vanek26 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 So I met a girl through online dating who is really quite beautiful. She would probably be considered out of my league by normal standards... except she has a couple of kids so I suppose that narrows her options a bit. She's also two years older than me (I'm 22). So we've been seeing each other for about two weeks now. It's really irritating because her kids are constantly around, but I am pretty good with kids so I've learned to deal. I've really helped her out a lot too around her apartment because obviously there is no guy in the picture. We've had sex a handful of times now and I has been great. I usually don't orgasm during sex which is really weird to a lot of girls but it's just really difficult for me to get there. But with her, I did every time we had sex except once. And she has orgasmed several times too. Today, she dropped a bombshell on me. She thinks I'm gay. And according to her, she overwhelmingly thinks I am. Her reasons: 1. Obviously, the fact that it's hard for me to orgasm 2. We were looking at porn as a joke and I said 'eww' to a vagina 3. the way I talk 4. the way i walk 5. hand gestures I make 6. I never send her the first text or call her Obviously, I'm not gay. I spend most of my free time devising ways to court women. So it's not as if I'm worried about some latent desire for dick. However, I am concerned that I'm giving off a gay vibe. What do you guys think? Is she just offended that I don't devote all my free time to her and so she's making this up in her head to justify things? Should I try and revamp my approach towards women? The scariest part was hearing her say I talk and walk gay... whatever that means. This is the first time I've been accused of such so I'm really taken aback
O'farrell Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Maybe she knows more about you than you............
leftfordead2 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 So I met a girl through online dating who is really quite beautiful. She would probably be considered out of my league by normal standards... except she has a couple of kids so I suppose that narrows her options a bit. She's also two years older than me (I'm 22). So we've been seeing each other for about two weeks now. It's really irritating because her kids are constantly around, but I am pretty good with kids so I've learned to deal. I've really helped her out a lot too around her apartment because obviously there is no guy in the picture. We've had sex a handful of times now and I has been great. I usually don't orgasm during sex which is really weird to a lot of girls but it's just really difficult for me to get there. But with her, I did every time we had sex except once. And she has orgasmed several times too. Today, she dropped a bombshell on me. She thinks I'm gay. And according to her, she overwhelmingly thinks I am. Her reasons: 1. Obviously, the fact that it's hard for me to orgasm 2. We were looking at porn as a joke and I said 'eww' to a vagina 3. the way I talk 4. the way i walk 5. hand gestures I make 6. I never send her the first text or call her Obviously, I'm not gay. I spend most of my free time devising ways to court women. So it's not as if I'm worried about some latent desire for dick. However, I am concerned that I'm giving off a gay vibe. What do you guys think? Is she just offended that I don't devote all my free time to her and so she's making this up in her head to justify things? Should I try and revamp my approach towards women? The scariest part was hearing her say I talk and walk gay... whatever that means. This is the first time I've been accused of such so I'm really taken aback No. 2 would make me think you're gay too.
kaylan Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Dont deal with some immature chick like this. Plus shes already got baggage at a young age. She sounds like shes being a hater, and its not like she will have many options on the market...so whos she to judge? Toss her PS - Only immature bratty women will call you gay for not having an orgasm. You obviously got hard, so how are you gay. Its apparent shes just insecure and is a typical chick who needs her ego stroked since she prolly assumes a guy will cum every time. She doesnt sound understanding of how your sexuality works...I wouldnt deal with that.
Forever Silent Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I do not think 2 weeks is long enough to affirm someone's sexual identity. If she were to judge your character simply by your actions alone then it is fairly obvious you are a heterosexual male with problems expirencing orgasms, which can be simply solved by visiting your local physican and inquiring about your issue. Also do not be alarmed about her comments, again you have been courting for only two weeks. If her comments to put you in a uneasy state you can always walk. At most you can consider this adventure a short fling that ended because of "unexpected differences in opinion".
oaks Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 1. Obviously, the fact that it's hard for me to orgasm I'm going to read too much into this and draw a conclusion that isn't entirely supported by the facts... but then this is an internet forum, so I think that's allowed. She thinks you don't fancy her because of the not orgasming thing and rather than believe that this means that she isn't attractive she rationalises it as meaning that you must be gay. /thread 2
MrCastle Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Challenge accepted. You gotta really rail this chick. I mean really give it to her. Beat it up, and then cum on her. That should eliminate the doubt.
