sevenyears Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 So i guess this is just to get this off my chest. I have recently made some serious changes to my life that have resulted in me having very little to no contact with members of the opposite sex. the changes have been really good things but i have lost all of the friends and social connections i had before which were minimal at best anyway. i was a giant drug addict and had been so for many years (20) and i because of my addictions i developed in a very different direction in regard to relationships. i was really a terribly dysfunctional person in this area and when i got clean 2 years ago i began to put some serious work into being a better person. i believe i have made some real progress but the work has been slow and very lonely and difficult. i feel more healthy but i still dont think i am confident that i am not the type of person who will ruin some poor girls life or heart so i keep myself out of the dating scene. on top of that i dont meet many girls i can connect to. the thing is.... and this is my whole problem , is that i need affection and love both physical and emotional and i get none. zip. zilch. no hugs kisses, affectionate comments. it hurts. i wonder if it impacting my health because i feel sort of hollow and alone and sickly lately. i have considered just finding a friend with benefits but sexual contact without emotional connection feels so wrong, that sort of puts prostitutes out as an option as well...and really, im just not having many of the things girls admire in guys right now.... i wasted my life on drugs and now i have no career or house, im older an not so great looking, i got no friends anymore because they are all dead or in jail or still junkies. the girls in NA or AA are just a ****ed up as me, what healthy girl in her right mind would possibly want me? seriously, im bad news ..haha this whole transition from scumbag to normal healthy human is the right direction and i know it like i have never known something before but this abysmal wasteland of affectionless sexxless horridness is killing me..... i feel like one of those orphan babies who die because nobody ever touches them. lately ive been wondering if i should find a sex therapist or something...
FitChick Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 Why not start by going for a shiatsu massage? It's not sexual but is health oriented and will give you energy. When you feel better and think more clearly, you will have a better idea as to your next step. 1
The Tallest One Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Sevenyears, it's awesome that you are clean for two years now! I can relate to missing and longing for affection, just some form of human contact! I agree that a massage would be good for you! I don't have too much advice since my life is also a mess! Just hang in there, do things for you and seek out new friendships! Maybe try volunteer work? 1
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