Barrsitter Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I now see why I broke NC 2 months ago. I had to have a few e-conversations with xmm and to hear him tell me he was going to stay with his W. And then I had a few more messages that really showed me that he has not changed or grown but is instead, just playing it safe. Staying with his W b/c that is the safe play. And then I realized, he's not so special after all. And I had put him on a pedestal and convinced myself that he was the only one who could love me properly. Not true. He is not the only one for me and in fact, he is not even the best choice for me even if he was single (for a number of reasons). I am not angry, or upset. I am just doing what Aunt Madea suggested. I have let him go. I wish him well but I have lost interest. And that is what I came to after breaking NC and having a few more conversations. So for me, it was a good thing. 2
FightClub Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Hey Barr, I'm happy to see you're perspective has changed quite a bit since the contact happened with exMM. I think in these situations, we have to go through a very complex view of perspective until we get closer to the 'truth' i.e. what we know is real from the fantasy of the past we once lived in. It's interesting that the only way we learn sometimes is to fall...and why do we fall? so learn to pick ourselves back up again. Holding onto the past and not doing anything to move yourself forward in a proactive manner is the greatest loss in the time inbetween; So I say, rise! rise far above where you are now and refocus your life on thoughts about who you are and where you're going from this point on. At the very least, you owe it to yourself to be happy, regardless of the past. -FC
neveragain2012 Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 Good for you! It's a relief I'm sure. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. But there's nothing like the freedom that comes with letting go.
scatterd Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 Great Job! You will be much happier in the long run.
Happyface Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 A gap of 15 months and NC can change a lot. xMM requested to meet for the purpose of saying goodbye in a civil manner, a little while ago. I have to say I found him shallow, sleazy and arrogant and still assuming that I would fall back into the same old patterns of the A. He even suggested that he come to my house for dinner the next week.... just as a friend of course. THAT WAS THE TOTAL END OF THAT! Suddenly saying a civil farewell didn't seem to be important at all, so I didn't. Benefit of breaking NC was the total realisation of what he was really like and how I had never seen it before. Glad you are doing well Bar. I remember you from a while back. In fact we are both doing extremely well. Congratulations to us. Happy. exGG
Author Barrsitter Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 Thanks everyone! Yes...there is freedom in letting go. The hard part is getting to the "letting go" stage. After that, it's easy.
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