will get to him in a moment), or her husband, i still don't know what happened with that. I think there was someone there and she did not want us to cross paths or see my love for her or I his. I have not been to any of her big days, or any christmas. We met sometime maybe a week after that (graduation) when she lived in Des moines Wa. and talked, i was confused why she would do a complete 180 after just being happy and loving me hours prior and soon after our talk we had passionate sex in my car, the whole time before and after the sex, she was super nervous she was going to be seen or something looking left and right, she even walked there from her townhouse so her car would not move and said she only had 30 mins, she would almost hide. I Think after the meeting she had with her husband weeks before, she got back with him and cheated on me, but still wanted me to stay with her. and she sent him off to get something when meeting me that day so she would not be seen i have never seen her so jumpy and sneaky like that, playing and using both of us and she was worried he would see her with me. But we had sex in my car powerful sex, and after that.. we had sex at a hotel or apartment 2-3 times per week for before we got back together again always powerful. always keeping it secret.her mood fluxuates extreme highs, and lows.she said and always have said that no man has been so good, she would say how good of a person i am ect. and how she loved no one more, and no man has given her better sex. she uses men for a boost of excitement, the honeymoon experience, then finds another man when the time is right, and leaves. not just for that though, for whatever she thinks a man is worth. for me it was sex, being taken care of, money, and security. She would get in one of her low mood swings, and get excitement from a new man to re energize her. but always come back to me, or blame it on... too many gaps with, she would litteraly find anything she could as an excuse to be free. once it was over that i forgot to pay a bill lol she made me feel horrible for forgetting to pay my powerbill. I lived in 2 places and forgot to change my address. im actualy a pretty wealthy person, good looking, former soldier, MMA fighter, and a Design engineer, honest, Brains and brawns, masculin and a good, generous kind heart She had another big night in september 2011 i think and decided I would not come to her pinning graduation. She would send me pics of how she looked, sexy.. and I was not allowed to come. Later she admitted she had sex that night with her husband, but i also found out that Killa was there as well so It might have been him. she said baby Im sorry and i felt sick to my stomach after, I love you and only you and no one does me the way you do, i feel so good with you. (same sadnness and convincing face/tone) She told me one night, that she wanted to hang out with killa maybe oct 2011 and for me to meet him, then changed her mind and said that she did not want me to join them (this is a guy she said she slept with while with her husband) When she told me she wanted to hang out with her friend Kila, I was worried, she told me I had nothing to worry about, stop being paranoid its all in your head.. I decided to trust her and sure enough, after i had bought a dozen plastic boxes and helped her move to her new place i came to her place to get the boxes the next morning and her car was not there. it took awhile, and her making me feel guilty for days for even thinking she would do it, but she admitted she cheated. I forgave her after she begged me to not let her go (same sadness and tone, tears). And then she failed her NCLEX for nursing, I was sad, and offered her my arms and comfort. she was sad.. i told her i just wanted to comfort her, she said she didnt want anyone to see her like that. eventually she told me that night kila was there and they had sex the back of his car, she came home to the suprise flowers i bought her to make her smile feel better. she told me she had to see kila and that she didnt want me to go, and yelled at me saying that i didnt know how to make a woman respect me, I said I dont play games, she said she would have sex with him and that i have to accept it, i didn't want to, but knowing her I did not leave her side and eventually she got mad at him and only wanted me. She said that every relationship, every good man she has had has ended because of him. And its because he used her. she would tell me things to make me feel good about "US" and she has never had a man so understanding. The next time is when she abruptly ended us right before christmas out of nowhere. I was so confused and believed It was Killa or her husband again. Then around newyear 2011 came the saddness and big dramatic love us speach with tears. Since then she has gone through my phone, contacted females i know but dont talk to via phone and email, and for awhile, she did something crazy, she made a number on her ipod text free app, sent me an unknown number text and pretended to be a girl named vivian actualy invented a whole personality and convinced me that she was an old friend from europe to get information from me and tell me how im wrong for not being ok with desi cheating and desi is always right ect and that my friends dont know me as well as desi so i should only listen to Desi, she would ask me if im with other girls, and even test me to see if i would be with her???? I am a very dedicated man, and have not once cheated on anyone. i talked to vivian for months, and the worst is that she as vivian she would yell at me and insult me making me feel guilty for not liking desi cheating, or call me stupid for forgetting to pay my bill, and all kinds of other things when i would stick up for myself. I was open with any woman that contacted me. I even bloccked a few for disrespectiong Desi by telling me to basicly RUN!! Because I loved and protected her and they were worried for me. She in life always will flip out back and forth..sad, depressed, then be happy. she has always been happy with me 90% of the time except when under stress or being influenced by another guy or letting her feelings get out of control. she gets influenced by people bad though when under heavy stress and just looks for excuses to be impulsive and cheat. We started having threesomes and foursomes double penetration even with other men, it was exciting and she loved it. the