jakelongot Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 When you are approached on the street, the store, a bar, etc...what are some good openers you would like to hear? And I'm talking above and beyond saying "hi" Do you want to hear, "i just came over because you caught my eye/thought you look good/think your pretty"? Is it smarter to make a comment and connection about something she is doing / wearing? What are some good openers for guys who don't want to come off as creepy? What are some ways you've been opened in the past?
MrCastle Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 If the girl is physically attracted to you, a simple "Hi" to get things going will carry you. If she's not physically attracted to you, you will come off as creepy with the same opening. Cold approaches are a numbers game, there is no universal cure-all line that will improve your chances. It's more about finding girls that are showing interest in you when you approach them and not so much about trying to find a line more women would respond to. 4
Author jakelongot Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 If the girl is physically attracted to you, a simple "Hi" to get things going will carry you. If she's not physically attracted to you, you will come off as creepy with the same opening. Cold approaches are a numbers game, there is no universal cure-all line that will improve your chances. It's more about finding girls that are showing interest in you when you approach them and not so much about trying to find a line more women would respond to. that is a fair point. In that case, what is some "go to" interesting banter that you use after you say hi and you notice she's interested. "where are you from" "wwhere do you work" "what do you do for fun" can come off like an interview or 20 questions.
truth_seeker Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 that is a fair point. In that case, what is some "go to" interesting banter that you use after you say hi and you notice she's interested. "where are you from" "wwhere do you work" "what do you do for fun" can come off like an interview or 20 questions. I would go with: "Hi, My name is -----. I just happened to see you and have to say you're very beautiful. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Whether she accepts or declines, she will be flattered. 2
MrCastle Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 that is a fair point. In that case, what is some "go to" interesting banter that you use after you say hi and you notice she's interested. "where are you from" "wwhere do you work" "what do you do for fun" can come off like an interview or 20 questions. Personally? I don't use canned openers, and I don't like asking random questions like an interview. I play to the environment. Some of my best interactions with strangers were just random convos and it wasn't until we were about to part ways that we even thought to exchange names. We just had such great chemistry that we were like "ohhh wow, I totally forgot, by the way my name is ___" I don't actively cold approach like some people do where they just go after any attractive woman they see. I do what's called warm approaching. I live my life and if a cute woman happens to enter my world, I'll give her a go. For example, let's say I'm a dog lover. I go to a dog park with the intention of spending some quality time with my dog. A cute girl with a dog shows up and sits on the bench next to me--I'll open her up by saying "Cute dog, what kind is it?/name/etc etc"; and use that as a springboard. I don't just approach strangers for no reason. To me it comes off as a little desperate. That's just my opinion. I live my life and if a woman comes, she comes. I'm not one of the dudes that wakes up and says "Okay, time to approach 50 random pretty women"
josation218 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Tough one here!! Whatever you say isn’t important; Whats important its how you deliver the line.. Thats whats gonna make all the difference...The other day I was walking down 5th ave with one of my firends and out of nowhere this good looking girl pass by us.. My friend being an idiot, he walk up to her and told her " Im sorry miss, i dont want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything but i just couldnt let the love of my life pass me by and not say anything :)" The girl laugh and I thought to myself, that ****ty as line actually work... The point is when he said the line he was goofy and charming.. As long as you deliver the line with goofiness and confident, you only need to worry about what to talk about next... When you are approached on the street, the store, a bar, etc...what are some good openers you would like to hear? And I'm talking above and beyond saying "hi" Do you want to hear, "i just came over because you caught my eye/thought you look good/think your pretty"? Is it smarter to make a comment and connection about something she is doing / wearing? What are some good openers for guys who don't want to come off as creepy? What are some ways you've been opened in the past?
