iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 If I ever hope to get a date, it looks like I’m going to have to break down and try OLD. :laugh: I don’t feel comfortable doing the sites where anyone can see me because of my job. That means all the OLD sites are out except for Eharmony. I’ve looked at Match.com, OKC, and PoF, and I’m not missing anything by not being on there. OKC and PoF were especially frightening (as in the guys looked like convicts and couldn’t form sentences). I can review my matches for free on EH, so I figured I should do that before signing up. So far they’ve sent me a handful of matches, none from my city, and only one who I might consider going out with (even though he has a young child (I prefer older children), lives almost two hours away, and selected "maybe" when asked if he wanted children. Yeah, that was the best match. ). 1. Have you found that EH attracts higher quality people, or about the same as all the rest? 2. Anyone have any luck with EH? 3. Is it worth the price and the hassle of going through all the steps they require?
sid3 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I suggest not using " because of my job" as an excuse to not use the more active sights. First, you don't need to be on any of them for very long to gauge an opinion of what's out there.Second, nobody is likely to care provided you are not an elected official. Unless you live in a ridiculously small town, there's going to be so many people on the other sites that you should go unnoticed, so to speak. Don't waste your time on EH. Instead, use OKC or Match for a short time.
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 I suggest not using " because of my job" as an excuse to not use the more active sights. First, you don't need to be on any of them for very long to gauge an opinion of what's out there.Second, nobody is likely to care provided you are not an elected official. Unless you live in a ridiculously small town, there's going to be so many people on the other sites that you should go unnoticed, so to speak. Don't waste your time on EH. Instead, use OKC or Match for a short time. What makes you say EH is a waste of time? How is it any more or less a time waster than the other sites?
truth_seeker Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 What makes you say EH is a waste of time? How is it any more or less a time waster than the other sites? I wouldn't bother with these websites at all. Most of the men are just there to multi-date, as are the women. Get out more, be involved in social clubs, and eventually you'll meet someone.
sid3 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 What makes you say EH is a waste of time? How is it any more or less a time waster than the other sites? The lady I'm dating told me what an utter waste of time it was. Her experience is the same as all the other women I spoken with about OLD. Quite simply, match and OKC are the better of them all. I say give it a try. Although I don't OLD, I think its a good option for women. Just don't get carried away with unrealistic expectations. Have fun with it.
pandagirl Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I wouldn't bother with these websites at all. Most of the men are just there to multi-date, as are the women. Get out more, be involved in social clubs, and eventually you'll meet someone. This isn't necessarily true. I can count off the top of my head three couple who are married and met through a dating site. And on top of that, at least five couples who met online and are in happy relationships. I think the problem with OLD is that many people expect to just "find" someone, like a guaranteed relationship to spring from it. When you do OLD you shouldn't only focus on that, but also going out and meeting people other ways.
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 I wouldn't bother with these websites at all. Most of the men are just there to multi-date, as are the women. Get out more, be involved in social clubs, and eventually you'll meet someone. This is my problem--I get out ALL the time. I know a lot of people and go out frequently, several times a week sometimes and I never meet any men. Based on the matches I've been sent, I doubt these guys are multi-dating. I figured EH was less likely to attract multi-daters.
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 This isn't necessarily true. I can count off the top of my head three couple who are married and met through a dating site. And on top of that, at least five couples who met online and are in happy relationships. I think the problem with OLD is that many people expect to just "find" someone, like a guaranteed relationship to spring from it. When you do OLD you shouldn't only focus on that, but also going out and meeting people other ways. This gives me some hope. Do you live in a large city though? It's probably easier to meet quality people online in big cities. I don't know any people, personally, who met online, though I've heard stories about friends of friends who have. I consistenly hear horror stories from my female friends (texted penis pics seem to be a common occurrence ).