entire 17 months her husband was constantly making her feel bad, and not accepting the divorce making more stress she just wanted to be done (or so i think). I once said hi to him, being nice on a holiday, extended my hand to shake his and he just looked at me i have always been nice to him and spoke good about him to his daughter. We went to a gathering with her family, he showed up and said to her, shame on you, your a married woman. (about me) He left without even playing with their daughter. I have been very very good to her and her family, daughter, and she has never had such an open and understanding boyfriend/man. we rarely fought. always amazing sex. she had it all. one night she said that one thing she misses about her husband was that he would secretly do honorable things, i asked if there were secret, how do u know. she said that he just told her lol. she was in the hospital and i stayed by her side all night long, she misses her daughter so i bought several frames and printed pics off for them. the next day on my break i stopped by to check on her and her husband was there. she has sworn to me that she knows he is bad, hurts her, and will never get back with him, and that she loves only me, and wants a life with me. all the trust and space i gave to her, all the good things i did for her, after all the lies and cheats, threesomes, and foursomes which i was ok with still she sayed i love you, then mins later told me i had to go and to hurry up, she really had to study.. she started going to UW and working extra, we only had 5 hours maybe a few more per week to be together. I was fine with the limited time. I was happy as long as she was taken care of. she swore to me she was thankful everyday for me in her life, she has always told me how great a lover i am ( one night i had sex with her 8 times in a row) told me how she has never had a man protect her and make her feel safe like me, screamed she loved me. and one night july 8th 2012 (our last night of being together and sex) I heard her call her husband, and her mood was changed, she kept getting texts from him pics of their daughter he kept saying i messed up, and well she does this thing when she starts looking for reasons not to be with someone or to be with someone.One reason to leave someone and one to be with someone lol, this time it was about a car, she asked if i like it, i said no it looks kind of like a car a kid would drive, she then said whatever its nice. (VW GOLF) I said it was nice just not what I like. she sent me off to get her a drink and i saw her texting someone, ( She did this before shortly after the kila thing, she snuck to a bathroom to text someone and didn't want me to see) we had sex that sunday night july 8th 2012 and during she kept telling me how she loved it, loved me. 2 strong orgasms.. and in the morning, she got up looked like she was not happy, and she got a text at 745 in the am.. I saw her smile.. And then...I knew, she said her friend from work was in a bad car wreck and she saw her at harbor view so i figured it was that, later that day i visited her after work and she smiled, kissed me, told me she loved me.. then outside, she said can i be honest? I don't want to be with you anymore, I know i love you, i feel most comfortable with you, and i know i love you, but the pieces don't fit (i have heard this manytimes), i dont know what i want, and i also have feelings for Vladimir and I dont know if that is because of his having Maria and the texts from him (their daughter) right now.. I talked to her, she hugged me told me she loved me, we kissed.. she said im not seeing anyone else, and i'm not with vladimir or am going to be I know he was bad to me and he will be again so dont be paranoid. I was calm and respectful, i told her i loved her and smiled said i would leave, she said don't be so dramatic. which i wasn't lol. She said she was so drained from work and school also.amd now a week after, she might be with Vladimir her husband. and stopped talking to me, and lies. she most likely had him believe she was considering them again the whole time not knowing i was back in her life, or they have been together. playing both of us. I even think it might be a new friend from school she got curious about I even took her and her daughter out for a manicure and massage after a long week on her feet many times i did things like this to ease her stress, when i spent the night with her at her place the last few times 2 months or so, she made me sleep on the floor in the living room while she slept with her daughter in her bed ( i understood this) but before i slept with both of them together. She said her husband never did anything nice like the things i did that for her, or bought her anything. He says one thing and she believes it though. She said that with me helping her and getting her nice gifts, i was trying to make her feel guilty making me feel bad. then she said that is what her vladimir says. I have never made her feel bad once. she told me sometimes she likes to have at least two men around. one for security and the other as backup. And she has lied to me several times, and cheated on every man i know of her ever being with. I have recently seen her smoke pot with kids just 15 feet away, and she drinks a lot. I think she is bi polar, I care about her, but there is nothing i can do. there are several beautiful women wanting what she had. I had so much patience, care, kindness and understanding. She will always cheat and lie to get a boost of self esteem and the endorphin rush of something new. she wanted a baby multiple times, a new one. the first time was after the first time we ended it and we met in secret in Des Moines wa. had sex, and she told me she wanted it with her husband, she changed her mind. and 2 months ago, wanted one with me. she even got off her depo shots. Then changed her mind on our last night July 8th. She is very convincing to her feelings for a man to manipulate him, and No matter what, she will manipulate a man to get what she wants until she finds another, all the while she will have another guy on the side.For no reason she has yelled at me and ripped my shirt, hit me.. and then the next day wanting me to meet her telling me she loves me. she texts multiple men all the time and hides it. we ended it July-9th 2012 finnaly, What is bad is my brother is losing his leg and his kidneys are failing due to diabetes