Svet74 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Im just gonna let everyone know on here. Follow advice on everyone who says stay NC with your ex.. Unless your ex come begging for you at your door step.. Do not reply because everything else is just breadcrumbs! They want to make themselves feel better because they can see that you are moving on and just doing fine without them! Seriously I never listened to ppl on here but its true. Here is what happened I hear a rumor that my ex is getting married. Dont know who the girl is. Then I find out her name, age and where she is from. My ex lead me on to believe that something could happen between us. He broke 3 months of NC and stupid me replied to him. I called him today to just say what i had to say. And that i knew the truth.. he denied everything. he denied that he called me first. First said yeah there is a girl, then said no there is no and all that nonsense. I told him that is not the point. Im happy u getting married and whatever your doing. The point is when i asked you to not contact me if your intentions were not true.. why do it?? Not only that but he humilates me in front of his whole family and relatives! I am beyond shocked. Then he makes up some excuse saying that he didnt wanna be mean. And i told him you talking to me is mean. Id have more respect for you if you just let it go. Guys im telling you stay NC. Your ex will call you, and text you but do not reply! Im dead serious do not reply! 1
PropertyChaser Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Im just gonna let everyone know on here. Follow advice on everyone who says stay NC with your ex.. Unless your ex come begging for you at your door step.. Do not reply because everything else is just breadcrumbs! They want to make themselves feel better because they can see that you are moving on and just doing fine without them! Seriously I never listened to ppl on here but its true. Here is what happened I hear a rumor that my ex is getting married. Dont know who the girl is. Then I find out her name, age and where she is from. My ex lead me on to believe that something could happen between us. He broke 3 months of NC and stupid me replied to him. I called him today to just say what i had to say. And that i knew the truth.. he denied everything. he denied that he called me first. First said yeah there is a girl, then said no there is no and all that nonsense. I told him that is not the point. Im happy u getting married and whatever your doing. The point is when i asked you to not contact me if your intentions were not true.. why do it?? Not only that but he humilates me in front of his whole family and relatives! I am beyond shocked. Then he makes up some excuse saying that he didnt wanna be mean. And i told him you talking to me is mean. Id have more respect for you if you just let it go. Guys im telling you stay NC. Your ex will call you, and text you but do not reply! Im dead serious do not reply! In my experience nothing good can come out of talking to someone that has knowingly and willingly hurt you once, once they've done it the first time, it's far easier to do it the second. 3
Author Svet74 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 In my experience nothing good can come out of talking to someone that has knowingly and willingly hurt you once, once they've done it the first time, it's far easier to do it the second. The sad part is that I let my ex do this to me for a 1 yr and a half. Trying to move on and what not then him coming back and hurting me. and im so mad at myself for letting him do this to me. when all it was to him was games and jokes. Im so stupid
edelveis Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 whats done is done.u cant change it.but make the lesson learned and move on.u are wiser now and u know better.
Author Svet74 Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 yeah i just wish i knew sooner. you know? i guess if its not meant to be its not meant to be. I did everything for this guy. was always there when he needed me even after we broke up but he only used me. And he knows that too. everyone could see how nice i was to him. But whats done is done. I dont feel bad or guily or low or blame myself. I just found out the truth. First time I ever got betrayed like this
CopingGal Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Sorry that happened. Yeah, keep NC going. When I kept telling my ex to leave me alone, he acted like he was harassing me for my own good...like he didn't want to be mean. So instead of "being mean," he kept calling me to throw the woman he cheated with in my face. Silly me, how could I have been so rude? I should have understood that he threw the woman he cheated with in my face to comfort me and make me grow as a person.
Sugarkane Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I'm sorry to hear your pain. This guy sounds like an ass! The next person isn't getting a prize that's for sure!
AlexanderJames Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 In my experience nothing good can come out of talking to someone that has knowingly and willingly hurt you once, once they've done it the first time, it's far easier to do it the second. I completely and utterly do not agree with this nonsense. No offense.
BrokenBox Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Well maybe going NC was the whole problem in the first place. If you wanted him back, NC is just a manipulative mind game. People aren't stupid - they know when they're being manipulated with NC. NC is good for when you genuinely want to move on - in that case you cut all ties, make sure he can't reach you and you can't reach him. You replying to your ex shows that you didn't want to move on and wanted him back. In that case, no contact is just a manipulative way to make him come 'crawling back'. And frankly that disgusts me. Just holding some healthy regular/low contact (if the break-up was at least a bit gracious) allows you to just talk friendly to each other and it lays a way better path to reconciliation, if that's what you were after. Also, if you had kept some normal contact, you'd have known he had somebody else and it wouldn't be such a shocker now. I'm just saying, NC definitely works if you GENUINELY want to move on. Any other case; bad idea.
Kovalchoke Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I completely and utterly do not agree with this nonsense. No offense. Well it depends if they hurt you on purpose .. if it was entirely intentional then they'll probably keep doing it
TheDovic Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 Haven't been on here in AGES but thought I'd check in! My ex and I broke up a year ago last week and were meant to be getting married in two weeks... I was beyond devastated when she left me and was off work for months! I continued to be devastated whilst I was in contact with her, even though she initiated it 99% of the time. We haven't spoken now in about 5 months and it has been this period where I have healed! She has a new guy and I couldn't care less, when just a few months ago this would've KILLED me... probably literally!!! My point is this... listen to the person who started this thread because the more you stay in contact with your ex the more pain you will suffer. It's when you let go that you heal. I personally feel I am back to my old self now and am happy. You can be too! 1
Samilia Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 (edited) This is true. However I would keep an open mind for someone who genuinely wants to reconnect, as opposed to the ego boots, random hello, etc.. I agree though, the majority of the break ups have no reconciliation to be hoped for. Edited July 22, 2012 by Samilia 1
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