carhill Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 My 02.... Lying about important things is something *some* people do to get their foot in the door. If this guy had been unattractive, then this thread wouldn't exist. Life would have gone on. Hence, his style gets dates. If he was/is sufficiently attractive, the importance of these lies becomes lesser and more nebulous. He knows this from experience. Any guy who has dated women young enough to be his daughter *has* experience. He knows what works. The OP *probably* won't go out with him again. Another woman will. He gets what he wants. That's how the world works. To answer the title question, IME that is generally true. People with a propensity for being 'creative' with the truth imbue all areas of their life with such creativity. It's part of their style of interaction. Think of it as 'marketing'. Next. 3
Author zanesfan Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 I can't believe she is even considering it enough to make a thread about it. She should have walked out of the date. Whether I consider it or not is my decision. I don't react in any way because someone else thinks I should. I have no intentions on seeing this man at all. I just wanted some feedback from other people. If you read my post you would know that I am not interested in him. I did have a good time, I did think he was attractive but that's it. I swear some women act like they have never been waist deep in someone else's shoes.
Author zanesfan Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 Unfortunately that's how desperate a lot of women are. The guy can have tons of flaws but as long as they want a relationship they give him a chance. Since I'm so desperate please quote a line saying I wanted to pursue him. I am curious. Please show me. Besides I just met him last night. Obviously this hasn't been weeks or months later. A genius doesn't have to figure out I have no intention on dating him. I just wanted to see what others thought about this. Last night I sent him a little text explaining my reasons for not continuing with him.
mesmerized Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Since I'm so desperate please quote a line saying I wanted to pursue him. I am curious. Please show me. Besides I just met him last night. Obviously this hasn't been weeks or months later. A genius doesn't have to figure out I have no intention on dating him. I just wanted to see what others thought about this. Last night I sent him a little text explaining my reasons for not continuing with him. You stated you have doubts about it...in any case, no need to take it all so personally. Good for you for making the right decision. 1
truth_seeker Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Usually, for me, someone who starts out with numerous lies, I drop them. Yet, lately, after speaking with women, it seems common nowadays that lying is expected from both men and women in the initial stages. It's after getting to know someone, and feeling safe with them, that you let your guard down and start being honest. I can accept the lies only if it's at the very beginning and after that they either come clean or are upfront and honest going forward. Also, they have to be white lies, ie, to spare feelings, save face over embarrassment. In your case, this guy sounds like a player. If you find him attractive and want sex, go for it. If you want something serious, stay away from him. He's all about himself. 3
Author zanesfan Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 Let me also say this.. All I hear about on these threads are, "oh if he is tall, handsome, makes a lot of money women will be all over these types men." This may be true... but a lot of these post come from insecure people as well. The women that glory days are behind them, men that arent that tall or good looking. Why judge someone on who they like because you dont fit that mole? Also I am extremely disappointed in whoever brought up the fact that I have a child. Yes, I do. I am by no means desperate to get or keep anyone. I would never subject my child to this madness. So before you make a comment like that again... think before you speak.. you dont know me from a can or paint. Clearly some people are saying keep seeing him. So even if I was willing to date him obviously not everyone think like YOU do. Again, yes we did have a good time but he understood where I was coming from and wished me the best.
mesmerized Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Clearly some people are saying keep seeing him. So even if I was willing to date him obviously not everyone think like YOU do. Again, yes we did have a good time but he understood where I was coming from and wished me the best. I hope you DID notice that all those people who told you to keep seeing him are men, most probably the ones who often lie themselves and would love women to be naive enough to go out with them regardless of how dishonest or low quality they are. Also, RELAX. Why you care so much what some people on a dating help site think about you? If you think you're not desperate and smart enough to dudge a bullet like that guy, there is really no need to get all hyped up about what we say.
Author zanesfan Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 I hope you DID notice that all those people who told you to keep seeing him are men, most probably the ones who often lie themselves and would love women to be naive enough to go out with them regardless of how dishonest or low quality they are. Also, RELAX. Why you care so much what some people on a dating help site think about you? If you think you're not desperate and smart enough to dudge a bullet like that guy, there is really no need to get all hyped up about what we say. Advice is one thing. Trying to put me into this box is another. Maybe you need to go back and read some of what you and eternal stated... why wouldn't I take offense to that? Wouldn't you? Probably not because you have all the answers.
mesmerized Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Advice is one thing. Trying to put me into this box is another. Maybe you need to go back and read some of what you and eternal stated... why wouldn't I take offense to that? Wouldn't you? Probably not because you have all the answers. You're waaay too sensitive. Good luck with that in dating.
madjac74 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Unfortunately that's how desperate a lot of women are. The guy can have tons of flaws but as long as they want a relationship they give him a chance. I don't see how that translates to desperation. Some people aren't so judgmental and realize that everyone has flaws. Of course anyone should be given a chance and see if you can accept them for who they are despite what they or you may consider their flaws.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Think its it's more of a " don't ask, don't tell " policy". Then you proceed with the white lies. To blatantly change who you are crosses that line. Ever see HIMYM? Barney Stinson got sex through lying about his name occupation all for an ONS. Sometimes television isn't that outlandish from real life.
Forever Silent Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 This guy is KNOWN LIAR. RUN before you get involved and catch feelings.
JoJola Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 this man is a liar and you should run as fast as you can; liars are liars and will continue to lie to satisfy their own needs at your expense
Author zanesfan Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 Yep.. I hit the door running. Its a done deal!
dasein Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Not sure about the thread question, but in this case, this guy will continue to lie IMO. Would move on to other options.
doomedtowanderalone Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) Why not give him a chance and if he lie again, she knows that she have to move on Yeah, why not give him a chance to do what he already did? If you continue with him, he will continue to lie to you. He has already shown that it is in his character and that if he thinks he has a good reason to lie, it is acceptable. So if you keep dating him and in 6 months find out he cheated and lied about it because "he didn't want to upset you" or whatever stupid justification he comes up with, then you can't be surprised. Why even bother? You've only been on ONE date and already the drama starts. There is supposed to be at least a few months when you can almost believe the guy is good and it will work out "this time". Trust your instincts and don't put any energy into him or you will be posting here a lot. Edited July 23, 2012 by doomedtowanderalone 1
Recommended Posts