irc333 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Yeah, I know...another "Single Parent" thread....but I would like to reflect again. I have a question here....at my age, I mostly meet single parents, but on rare occasions I do meet a woman 40+ that's never been married and has no children.....all I have to say that I think that's a great bonus, but it wouldn't be realistic for me to date someone with kids...or at least try to. That being said, is it okay to try dating a single mother and not entirely limit myself to just 40+ women with no kids (since they're hard to find anyway?)? Like with me, AGE of the child is a big factor. If they kids are like 1st or 2nd graders...very young, that could be an issue. They require constant attention, and you can't just call the woman up, say, "Hey, after work, want to get some dinner?" Simply can't be done, because after SHE gets off work she is taking kids to soccer practice, supervising slumber parties on the weekends, monitoring other parent's children. I once had to say, "Sorry this is not working" because a woman I was seeing lived in an apt complex with a nice pool. It was the father's turn to have the kid for that weekend, but the KID wanted to stay at the place with the pool, and have a sleep over with her friends from school. (Apparently, her daughter was one of the popular girls in middle school). So she was stuck being chaperon to the sleepover and couldn't really go anywhere. So, I would attempt to date single mothers, but I would have to take it all on a case by case basis, wouldn't you agree?
sid3 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I would never date a single mother. There's no way in hell I'll let myself be bogged down by another mans child. Not that this is much of a problem for me because realistically in the age bracket I prefer there aren't that many single mothers. That's what I always thought too up until a few weeks ago. Turns out I just hadn't met the right one yet.
sid3 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Spoiler: Very few relationships start off terrible. This concludes the spoilers.: Duly noted, although who said anything about a relationship? Hahaha! I recommend trying some Polish bread, its quite tasty;)
Author irc333 Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 I guess you could date a single parent, but doesn't mean you have to marry them....that would mean having to share the same living area with the kids.
Kcelleste Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 I once had to say, "Sorry this is not working" because a woman I was seeing lived in an apt complex with a nice pool. It was the father's turn to have the kid for that weekend, but the KID wanted to stay at the place with the pool, and have a sleep over with her friends from school. (Apparently, her daughter was one of the popular girls in middle school). So she was stuck being chaperon to the sleepover and couldn't really go anywhere. SO the single mom choose to chaperon a sleepover instead of having the weekend off and spend time with you? NO, I would have took my weekend off and send my kid packing. Screw that sleepover. He could have it another time. I'm a single mom btw.
curlygirl40 Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 I'm gonna bite on this one. I'm 40+ with 2 kids. I do think that it could be a case by case basis thing, depending on what your 'tolerance' level is for dealing with the issues that come with dating a single mom. You're exactly correct in that it depends so much on the age of the kids, the custody arrangement between parents, etc. I have found a huge difference in my dating 'pool' with how often the guys have their kids. With some it's 50% of the time. Which means the other 50% they are free. I have met guys who have their kids 100% of the time, then others that only see them every other weekend. So it varies. Big difference in the dating availability between a single mom with elementary school age kids and a mom with teenagers that are mostly self sufficient. Can you rule women out by figuring out what column they go in? Sure, just like you can decide if you want to date someone with a demanding job or someone who lives 2 hours away. It's completely up to you. And don't let other people make you feel petty. It's all about what you're willing to deal with. But I will say that when you meet the right person, you will both do what you need to do to make it work. She can get a sitter, you can be more flexible and understanding, you can make the best out of the time that she doesn't have her kids. So don't rule them out, but don't feel bad if you find their situation is not going to work for you.
Recommended Posts