Author ozziegal8 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 after 4 dates hmmm isnt that normal these days?
2sunny Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 after 4 dates hmmm isnt that normal these days? Only if you intend to feel used.
yongyong Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 What's wrong with just having sex with him sometimes? How do you think about this? this guy is chasing a girl he already banged. she keeps making excuses. but he sends out just random txt to see if she will respond. she is bored one night. so she comes over and they have sex. do you see anything wrong with that? Is the guy being used??? you can keep sending him a txt and he might respond one night and come over. you guys can have great sex and both of you guys will be happy.
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 It's not a matter of whether or not it's the 'standard' to have sex with someone after seeing them 2 or 3 times - the point Sunny is making is that you shouldn't be intimate with someone who CLEARLY shows you that you are NOT a priority. And it's pretty obvious that he's dating others but keeping you as a backup plan on those nights he's got nothing better going on. Aim higher. dating others or has a girlfriend? do you think he would treat the 'others' like this?
veggirl Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 after 4 dates hmmm isnt that normal these days? For some people yes, but in this case the guy was stringing you along from the beginning, and within 5 min of a "date" at his house (early on housecalls are NOT DATES) he was "all over you". He was never actually interested, I suspect you were using sex to try to perk his interest in you. Just forget him, he is a dirtbag, don't worry about how he will or would treat others! Geez!! Does that matter?! 1
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 For some people yes, but in this case the guy was stringing you along from the beginning, and within 5 min of a "date" at his house (early on housecalls are NOT DATES) he was "all over you". He was never actually interested, I suspect you were using sex to try to perk his interest in you. Just forget him, he is a dirtbag, don't worry about how he will or would treat others! Geez!! Does that matter?! yes he was cancelling on me before i even met him so its not me...and yes i was nieve about the house call thing. my fault. and yes i probably did along with the sex text, how did you know? maybe if i were so hot supermodel he would be different and i still cant understand why he replies to my texts saying sorry when he has let me down wouldnt he just ignore me?
curlygirl40 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Ugh! The answers are so clear on this you just aren't seeing it. There's a dating blog I visit and he has a past blog called something like 'you don't have to ask what he's thinking, just watch what he's doing'. He's telling you what kind of person/date/guy/potential he is, you're just not listening. Period!! People do what they want to do, what is good for them, and it's up to YOU to decide if it's enough for you, if it will work for you. This guy is totally keeping you on a string. Do you want to know why he's acting this way? Because you are letting him!! Many men (and women too!) would rather chew their arm out of a trap instead of tell you 'I'm sorry, I'm just not that into you', so they dance around the subject, ignore a text, try to be nice. This guy is taking it one step further and making plans and breaking them. Probably because he wants to keep you around to have sex with you at a later date. He's figured out exactly how much 'interest' he has to show you to keep you hanging around. He WILL NOT put in any more effort than you require him to. It doesn't matter why he's acting this way. He could have other girls. He could be married. He could be in the CIA. He could be a jerk. The issue really is, why do you put up with it? He's not interested in a relationship with you. He's made that clear. You invite him for dinner, he says he'll come, he doesn't show and gives you a lame excuse and says he'll text you later. Then doesn't text or call. What other signs do you need that this guy is not for you?? NEXT HIM!! 4
curlygirl40 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 maybe if i were so hot supermodel he would be different and i still cant understand why he replies to my texts saying sorry when he has let me down wouldnt he just ignore me? No if you were some hot supermodel he would not be different, don't make this about 'I'm just not good enough for him so I need to accept this crappy behavior, that's all I deserve'. He replies to you instead of ignoring you because he feels bad for being a jerk (possibly) and because he's hoping to sleep with you again (definitely). Simple. NEXT!!!!!!! 2
Yookie Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Ugh! The answers are so clear on this you just aren't seeing it. There's a dating blog I visit and he has a past blog called something like 'you don't have to ask what he's thinking, just watch what he's doing'. He's telling you what kind of person/date/guy/potential he is, you're just not listening. Period!! People do what they want to do, what is good for them, and it's up to YOU to decide if it's enough for you, if it will work for you. This guy is totally keeping you on a string. Do you want to know why he's acting this way? Because you are letting him!! Many men (and women too!) would rather chew their arm out of a trap instead of tell you 'I'm sorry, I'm just not that into you', so they dance around the subject, ignore a text, try to be nice. This guy is taking it one step further and making plans and breaking