ascendotum Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 The standard retort for a girl calling you gay is to say, 'no I'm not, I'll prove it, lets have sex right now', but you are already doing that, so I'm not sure you need to really do anything all that different (apart from mannerisms) if you continue seeing her. You said orgasm was a problem not getting a boner. I think it is a little weird that you have a problem having an orgasm during sex with any girl let alone a hottie, at your age, but for sure its possible, without being gay. As long as you stay hard most girls would find it a bonus I assume because it means you can power away for ages. Anyway you said you only had a problem once which is all she is clinging to for her accusation. so its hardly smoking gun evidence. I just saw Oaks comment and I agree with it. As for item 6. Maybe you should initiate more communication if you are keen on spending time with a beautiful girl, even if she has kids. (she's really clutching at straws here that that's a gay indicator) The scariest part was hearing her say I talk and walk gay... whatever that means. You should have got pissed off with that and asked her what the hell she meant, and if you think there is any creedance to what she says, take note to try and avoid those mannersisms (if you want). From your point of view I assume you still want to keep on with this 'beautiful' girl, but whats the bottom line from her now, is she going to stop seeing you because she thinks she's going to do you a favour so you stop living in denial. lol. Also don't go overboard on doing things around the house for her. You are not her bf yet, just dating.
yongyong Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Bang her doggy style. while f-ing her hard, pull her hair and whisper to her ear 'you still think I am gay?, you dirty whxre?' I am not joking. maybe you've been having sex with her like a romantic movie? It doesn't matter what kind of girl she is. every girl wants to be treated like a whxre.
Forever Silent Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I'm going to read too much into this and draw a conclusion that isn't entirely supported by the facts... but then this is an internet forum, so I think that's allowed. She thinks you don't fancy her because of the not orgasming thing and rather than believe that this means that she isn't attractive she rationalises it as meaning that you must be gay. /thread Well it is documented in science that some men have trouble reaching an orgasim. This phenomenon is not limited to females lol. Ladies rejoice, a man can go through it too!
SunandMoon Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I get implications that I'm gay at times, from family no less! Really annoying, I guess because I'm more sensitive/emotional than most dudes and haven't dated in 5 years. I haven't really found a way to fight it, because frankly I don't give a crap what they think of me in that regard. I know my sexual idenity and I usually just ignore their vague remarks. But OP your situation is much different. I guess the best thing to do would be get other opinions than just her. And see if it is just her own opinion or not. If you come off that way, I guess change those aspects, if you're self conscious about it.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Brutal honesty: I think it's weird that you don't reach orgasm most times. I would find it off putting and I think you need to look at the reasons why that is. Are you watching too much porn?
madjac74 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Brutal honesty: I think it's weird that you don't reach orgasm most times. I would find it off putting and I think you need to look at the reasons why that is. Are you watching too much porn? How does watching porn cause an inability to orgasm? I watch a ton of porn and I have no problem having an orgasm with a woman. In fact I think it has helped me to control when I orgasm which makes for a better experience for both parties. I know all people are different. Just curious of your thoughts and would like to compare notes...haha
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 How does watching porn cause an inability to orgasm? I watch a ton of porn and I have no problem having an orgasm with a woman. In fact I think it has helped me to control when I orgasm which makes for a better experience for both parties. I know all people are different. Just curious of your thoughts and would like to compare notes...haha Watching too much porn and mastrubating can hinder you in an ability to orgasm by any other means apart from using your hand. It can desensitize you to regular sex.
madjac74 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Watching too much porn and mastrubating can hinder you in an ability to orgasm by any other means apart from using your hand. It can desensitize you to regular sex. I was going to say that some men become disinterested when women aren't like the women they see in adult movies but I can see your point also.
Emilia Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 She sounds like an idiot to be fair. I agree with oaks on the reasons why she is saying what she is saying.
mesmerized Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 The last guy I thought was gay...well, turned out gay or at least bi. He was trying to court me/have sex with me and I just couldn't even kiss him. Later on he was telling me how great it was when he was with a man for the first time. He described it in details for me
ThaWholigan Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I get implications that I'm gay at times, from family no less! Really annoying, I guess because I'm more sensitive/emotional than most dudes and haven't dated in 5 years. I haven't really found a way to fight it, because frankly I don't give a crap what they think of me in that regard. I know my sexual idenity and I usually just ignore their vague remarks. But OP your situation is much different. I guess the best thing to do would be get other opinions than just her. And see if it is just her own opinion or not. If you come off that way, I guess change those aspects, if you're self conscious about it. Yeah, I had the same problem growing up. Everyone around me was getting girls and I wasn't, so naturally people started to think something was up . At first I was angry, then I ignored it. Hell, some people probably still think I'm gay
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