midori747 Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 [color=darkblue][/color] Hey all, I just wanted to get your take on my situation. For the sake of discussion I will refer to my ex as "Marco". "Marco" and I dated for over four years. We lived together for nearly three of those years, with the exception of the past six months or so when I was living in a dorm. This was due to the fact that we were both barely getting by living on our own. To help us and myself in the long run, I moved into the dorms to save money and he found cheap student housing. Our relationship was fine while we were living apart, with the exception of one incident around Spring when my ex got angry because he felt that I wasn't spending enough time with him. We got over that and our relationship was never better. Then my ex decided that the answer to his money troubles would be to move back home with his parents. This made sense to me as well. Unfortunately, this is where the situation got ugly. Prior to his moving back home, his father made it known to him that he didn't think that "Marco" could handle being in a relationship. He thought that it was keeping him from focusing on getting his life together. After much consideration and tears, "Marco" and I gave his parents the benefit of the doubt. We decided to "break up", but still keep in contact almost daily through e-mail since I would still be in school about 3 hours away from where his parents lived. We still signed the e-mails with "love" and told each other we "i love you", etc. This went on for a few weeks until school got out and we made plans to see each other when I got home. "Marco" stopped by my house before I went to work and told me about how much life at his parents' home sucked. When he was leaving he asked if he could kiss me goodbye and I jokingly said he could kiss me on the cheek since we were just friends. He then said "we're not just friends" and kissed me on the lips. Fast forward to a few days later and I recieve an e-mail from him saying that he doesn't think we should see, talk, or e-mail each other anymore. Following that I insist we see each other to talk about this. He agrees, then cancels because it would "open up old wounds that he is trying to heal". I make an appearance at his parents' house and after appearing completely cold and unfeeling for the longest time, he breaks down and begins to cry. He tells me that living at his parents' house he can't afford to feel anything. And that his parents all but hate me and blame me for his financial troubles. But that in moments of clarity, he knows that he still loves me. Following this there are two more encounters that are friendly between us and end with him giving me these hugs that seem to say he really doesn't want to let go. So, here's the problem. He's 26, has been diagnosed with clinical depression, and is financially tied to his parents because they either paid or loaned him the money to pay off all of his bills. "Marco" has told me not to put my life on hold and that if he drops me an e-mail 3 months, or six months down the road and I've met this really great guy and I'm really happy...then that sucks, but he'd deal with it. So my question is how do I get over this whole breakup when there was nothing wrong between us? when it is his parents that don't want us together? how do I get over something that I still want very much in my life?
DaiseyEyes Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 I hate to say it, but a clean break might be a good idea. "Marco" seems to have trouble getting it together; he needs to gain independence before he can be a good boyfriend. I think both of you are in the same state of mind right now; you know what you should do but you don't want to do it. Good luck; I know how tough it can be.
Author midori747 Posted July 11, 2004 Author Posted July 11, 2004 Thank you for the support. I just have to take it one day at a time...right?
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