StrangeBehaviors Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 True story, unfortunately. One of my good friends has been in a relationship with a woman for roughly 2 years. During this time she has broken up with him 4 separate times for various reasons. I don't know about the other times, but know for a fact the last time (recently) she had another guy set up, broke up with my friend, and was hittin' it with the new guy for a few months. Now she appears to be done with that and is looking to reconcile again. And he has stayed in contact while she was banging with the new guy waiting to go back together. I shortly stated to him, "You're f@#king nuts." I'd like to elaborate more and help get him out of this though 'cause he seems so blind. What would you say to a person in this about the past, present, future of the relationship? Note: She has 1 child from a previous marriage that he really loves. It is not his. They have zero financial ties. He has no ex wives or children.
Hat-Trick Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I would need to know more but I would be interested if she was mentally ill. I've already spotted some things in your post that makes me think this woman has borderline tendencies and if that's the case there is nothing you can say to him to save him at this point. Its kinda like drugs, he's gonna have to hit rock bottom on his own, unfortunately. 1
Author StrangeBehaviors Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 I would need to know more but I would be interested if she was mentally ill. I've already spotted some things in your post that makes me think this woman has borderline tendencies and if that's the case there is nothing you can say to him to save him at this point. Its kinda like drugs, he's gonna have to hit rock bottom on his own, unfortunately. What are borderline tendencies? And definition of mentally ill? She "seems" fine if interacting with her socially. He's absolutely sure there is no medication or drugs of any kind involved.
Author StrangeBehaviors Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 Gonna' bump this a time or two for any other opinions. Thanks.
Ruby65 Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 You can google "Borderline Personality Disorder" for more information on the illness mentioned above. I have no idea if that's what this woman has, but if she did have it she would appear normal in most social situations and not be on any medication for it (because none exist.) It's sad but if someone is determined to wait around and hope for an ex to come back to them, there's really nothing you can say or do to sway them. 2
Samilia Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 True story, unfortunately. One of my good friends has been in a relationship with a woman for roughly 2 years. During this time she has broken up with him 4 separate times for various reasons. I don't know about the other times, but know for a fact the last time (recently) she had another guy set up, broke up with my friend, and was hittin' it with the new guy for a few months. Now she appears to be done with that and is looking to reconcile again. And he has stayed in contact while she was banging with the new guy waiting to go back together. I shortly stated to him, "You're f@#king nuts." I'd like to elaborate more and help get him out of this though 'cause he seems so blind. What would you say to a person in this about the past, present, future of the relationship? Note: She has 1 child from a previous marriage that he really loves. It is not his. They have zero financial ties. He has no ex wives or children. One thing i have learned is to stay the hell out of my friends' relationships.. best way is to be supportive. When you say "you're freaking nuts" for going back with her, you're probably pushing him away. Are you romantically tied to your "friend"?
Author StrangeBehaviors Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 Thanks. It makes me question more what is missing with him than her though at this point.
Author StrangeBehaviors Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 One thing i have learned is to stay the hell out of my friends' relationships.. best way is to be supportive. When you say "you're freaking nuts" for going back with her, you're probably pushing him away. Are you romantically tied to your "friend"? No. I'm a straight guy. So is he. Completely true story.
Author StrangeBehaviors Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 Friend went back. Don't know if I can be good friends anymore & watch what happens.
Tree_Salmon Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 my ex seems to have some kind of mental stop that makes her act this way as well. the best thing you can do for your friend is take a stance and let him learn it on his own. Sometimes you can't help people. Believe me I know this, I have acted in the same way. Be honest and say "be careful" and then leave it up to him.
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