h2ojoy Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 she e-mailed. she's going through a lot of pain right now. i can only be compassionate. i replied, very short and brief. but my heart breaks for her. i love her so much. i wish she would stop being angry and realize the good times of our relationship. i've realized so much about myself within the past 3 weeks. i want to be a better person. i want to cradle her heart in my hands and take care of it forever. i love you, y..
Gulf-Delta Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I know that feeling man. What's preventing you guys from talking about stuff?
Sameold Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 they do this to ease their guilt dude...don't compromise, she ended it, she knew the pain that would rise in your soul.
Jono85 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 she e-mailed. she's going through a lot of pain right now. i can only be compassionate. i replied, very short and brief. but my heart breaks for her. i love her so much. i wish she would stop being angry and realize the good times of our relationship. i've realized so much about myself within the past 3 weeks. i want to be a better person. i want to cradle her heart in my hands and take care of it forever. i love you, y.. she broke up with u and this is ur current stance? she disrespected you. sure she's going through a lot of pain, but at the end of the day, does she want you back? she just misses someone being there for her 24/7...and right now she's going to use you until she finds a replacement. gl with that.
Author h2ojoy Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 just to make things clear: - i broke up with her due to my insecurities. - neither of us cheated on each other. - neither of us are currently "seeking out" other people. she's been self-medicating by drinking and hanging out with people who don't care about her. she doesn't have close friends whom she can lean on. i know these things because she reaches out to a close friend of mine, who is really the only one there for her. i've hurt her a lot in this relationship because i didn't love myself. truth is, you can't love someone without loving yourself first. she was there for me throughout my struggles and stuck with me until the end. but regardless of how much i was going through in my head, i have always and will always love her. i understand you guys are on my side, but she's really not a bad person at all. she would never deliberately hurt me. this relationship was built on true love.
Author h2ojoy Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 by the way, i "broke NC" last night. let me tell you why. sometimes i see "NC" as abuse of power. "i'm gonna show her how much she hurt me by not replying and pretending that I'm doing great" / "i'm doing this so she can miss me" / "she FINALLY CONTACTED ME so now I have the upper hand" no contact is essential after break-ups. yes, i understand that. but it has to be done for healthy reasons. i chose no contact because we both needed space. things were so heated that any sort of communication would be like an electric shock. i also chose no contact so i can reassess this relationship. she chose no contact simply because she was angry. that, i completely understand. but after i got the e-mail from her yesterday at 4:30am, i knew it was a cry out for help. her e-mail was short, but it stated more than 3 sentences. the entire day i was scared, but you know what, **** it, i replied with 3 short sentences and wished her well. NOT because i want to plead for her, but because i want her to know that i still CARE about her and am here for her whenever she's READY. "NC" is a great tool, only if you use it properly. don't use it to hurt. use it to heal. 1
steelgator Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Why don't you just tell her not to worry and just take it as a temporary brake up for the time being...that you guys both just need this time to reassess the relationship and for her to get over the hurt and think things through with a clear head about what she really wants in this relationship...because that is what you are doing when it seems like she is just scared and panicing and not worrying about herself.
Author h2ojoy Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 you're absolutely right steelgator. i'm giving it time right now. we both need to heal. the fact that she's still reaching out means a lot. i just wish her healthy outlets and all the best.
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