Troubles Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Im confused as to if us dumpee's should reach out to our exes when they have a death in their family..I'm usually into doing the right thing..and i know i may not hear back from her, but should i still send her a text with my sympathies? When we first broke up my grandma had passed away a few months later, she knew of it..by snooping i guess..but never sent me a text with sympathies..maybe it was because she didn't directly know from any family members of mine or me. We stopped contact last month..so i've been on NC for just over a month..do i still text her with sympathies? or do i let it go..and i do know this because she has kept contact with my sister and has told her this.
Sugarkane Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 If it was me I wouldn't. I don't know why we should contact them, when they font contact us when these horrible things happen. I had a death in the family a while ago. My ex never contacted me during this sad time. So why should I?
Art_Critic Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 When my Step Mother died I received a sympathy card sent to my work address from a girl I dated for about 6 months and had been broken up with for about the same. It made me feel good and was I glad she sent it.. We had broken up and neither one of us wanted to go back to each other and had moved on but what she did was classy and was something that I still feel good about today. The card had to long sentences or hidden messages in it and only had her condolences and her signed name. Just my experience... 1
quankanne Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I also sent a card to a former ex when his mom passed away and kept it short and simply, saying how sorry I was for his loss, that I loved his mom dearly & had thought of her often, and that he and his family were in my prayers. No come-on or subliminal "let's get back together again," just a sincere condolence for a woman I considered another mother. a text is really impersonal, IMO, especially when you're in the midst of grieving ...
Gulf-Delta Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I'd call...but that's just me, and honestly I'd be pretty torn up too. I viewed my exes family as my own...her mother or father dying or her grandmothers passing would be like my own...
Sugarkane Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Wow this makes me feel sad. Am I the only one that hasht been contacted?!
tallydoo Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I did--it depends on the situation. A text saying, "I heard the news. I'm so sorry for your loss." should suffice. I went the texting route because I wanted it to be a little less personal than a phone call, and I wanted to give him the option of replying to it when/if he wanted. If it's not going to set you back too much if she doesn't reply (or does!), then go for it.
carhill Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I would not, but that's unique to the impetuses and endings within our M. YMMV. With another 'ex', my response might vary.
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