in a hospital this week, this all happened on that same monday and although i have been there for her always, she is not here for me now and with another. She was my best friend, and Lover. Its just sad. I have turned down many beautiful women who made advances to me for her. If she is with someone, her husband, She has another man on the side. SHE CHEATED ON HER HUSBAND, OTHER BOYFRIENDS, AND ME at least 4 times that I know of for sure. She has lied to me countless times and to others as well. I don't think even the killa guy knew about me. or that we were together. Or if there is a new guy mpw, he wont know. last week same 180.. I love you, cant live without you, then bamm!! I don't want you. Its not right to lie, or to not have consideration for someone who has been so good to u, your child, and family. No man has the patience for this, or will be able to understand her ups and downs, she paints a picture in front of others so people wont see who she truly is. I worried about her and cared about what she needed. even her friends said they were impressed by me and how good i took care of her. Once, she said she had surgery at work from a cyst on her leg, she was afraid to call her husband at night to get a ride home. she said he would have yelled at her and made her feel guilty for bringing their baby to get her. she was in pain but she drove home anyway. I was always there for her. through her troubles with Kila and vladimir, to being a friend and lover. She had another cyst and I picked her up from work to help her, we talked and we had sex in the car in seattle. We only had sex once or twice per week the last 4 months. it was not about sex for me. we just didn't see each other often. we shot pool and just talked mostly. On new years 2011 she came over drunk said she hated me, but loved me and we had sex, she didn't come till about 4 in the am. She although convincingly loving has a very violent side to her, and decieptful, the latest story i heard was when her friend Heather said that desis brother had to escort me out of a bar or something. which did not happen lol. she has very Extreme highs, and extreme lows. When she smoked Pot with a friend one night for a sleep over dinner it made me very uncomfortable, my son was still awake just on the other side of the back sliding glass door and he could see if he wanted. But i didnt get mad or make acusations. She has a very sweet and nurturing personality though, but only when she ir on her good side or feeling guilty. Deep down she is an amazing person. I dont think she knows what she does is bad, and i dont think she can control herself. She gave me oral sex with her daughter in her car seat while I was driving. I think she is always wanting and needing to feel in a new romance and incapable of seeing through things, she had bad experiences when she was young. She knows that i'm pretty much the only man capable to understand her moodswings. She was very smart, and very dramatic when convincing me to love her and stay with her. I never yelled at her, and tried to see understanding. she will keep with this cycle, and not realy know true happiness. She has lied to her friends about me as well. Its how she convinces herself and her friends that she made the right choice any excuse.. she makes mountains out of anthills. I loved her for who she was, a storm, and didn't care about how she looked or when she was unfaithful. I think the treatment she gave me was abusive and she learned it from her husband, and phycologicaly she feels she has to make him feel good and apeased because of the abuse and from her youth muslim boyfriend. I hope for her health and saftey. I will always love and care about her. I think she has played many sides for most of our 16-17 months with other men convincing them they are the only one, but im the only man to get to her inside, her core, she opened up to me more than anyman, or maybe she was just telling me that like many others lol i think she tells every guy the same stuff and recreates what we had or tries to, also im the only one to ever catch her cheating. I have no real hard feelings to her at all. Its just who and how she is. And I dont think she can help it. As for now, take some caution when you see her and she has a bright eye for you. She has been doing this for many many years. All of this is only a fraction of what I endured. there are many things I can put down but wont. I remember reading her husbands disolution for their divorce, he said she would be violent, angry out of no where, and threaten to commit suicide. He said she grabbed his face hard and said scornfuly and hateful "I HATE YOU", she did the same thing out of nowhere to me.. even slapping my chest and ripping my shirt.... everything lol.. She says she is not with anyone now, and she does not need anyone. I just hope she finds herself and is happy. I truly loved who she was, even the bad sides of her.
orcunderabridge Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 tl;dr As with all cheating stories... The bitch cheated, time to kick her to the curb. End of story 1
Darren Steez Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I do love how people can diagnose bi-polarism and willing use it to sleep when MARRIED women..didn't read the story but you're a little bit of a dick to come here complaining about sleeping with a married woman. Go find your own woman, stop bitchin' 1
utterer of lies Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 How could you possibly accept this behavior? No one deserves to be treated like that. You will suffer and suffer and suffer as long as you keep her in your life. 1
Author crash9i77 Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 I didnt know she was married at the time, she was not even living with her husband. they were getting a divorce. Ifound that out a few weeks after I met her. She would say things like "You need to give up, im starting something new and you are not part of it" to him over the phone, but I think he already hung up just so I would hear it. Its not just her husband/ex husband, she keeps him on a string, but other guys. She has a guy and will talk to him, onceshe gets feelings or curiosity she cheats/leaves. She wanted another baby, and wanted me to give her one only weeks ago lol. Before that she wanted one 9 moths ago and talked about her husband giving her one. this is a few weeks after her graduation.