jobaba Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) It's just like everything else in dating. The pickier you are lookswise, the harder it will be. Two guys that I know found serious GFs off Match and Eharmnony respectively. Neither are what most women would consider a catch traditionally. One is white, overweight, messy and has a general lack of social skills. The other is Asian and is a bit neurotic. Both are real nice guys though and make decent livings. The first guy has done lots of favors for me over the time of our friendship. If you want a man who is 5'10", cute, white, and has a college degree and is normal, that is hard, because that is a hot commodity. Anytime you are willing to compromise a bit on looks, it's always easy to find a good person. I truly believe this going forward... Add: Both of the girls are really cool. One is cute, has a pHd, and the other is really social and nice. Edited July 20, 2012 by jobaba
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 It's just like everything else in dating. The pickier you are lookswise, the harder it will be. Two guys that I know found serious GFs off Match and Eharmnony respectively. Neither are what most women would consider a catch traditionally. One is white, overweight, messy and has a general lack of social skills. The other is Asian and is a bit neurotic. Both are real nice guys though and make decent livings. Anytime you are willing to compromise a bit on looks, it's always easy to find a good person. I truly believe this going forward... You're not helping! The bolded guy sounds awful. Bad hygiene and poor social skills are unacceptable, even if the guy is hot. I'll compromise on looks, but I don't do fat. Bald, crooked teeth, too skinny are acceptable, but overweight is probably not. We would have very different lifestyles. I need someone active and into physical fitness like myself.
pandagirl Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 This gives me some hope. Do you live in a large city though? It's probably easier to meet quality people online in big cities. I don't know any people, personally, who met online, though I've heard stories about friends of friends who have. I consistenly hear horror stories from my female friends (texted penis pics seem to be a common occurrence ). Yes, there are horror stories out there, but I found you can largely avoid them by vetting them before you actually meet them. And, yes, I do like in a very large city. Almost everyone I know in my age range is on okcupid!
jobaba Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 You're not helping! The bolded guy sounds awful. Bad hygiene and poor social skills are unacceptable, even if the guy is hot. I'll compromise on looks, but I don't do fat. Bald, crooked teeth, too skinny are acceptable, but overweight is probably not. We would have very different lifestyles. I need someone active and into physical fitness like myself. Yes. Then it will be hard. If you need white, 5'10", average to athletic, kinda cute in the face, with a college degree, and relatively normal, that is hard. That is a hot commodity. And depending on where you live, you're competing against Asian and Latina bitches for him. Everybody wants a white dude. Like I match what you want. I work out, have a decent social network, have traveled, have a graduate education. But I'm Asian and short. So you wouldn't want me. No sweat. Just the way things are. Keep looking.
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Yes. Then it will be hard. If you need white, 5'10", average to athletic, kinda cute in the face, with a college degree, and relatively normal, that is hard. That is a hot commodity. And depending on where you live, you're competing against Asian and Latina bitches for him. Everybody wants a white dude. Like I match what you want. I work out, have a decent social network, have traveled, have a graduate education. But I'm Asian and short. So you wouldn't want me. No sweat. Just the way things are. Keep looking. What you just described is AVERAGE. If normal is a hot commodity, than I'm screwed! It's not racially diverse where I live, so I'm not competing with other ethnicities and I'm not likely to meet other ones (African-American would be most likely). 1
jobaba Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) What you just described is AVERAGE. If normal is a hot commodity, than I'm screwed! It's not racially diverse where I live, so I'm not competing with other ethnicities and I'm not likely to meet other ones (African-American would be most likely). If you live in an area that is homogenous and fairly rural, then most 'normal' men will be married and off the market by an early age. I'm guessing that's the reason you don't run into single men. Yes. Average and white is a very hot commodity. I wouldnt call that normal though. Both of the guys i mentioned are great guys. It's like the complaint all people have when they do OLD. They cant find a good person. What they really mean to say is they can't find a good person who fits their physical parameters. Edited July 20, 2012 by jobaba 1
somedude81 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Have you done a search on match and OKC to see what types of men are in your area?
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 If you live in an area that is homogenous and fairly rural, then most 'normal' men will be married and off the market by an early age. I'm guessing that's the reason you don't run into single men. Yes. Average and white is a very hot commodity. I wouldnt call that normal though. Both of the guys i mentioned are great guys. It shouldn't be a luxury to find a normal guy. I guess I thought most people WERE normal. The ones you mentioned don't sound normal at all. One is socially awkward and the other one is neurotic. Now I'm back to thinking by situation is hopeless. Hopefully, people will start getting divorced soon. Yay, failed marriages! :confused:
kaylan Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 It wont hurt you to get on OKC. It was fun while I was there. Ive been off for a while so I could focus on school, career, etc. And I got bored with it lol
Lonely Ronin Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 What you just described is AVERAGE. If normal is a hot commodity, than I'm screwed! I feel your pain, I've had a match account for over a year that I have never taken live. I log-in every now and then and see who is out there in my small city, and I'm always dismayed by what I find. I'm either not physically attracted to them, or I'm not socially attracted to them. I have pretty much decided that I need to move because I'm topped out at work, & I have zero dating prospects.
