zanzi Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I just read an article Why Maintaining Contact With Your Ex Is Crucial | | Ask Love Doctor Yangki Christine Akiteng which I wouldn't advise doing. At all. About, how you should try to keep in contact with your ex if you want them back, but I feel like the majority of break ups need an "air time" if you will, in which both parties dont talk because they are still emotional, raw, and likely to fight/ drive each other further away. Iv'e been trying to move on from my ex, but I still have painful feelings. We had a lot of plans together. I pretty much contributed greatly to ending it. He left, I rang him when I got home, saying the usual stuff. Why did you leave? I love you ect. At first we were in no contact because he is ignoring me now. We were in a break. At first he said he "regretted" leaving but then after a week he broke up with me. Because I pushed him and because he wanted it that way. I have been trying to accept the decision he made for both our lives and I am using no contact because I'm trying to respect his feelings. Im not trying to manipulate him to come back to me. I am just helpless to talk to him, without being ignored. of anger/ resentment, or whatever they are. I do not know how he feels, he refused to talk about it. He talked to my best freind about it, how the love was "fading." I reacted with an angry phone call. I was very, very hurt. Thats the excuse I'm using. Im not perfect. I said a lot of things, old problems that we had. Now he will not answer a text or any form of contact from me. I had not contacted him before this happened, how could he text my best friend things that hurt me when I heard them when I hadn't even asked him to come back? I felt betrayed emotionally and rejected exceedingly, like a high schooler whos crush breaks up with them through a friend. I was doing my best to move on and respect him and he has no respect for my own need for emotional space? I am trying, I really am. I am grieving still. It was just over a week ago. The wounds are fresh. I wanted to talk about how he felt and why things ended. Clear the air but he did not want to. So now I am trying to move on. If we could talk, still, not in an intimate way but being civil instead of him ignoring me completely, I could move on better. I guess it is being shut out of his life suddenly, and completely with no answers is making my job of moving on really, really hard. Is he hurt? Angry? sad? Over it and telling me so? All of them???? I guess what I'm saying is I wish we could have ended it in a more mature and communicative way. I dont feel like I deserve the cold shoulder. I think I made mistakes, but I owned up to them. I never cheated, never lied, was honest. Yes. Sometimes I was inattentive and selfish. Sometimes I was "too busy" with uni. Sometimes I f*cked up big time. We started to argue. He didn't want to deal with the arguments. Dont we all??? Am I that bad that I dont deserve a respectful end?????
Rorschach64 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 You don't need to contact him to get closure because all that will do, most likely, is raise MORE questions than answering them. You can honestly say you tried your best at the end, right? Well if that is the case then there is nothing else you can do but walk away, learn, be sad, ponder, and in the end be happy again.
jmjacobs31 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I don't think by talking to him again you will get anymore closure. What you need now is time to heal. The longer you maintain NC the easier it will be for you to start to heal.
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