without Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 Ok, yeah the crush girl is asking again. So long story short he didn't want to date anyone but we met a couple of times then again nothing but since I have feeling for him and he kind of added some random girls on fb I confronted him and then unfriended him (it really hurt) then he said he won't date them I added him again this happened a couple of more times because he kept doing it and I kept getting angry so we aren't friends there. he said im not his gf so I can't complain. Now I think he's ready to date again,and he says he's ok with meeting me but won't add me on fb. Could that mean he is flirting there and doesn't want me to see? maybe have some there to choose from? between me and them? Actually that's not fair cuz I spent a year trying to help him and was there for him all the time...
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 Too complicated. Unless you are enjoying this childish relationship, get out.
utterer of lies Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 (edited) So long story short he didn't want to date anyone but we met a couple of times then again nothing but since I have feeling for him and he kind of added some random girls on fb I confronted him and then unfriended him (it really hurt) then he said he won't date them I added him again this happened a couple of more times because he kept doing it and I kept getting angry so we aren't friends there. he said im not his gf so I can't complain. You unfriend people when you don't want any contact with them. If you use it as a threat or as a weapon, you are punishing yourself. And complaining that he added other girls is just putting you in a bad position. It screams insecurity - even telling him that you care who he friends is a sign of weakness. Don't do that. He is not your bf, he can date whoever he wants. You want him to give you more attention. But if you push, you lose. You only give him even more power over you. It might be hard, but don't contact him. And if he does contact you, don't create drama because of stuff like facebook. Instead, be happy. Enjoy your life and show it. Make him see that the time talking to you is great, that spending time with you leads to happy memories, not ones filled with stress and complaints and insecurity. Actually that's not fair cuz I spent a year trying to help him and was there for him all the time... Don't. Don't be there for him all the time. Be there for sometimes, when you have nothing better to do. A girl that is safe, just waiting, pining for you is boring. Edited July 21, 2012 by utterer of lies
Author without Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 You unfriend people when you don't want any contact with them. If you use it as a threat or as a weapon, you are punishing yourself. And complaining that he added other girls is just putting you in a bad position. It screams insecurity - even telling him that you care who he friends is a sign of weakness. Don't do that. He is not your bf, he can date whoever he wants. You want him to give you more attention. But if you push, you lose. You only give him even more power over you. It might be hard, but don't contact him. And if he does contact you, don't create drama because of stuff like facebook. Instead, be happy. Enjoy your life and show it. Make him see that the time talking to you is great, that spending time with you leads to happy memories, not ones filled with stress and complaints and insecurity. Don't. Don't be there for him all the time. Be there for sometimes, when you have nothing better to do. A girl that is safe, just waiting, pining for you is boring. I tried my best dealing with him, I didn't want to use it as a weapon honestly, I was just so sad that I had to do it and wanted to cut off everything with him but he said don't be silly if I want to date anyone it'd be you. So I added him in hope of him not repeating that but he did. I did what I could to not be a drama queen although he has said some very mean things and it was "drama" in its own but after that I always tried not to be pushy or (I usually am funny) but tried not to show any emotional side to this and mostly be funny. A couple of weeks ago I was fed up and thought well I'm the only one in this who's willing to work so I stopped every contact but he contacted me..(maybe a sign of respect rather than thinking about me, not sure). But anyways. He was always so passive in fb but now I can see he's active ( the public stuff, since we're not friends) And his female friend (when i was his friend they didn't talk idk why) started talking to him and I'm getting abit insecure that he may want her or maybe once to meet me to see if im better than her or not...
Author without Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 And the fact that he doesn't add me makes me worry more. Wants not once*.
utterer of lies Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 he said don't be silly if I want to date anyone it'd be you. If he wanted to date you he would. Is there anything more that you need to know? And the fact that he doesn't add me makes me worry more. That sucks, but that's his decision, and you are not able to change it. If he's not really interested in you but you jump at him, he will just use you as a sex toy and you'll hurt even more in a few months when you can't take it anymore.
Author without Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 If he wanted to date you he would. Is there anything more that you need to know? That sucks, but that's his decision, and you are not able to change it. If he's not really interested in you but you jump at him, he will just use you as a sex toy and you'll hurt even more in a few months when you can't take it anymore. You mean if he ever wants anything to do with me it's just for me to be a sex toy? He said he's not ready to date anyone not just me. And he didn't date anyone else.
utterer of lies Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 You mean if he ever wants anything to do with me it's just for me to be a sex toy? He said he's not ready to date anyone not just me. And he didn't date anyone else. It means he's not ready to date you.
Author without Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 It means he's not ready to date you. About a month from our friendship I brought up the dating and he said he's not ready for anything like that with anyone and if he had said yes, he would be just using me. Cuz he's in no place to date. I even saw him say that to a friend if his that he doesn't want any emotional connection with anyone. He doesn't know I know what he said. And I think he knew I'm the one to give it up before a solid relationship. I remember him saying sth like that too. And when adding other girls he said the only thing which may happen is for him to have sex with them, but nothing about feeling. That is if they accept and he's not even going to ask them. and its not gonna happen. He's a shy person in asking, I've seen him. Kind of insecure.
Author without Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 And our last fight he said he see no points in us meeting anymore cuz he thought we could date before.
utterer of lies Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 All this stuff doesn't matter. The one thing that matters is that he doesn't want to date you. All this 'I'm not ready to date in general' is just bull****, things that men say to women they do not see as relationship material. Sorry, but that's how I see it. Feel free to disbelieve.
Author without Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 All this stuff doesn't matter. The one thing that matters is that he doesn't want to date you. All this 'I'm not ready to date in general' is just bull****, things that men say to women they do not see as relationship material. Sorry, but that's how I see it. Feel free to disbelieve. :(i see...
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 I actually agree with the utterer of lies..
utterer of lies Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 I actually agree with the utterer of lies.. Speaks for you. You're learning
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