Author jakelongot Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Personally? I don't use canned openers, and I don't like asking random questions like an interview. I play to the environment. Some of my best interactions with strangers were just random convos and it wasn't until we were about to part ways that we even thought to exchange names. We just had such great chemistry that we were like "ohhh wow, I totally forgot, by the way my name is ___" I don't actively cold approach like some people do where they just go after any attractive woman they see. I do what's called warm approaching. I live my life and if a cute woman happens to enter my world, I'll give her a go. For example, let's say I'm a dog lover. I go to a dog park with the intention of spending some quality time with my dog. A cute girl with a dog shows up and sits on the bench next to me--I'll open her up by saying "Cute dog, what kind is it?/name/etc etc"; and use that as a springboard. I don't just approach strangers for no reason. To me it comes off as a little desperate. That's just my opinion. I live my life and if a woman comes, she comes. I'm not one of the dudes that wakes up and says "Okay, time to approach 50 random pretty women" Can you think of any examples from your personal experience where you had this "great chemistry"? How did those conversations begin? I do like your philosophy on meeting/approaching/living though.
sid3 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 When you are approached on the street, the store, a bar, etc...what are some good openers you would like to hear? And I'm talking above and beyond saying "hi" Do you want to hear, "i just came over because you caught my eye/thought you look good/think your pretty"? Is it smarter to make a comment and connection about something she is doing / wearing? What are some good openers for guys who don't want to come off as creepy? What are some ways you've been opened in the past? I met my current GF by initially asking her name. Same goes for the last few women I dated.
Lonely Ronin Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I do what's called warm approaching. I live my life and if a cute woman happens to enter my world, I'll give her a go. For example, let's say I'm a dog lover. I go to a dog park with the intention of spending some quality time with my dog. A cute girl with a dog shows up and sits on the bench next to me--I'll open her up by saying "Cute dog, what kind is it?/name/etc etc"; and use that as a springboard. I do this as well, and it feels much more natural and relaxed. I don't just approach strangers for no reason. To me it comes off as a little desperate. Predatory is the phrase that comes to mind...
MrCastle Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Can you think of any examples from your personal experience where you had this "great chemistry"? How did those conversations begin? I do like your philosophy on meeting/approaching/living though. Literally, one example that sticks out is when I got called for jury duty. It was my first time, I went into it thinking it was gonna suck, be boring, be a waste of time, etc. Certainly not in the mood to look for girls, nor was I expecting any girls to be there. Before I knew it, this girl sits next to me and asks where the bathroom is. I told her, and then when she came back she started making small talk with me, next thing you know, we're sharing laughs and details of our lives, come to find out she was 32 (I'm 24) and she was cool with it, asked ME for my number. It was insane. It was one of those unplanned moments that you come across from time to time. Aside from that, I usually reference an event or something happening at the time to open a girl up. Like if I'm at a concert, and a cute girl is sitting next to me, I'll say "great band huh?". One time I was at a ball game and was sitting next to a gorgeous girl rooting for the same team as I was, and we bonded because we were in the opponent's ballpark. The key is making it relatable so they feel a connection. That's when a stranger's guard is down. Something in common that joins you, so you don't come across as a total stranger.
newmoon Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 why should you have to make it anything more than 'hi' - that is perfect. maybe 'hi' and the real reason you came over (hair is nice, cute outfit, interesting hat, etc.). give a hi and a genuine compliment 1
MrCastle Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 That's why I call them warm approaches. You're using some commonality or familiarity to disarm their guard. Like in school, you see a pretty girl in class, you don't open her by saying hey I think you're cute, what's your number? You open her with something like "wow that test was brutal right?", and from there you have your in. All you're looking for is an icebreaker. Once you break the ice; you're good. To cold approach a girl, is very difficult, unless she thinks you're hot. Just like if an attractive guy compliments a girl at work, it's harmless office flirting. If an unattractive guy does it, it's sexual harassment in the workplace.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Why not just be you? If you plan it, it comes off forced.
Stillgrowing Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 for the most part (always lots of exceptions here) what you say doesn't matter as much as how you say it. I recently changed my hair color. I went from my natural almost black hair to something much lighter and many men have commented on it. The comments range from complimentary to funny to curious. But I'm finding that the sentence, "you changed your hair color, I like it" sounds very, very different based on the tone of it. Casual and upbeat is nice and appreciated. Long, drawn out, and standing too close makes me nervous. I actually had a dad that I consider in general to be very creepy say something complimentary and since it wasn't in his usual leering way it came across very nice. I also had a guy who I've known for years who I thought was just sweet and nice say something and it made my skin crawl they way it was presented: too close, hand on my back, said too softly with a gross little laugh. There went my wholesome image of him right out the door. Genuine is always appreciated. Nervous is fine. Arrogant is gross. Leering is gross. sg
El Brujo Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I would go with: "Hi, My name is -----. I just happened to see you and have to say you're very beautiful. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Whether she accepts or declines, she will be flattered. Not if you have a name like Waldo, Percy, or Egbert!
