jen4 Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 I'm new to this board. I'm Jennifer,32 single mom of 4 kids. I am going through my 2nd divorce. Dating shouldn't even be a thought I guess but I met a guy and he and I have been together for about a month. I guess I am the jealous type and he has a lot of girls giving him their numbers,etc. well I guess I should not question him but occasssionally I do. He tells me the truth and says that he gets flirted with but doesn't act on it. I believe him and believe that he wouldn't lie. I can sometimes be too trusting but he seems sincere. Well he is a workaholic,with my schedule I usually can only see him once a week when the kids aren't with me. He ends up working on that day usually and I end up asking why he can't see me for a little bit. It makes me think he doesn't want to be with me if he can't take a few hours to be with me and off work. He told me last night that work is extremely important,which I knew and that he will be advancing fast and when he does he will have the time to spend with me,but until then I need to not be so selfish?? what? I want to spend time with him,thats not selfish,it's not just for me but for us. If he wants me to wait 3 months or so until he's in a better position at work and can see me more ,we need to work on what we have right? I'm confused, part of me wants to end this,but I really like him and could see being with him in the long run. I think he's worth waiting for if we can make time for each other every once in a while. I am confused. If this doesn't make sense,ask ?'s,I'll try to explain further. thanks in advance for any advice. JEN
nicki Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 yes, it all makes sense...bottom line: he can't give you what you want, mainly time and attention...if he is a true workaholic, then it will always be something...i was married to one and it's not fun...they NEVER find the time and you feel like an insecure wreck always begging for time and affection. why don't you have a heart-to-heart talk with him? tell him what you need. ask him the same question....maybe he isn't ready for the time a relationship takes to progress into intimacy...or maybe he is seeing other people...ask him, listen to him, but tell him what you want, too... if you need to move on, then move on...there is more than one guy out there...personally, i'd never date a workaholic again...i want someone who has balance in life. even if work does get busy and demand his attention, he should still make you feel part of his life, not a burden that keeps him from working...think about it...you deserve the best because you give the best of yourself...
moimeme Posted July 10, 2004 Posted July 10, 2004 Well, you could either dump him because you're not getting what you want, or you can wait a couple months and see if he does live up to his promise. I once got dumped because I was finishing up my school year and had to hand in a major (70 pages) paper. I was spending literally every minute on it and I was not at all impressed that he couldn't honour the fact that I needed to do well in school. So if you insist on believing that he could find some time for you (i.e. that he's lying to you when he says he's too busy), then by all means dump him and do so quickly so he can find someone else.
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