Author crash9i77 Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 I wrote all that down about a week ago, its a quick version to my story. Im sorry if its long. It made me feel better to write it. 1
Forever Learning Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I wrote all that down about a week ago, its a quick version to my story. Im sorry if its long. It made me feel better to write it. I'm glad you felt better to write out your story. I understand how that is helpful. I've seen this type situation many times with either the girl acting crazy or the guy acting crazy. In either case, they hook up with someone they can use and abuse. The person getting used and abused is called a "Co-Dependent". You need to go "No Contact" with her and get therapy for yourself. Life is too short to endure this type drama and roller coaster non-sense. That is really the bottom line. Get therapy and make your life good. No contact. I am sorry for all the grief you endured at the hands of a crazy person. You are not alone, there are millions out there just like her, both male and female. Don't let yourself fall for another dysfunctional person again in the future. Your future is up to you. Don't let it ever be like this again. You will never have peace and happiness. Get therapy to learn why you put up with this stuff, and to better understand yourself. All the best to you!!
Author crash9i77 Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 I dont think i need therapy, but thank you for your kind words. I was not so much co-dependant as she would first get me to believe that we will just have physical thing, then pull me back in. prommising me that she would not betray me and that we will always be in each others lives. Either in a relationship, or as friends. She uses men for her own need to have distractions, and to feel the excitement of a new person. She needs that.
Author crash9i77 Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 Another thing she would do is make sure i didnt leave comments on her facebook regarding relationship status stuff, or what she is up to with me. for awhile she was in a relationship on her facebook, but took it off. telling me she felt choked. but maintained what we had. She never wanted people to really know her real status with me, only her close friends. almost a month ago she was suposed to meet me and she was running late, she finnaly met me. she was dressed in a hurley shirt and jeans i bought for her and looked nice, she bought me a nice late fathers day gift (clothes from the buckle) she went to a mall called southcenter. we had some passionate sex. and went to her friend joanes house. Joane asked me something strange, she asked So sam Desi said you were out doing things with her today, what all did you do? I was confused, and said... We didnt do anything, we met just a little bit ago.. there was an awkward silence after that. Southcenter mall is a favorite place for Desi to go on dates, movies ect. I think this time it is with a college friend, or work friend.. she recently unfriended me on facebook for no reason hid or deleted all of my comments, and made Positive comments about looks on a new male friend of hers from work, the same she made with me lol
Author crash9i77 Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 In anycase, Im much better off. She will continue her cycle of cheating. There was no reason for her to end us other than all I have stated. She did what she did because its who she is. and because i know how she is. Other men will believe what she wants them to believe, she wil get them to trust all she says regarding her schedule while she is out with other men. and she will get away with it because they wont know that she is a chronic liar and cheat. I knew that about her and accepted it, she wants a man to not know that so they wont be suspicious and she will run around. i know she is disturbed inside and that is why i did accept it.
Author crash9i77 Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 Now that I think about it, Her stories about her husband/ex husband were most likely lies to get me to feel sorry for her. He went through the same things. And maybe didnt know about her cheating. Her cycle for cheating is usualy 3-6 months depending on her stress level. maybe earlier than that. I think she used her husband to come to the united states and be a citezen. shortly after she moved here she brought her parents over and they live with her. She uses sad stories about ex boyfriends or the husband to get attention. She uses all men for whatever she needs.
utopia angel at hear Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Wow, That was long, Sam I know you. You are the kindest, understanding, and most dependable person I know. I cant believe you went throught this!!! She will keep using people lying to people and men and not stop. You have so much, looks, personality, money, and your good heart and name. Women like this are dead inside and rely on other people and men to fill her with desire so she will not have to think about other things that make her depressed. I feel sorry for you and the new men she will tie up in her lies and unfaithfulness. You can do so much better than her by a long shot. 2
utopia angel at hear Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 She is toxic, and you should do all of what these people said and have no contact hun. You should be happy that you are done with her antics and free of it all. Women like this first gain the hearts of men, then tease with flirtacious pictures to gain desire. And make them wait, it builds it up making them lust after them hehe And at that point they are hooked. She is a master manipulator and I feel sorry for her next victims.
Chi townD Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Dude, leave this trainwreck and don't look back...
Author crash9i77 Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 I have, She is crazy. And you know what? She always blamed me for her cheating. And all of her other boyfriends/husband for it as well. She is either bipolar or has a personaliry disorder. The night of july 8th when we were last togeth she said she needed a distraction.
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