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Have you done a search on match and OKC to see what types of men are in your area? Yep. Match was so-so. OKC was bad. It's really hard for me to look at a picture and a profile of a guy and feel anything, so it wasn't like I was I dying to date any of the men I saw. Meeting IRL would work much better for me.
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 I feel your pain, I've had a match account for over a year that I have never taken live. I log-in every now and then and see who is out there in my small city, and I'm always dismayed by what I find. I'm either not physically attracted to them, or I'm not socially attracted to them. I have pretty much decided that I need to move because I'm topped out at work, & I have zero dating prospects. I'm sorry to hear that. You seem like a nice, normal guy. Sounds like my situation exactly, except there's a lot of attractive women in their 20s and 30s in my town, but no men. I wish I could move, but it's not possible. I just got a promotion and I love my job (and my friends and my house). Out of curiosity, how large is your city? Are there single women when you go out at night?
Shaun-Dro Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 If I ever hope to get a date, it looks like I’m going to have to break down and try OLD. :laugh: I don’t feel comfortable doing the sites where anyone can see me because of my job. That means all the OLD sites are out except for Eharmony. I’ve looked at Match.com, OKC, and PoF, and I’m not missing anything by not being on there. OKC and PoF were especially frightening (as in the guys looked like convicts and couldn’t form sentences). I can review my matches for free on EH, so I figured I should do that before signing up. So far they’ve sent me a handful of matches, none from my city, and only one who I might consider going out with (even though he has a young child (I prefer older children), lives almost two hours away, and selected "maybe" when asked if he wanted children. Yeah, that was the best match. ). 1. Have you found that EH attracts higher quality people, or about the same as all the rest? 2. Anyone have any luck with EH? 3. Is it worth the price and the hassle of going through all the steps they require? I despise online dating, but if you should go that route, definitely go with Eharmony, not the others. They're waste of time with fakes galore. When you do a paid service, people take it more seriously, hence the guaranteed results.
jobaba Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 It shouldn't be a luxury to find a normal guy. I guess I thought most people WERE normal. The ones you mentioned don't sound normal at all. One is socially awkward and the other one is neurotic. Now I'm back to thinking by situation is hopeless. Hopefully, people will start getting divorced soon. Yay, failed marriages! :confused: Date men in their 20s. I dont care where you live. There's always single men in their 20s even if you live in the most boony place. Why didn't you snag a guy. When you were in your 20s?
somedude81 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Yep. Match was so-so. OKC was bad. It's really hard for me to look at a picture and a profile of a guy and feel anything, so it wasn't like I was I dying to date any of the men I saw. Meeting IRL would work much better for me. How can it be bad? Were the men really ugly?
MrCastle Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 This is not a knock on people who use OLD, sometimes successfully, because even I have an on again/off again relationship with it, but really, when you break it down, what kind of quality do you expect to find online? If we're talking about high quality people who are on there because work takes up the bulk of their free time and they have no time to go out and find people, that's a very small percentage. The bulk of OLD is made up of attention whores looking for an ego boost, good looking guys just looking for easy lays to bulk up their numbers, people who priced themselves out of the market by rejecting people in their range and having unrealistic expectations, desperate people, people with poor social lives/social skills who are too shy/nervous to go out and find people in person or don't know many people in person. The list goes on and on. Add in the fact you can edit your criteria to very specific markings, from income to height, to ethnicity, many quality people are being overlooked. The girls I've scored in real life would have never given my profile a second look. No matter who you are, or what you look like, your success will always be better in person. Your personality can carry you if you meet the right one, your personality cannot carry you in OLD no matter how unique and witty you think your profile is. If you're not exceptionally good looking, online dating, for the most part, is a waste of time. 1
Author iris219 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Why didn't you snag a guy. When you were in your 20s? It just didn't work out for me. I've only had 4 relationships (I'm including my HS BF here). They all lasted from 1 year to 5 years. I haven't dated much at all. Why didn't you snag a girl in your 20s. What's your excuse?
Recommended Posts