Badsingularity Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 They want to hear. "I have chocolate, puppies, wine, and charm. Spare a moment please and take my arm."
Badsingularity Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Something else. It's not all about what they want to hear, but more about what they want to feel. 2
El Brujo Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Just live your life and if you meet a woman the words will come. So I guess deaf-mutes are out of luck...
Leopard Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 When you are approached on the street, the store, a bar, etc...what are some good openers you would like to hear? And I'm talking above and beyond saying "hi" Do you want to hear, "i just came over because you caught my eye/thought you look good/think your pretty"? Is it smarter to make a comment and connection about something she is doing / wearing? What are some good openers for guys who don't want to come off as creepy? What are some ways you've been opened in the past? Yes! to the bolded. I think it's absolutely essential to make a reference to something she is doing. That way, it's not a cold approach, but it shows her you pay attention and have been noticing her. Something clever or funny is always the best. If a guy can make a girl laugh, he immediately breaks the ice, and it just becomes so much easier to talk to the guy. It really does. Some ways i've been approached? Hmm...well once a guy was sitting next to me for a very long time, and I knew he wanted to say something but for some reason he didn't manage the courage to do it. But I realized it wasn't this. Another man approached my while I was sitting next to him, and because I wasn't interested in this creep (he really was creepy) the guy next to me told the guy I wasn't interested and the guy left. So he sort of "came to my rescue" in a "damsel in distress" situation. It was so obvious to me, but I thought it was cute anyways and we got to chatting and exchanged numbers. Teehee. But I still don't understand why men need to THINK when they approach a woman. Whatever happened to just offering her a drink?
OhMiki Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 I would go with: "Hi, My name is -----. I just happened to see you and have to say you're very beautiful. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Whether she accepts or declines, she will be flattered. I like this. Simple and sweet. I don't know how many times I've witnessed another woman getting hit on nearby where the man sounded forced, or like he was just feeding the woman lines. I get a bit sad when I see this because, for some reason, I feel like the man could've had more of a chance if he just acted a little more like himself. It's even more disappointing when you can tell the woman being hit on may be attracted to the man, but the way he's coming at her just... isn't connecting, so she's not sure whether to go for it or not. I do have to say that whenever I've gotten hit on and found myself interested in the guy, the way they approached me wasn't anything special. Just a regular "hi", or a simple comment on our surroundings/what we're both doing. What it also came down to was that I did find the guy somewhat physically attractive too. Yeah, he may not have been my "ideal", but I could still find qualities in him that held my interest.
yongyong Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 The stupidest thing you can do is asking women for advice. They would deny it but you gotta have something that will make her pusxy WET. (the same as women giving guys the boner)
Necromancer Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 Yes! to the bolded. I think it's absolutely essential to make a reference to something she is doing. That way, it's not a cold approach, but it shows her you pay attention and have been noticing her. Something clever or funny is always the best. If a guy can make a girl laugh, he immediately breaks the ice, and it just becomes so much easier to talk to the guy. It really does. Some ways i've been approached? Hmm...well once a guy was sitting next to me for a very long time, and I knew he wanted to say something but for some reason he didn't manage the courage to do it. But I realized it wasn't this. Another man approached my while I was sitting next to him, and because I wasn't interested in this creep (he really was creepy) the guy next to me told the guy I wasn't interested and the guy left. So he sort of "came to my rescue" in a "damsel in distress" situation. It was so obvious to me, but I thought it was cute anyways and we got to chatting and exchanged numbers. Teehee. But I still don't understand why men need to THINK when they approach a woman. Whatever happened to just offering her a drink? its funny how the loser in this story was the guy who had the confidence to approach you not the shy one. Unattractive= creepy. Good looking= bold/cute. She can just buy it herself. Unless she is underage.
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