jw32802 Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 I would like to know how many of you had rebounds that turned out to be long term? Or do you all believe that THE MAJORITY of rebounds do not work out. I broke up with my ex 3 mths ago because i think he is a committment phobic and i couldnt deal w/ his push pull attitude. and i found out that he's been dating a new girl for 3 mths now; during the 3 mths he called me every other night telling me he thinks about me all day long and can't move on and that i broke his heart. Hes like "you dated other people so i dated". So i found out that for 3 mths he's been taking her away and everything but he tells me that he still loves me so much I know i know, i am really strong right now, and I know that i shouldn't be with him, but i guess i need to know that this is just a rebound and that it wont last and that he does think about me, because otherwise it makes me feel like i wasnt special to him at all and that the fact he jumped right into this new relationship, means that maybe i wasn't as special as i thought. i guess i just need to know deep down that he just jumped into this because he was hurting and i hope he thinks about me. I guess i always wonder if this new girl will wear off and he will wish he did things different with me. How likely is it that a rebound lasts and how long do they usually last? its just curiosity, I really am not trying to get him back, I guess i just need to know that our whole 2 yr relationship meant something to him Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Well it all really depends on the situation and how you guys left off. Did you breal it off on good terms or bad terms? Also it sounds like he might jus be doing it to spite you or forget about you because he's hurt. Like you said hes called you everyother day since he's been with the other girl. Unfortunately, I was with a guy for 8 months and we broke up and a week later I met my boyfriend and fell in love. But thats a whole different story. Anyways.. I think you still might have feelings for him too though. Are you sure you don't want him back because you sound a little worried about this girl. Do you still call him? Do you lead him on? Because it seems that you don't want him back but you don't want him to have anyone else either and thats not fair. It's not very mature. Like the saying goes you want to have your cake and eat it too. If you want him back tell him you want him back, if you don't then just let him be happy with the other girl and pray that it does last with the other girl so that he can be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 His new relationship might or might not work. Either way, it has nothing to do with you or his feelings for you. You should really NOT care if it works or not. What does his new relationship have to do with you. I know he calls you all the time, but see how you've become the other woman... I know it's sad, but true. I think you should stop taking his phone calls and move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jw32802 Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 i dont take his phone calls at all. I havent contacted him back at all since last friday. he emailed me and i just deleted it; i changed my number. I would take him back if he changed completely but he needs therapy. Again, i dont want my cake and eat it too, i just think it undermines my whole relationship with him for 2 yrs if he is doing the same things w/ a new girl after only 2 or 3 mths. I broke up with him because he needs to get therapy and he wouldnt get it; he said he wanted me to accept him for who he is but i do not want to accept someone who calls me one day and then not the next. (thats how he was, it was like he was afraid of commitment). i just didnt know why he would keep contacting me and telling me he is so in love with me. but he did say to me that he cant stop thinking about me, maybe he did it to get his mind off me i dont know. it just hurts still i guess. i guess im an idiot for letting it bother me Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 You're not an idiot. It's perfectly normal to be upset by your bf's new girl. You're doing great by not letting him contact you. That's wonderful. I don't think that you two are meant for each other. You should try to do other things that will get your mind off him. Maybe go on a blind date or two. Why did you break up? Only because he didn't call every single day? I am not sure if that's a good reason. There must be something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jw32802 Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 No we broke up because he had me on an emotional roller coaster, and i swear now i see he's a cp . He would tell me how he was sooo in love with me, im his best friend, we would talk all hours of the night about everything, he would hold me every night, tell me he missed me when we werent together etc. But then the next day it was like he was a robot. Some nights he would sleep on the couch, id go out to look if he was ok and id find him staring at the tv sometimes with a tear streaming down his face and he would say "im a mess i dont know whats wrong with me". he has nightmares, cant sleep, he is afraid it is schizophrenia which his uncle had. My heart broke for him. i stood by him but he would just shut me out some days and the next day he would tell me how in love with me he was. i had to break it off because he wouldnt get help, he was afraid they'd give him medication that would make him have no feelings and would make him a zombie. the thoughts in his head made him drink more than usual and then he would only call me when he was drinking. it started to kill me so i broke it off and he said i broke his heart. i didnt talk to him for a week at a time but he would try to email or call me. then we got along as friends but i found out about this girl and it killed me; killed me that he wouldnt get help and try to change, and that he didnt seem to care that i could be gone forever y aknow? but last week i get this text from him and it said "I have been thinking about you all day. I hope you are well. god i miss u". it broke my heart but hes still w/ this girl and it literally ripped my heart out. i feel like a dope for being so hurt, but its so hard when you have dreams w/ someone and when you talk to someone all hours of the night like we did (we talked about everything and he even said, "No one i know talks like we do till all hours of the night, just talking at the kitchen table" i mean till 6am some weekends ...anyway i have all those memories and it hurts, it rips my heart out, how could he be saying he thinks about me all day but then he is with her. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Well, I can see now that you are truly NOT meant to be with him. No one should have to deal with a freak like that. I know one part of you thinks "if I really loved him I would stand by him" but screw that! You have to look out for yourself. I know it hurts and it's meant to. You hurt because you're human and you have feelings. You'll be alright in the end. Everyday, it will get a little better. Stay strong. Here are some ideas that might help you: 1.) Don't contact him and don't respond to his attempts. 2.) Make a list of all the reasons you don't want to be with him. 3.) Write him a letter saying goodbye, but DON'T send it. 4.) Get involved with your friends and your family. 5.) Stay busy busy busy! You can do it! Link to post Share on other sites
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