them. Probably because he wants to keep you around to have sex with you at a later date. He's figured out exactly how much 'interest' he has to show you to keep you hanging around. He WILL NOT put in any more effort than you require him to. It doesn't matter why he's acting this way. He could have other girls. He could be married. He could be in the CIA. He could be a jerk. The issue really is, why do you put up with it? He's not interested in a relationship with you. He's made that clear. You invite him for dinner, he says he'll come, he doesn't show and gives you a lame excuse and says he'll text you later. Then doesn't text or call. What other signs do you need that this guy is not for you?? NEXT HIM!! Sometimes a thanks is not enough. Quoting your post because you said everything I was thinking as I read this thread. Please OP block this guy's number from your phone and find someone who is interested in getting to know you outside of the bedroom. 1
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 i blocked him weeks ago and deleted his number. he cant see me online now, he has been on the dating site every day. i met someone else on sat night omg what a difference. net guy is a pig compared to this one. i think net guy is a plate spinner and was like this all along he was cancelling on me before we even met up. i sent this text to net guy yesterday; Hey !!! have been away with work and been meaning to txt u re:last Sunday that was really bad form & u let me down both with my time & $, wouldn't have been a prob if u had let me know earlier. I know I have had this convo with you before but not really sure wat ur up too with your constant unreliability? It’s about having a bit of respect for my time of which I would expect from any of my mates as I’m sure you would expect the same in return. guess and what he never responded ? weird as the other time i pulled him up on this he responded straight away. so whats happened since?
xpaperxcutx Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Why the text? You didnt do it to call out gis behavior you did it to illicit a response. I could swear you were dating my ex. Look it doesn't matter now please don't waste time dissecting his behavior it'll be a waste of time. Learn from this and avoid men like him from now on. 1
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 most of my mates told me i should text and that i was too nice, they would have got more nastier. done now, i dont really care needed to say it, it made me realise by he lack of response the creep he really is.
snowflakes88 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Had a look back through your past posts and you seem to have been stuck in this pattern for years now. I don't want to sound harsh, but I think you should stop jumping into bed with these guys so quickly and then trying to backpeddle your way into a respectful dating relationship. Just a suggestion. And slow waaaay down. You're already talking about how some guy you met less than 24 hours ago is soooo different, and you don't even know him.
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 im not thinking at all too forward with this guy, i used it as an example that it made me realise the online guy treated me badly. i also went out with a work colleague yesterday as mates he paid for my whole afternoon unlike online boy. another example. and yes i have had bad experiences mostly online and where i go out.
threebyfate Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 This is why online never appealed to me. Too much chaff to wade through where in real life, there are plenty, plenty of single men floating around. 1
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 of course he didnt reply to my text...he has been online every day... i have blocked him and deleted his number. hopefully i do not run into in the street one day as he lives 3 streets away.
2sunny Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 of course he didnt reply to my text...he has been online every day... i have blocked him and deleted his number. hopefully i do not run into in the street one day as he lives 3 streets away. If you do run into him - just don't acknowledge him.
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 yes i would say im one of many that wouldnt acknolwedge him
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 even he is wasnt interested i have never met anyone that wouldnt even reply saying 'hey sorry but not interested' i dont know why he didnt? he was soo full on week before, maybe he lived out his fantasy with the underwear.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 even he is wasnt interested i have never met anyone that wouldnt even reply saying 'hey sorry but not interested' i dont know why he didnt? he was soo full on week before, maybe he lived out his fantasy with the underwear. Becayse you can't control other ppl's actions you can only control how you respond to things. In surprised to hear he lives so close to you. Yoy gotta syop attracting and dating these men. Case in point stop hving sex so soon.
snowflakes88 Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 You can't keep blaming the men... you pick them, after all. It's obvious you have very low self-esteem, and your desperation is obvious even through a messageboard. I can imagine that men can pick up it and guess that you're an easy target. Plus you seem to have no problem hopping into bed quickly, making you a great target for men who are only in it for sex. I'm guessing he's one of those. You gave it up, he got what he wanted, and he has moved on. Let it go and stop giving it your energy. He's not saying he's sorry because HE'S NOT SORRY. He probably isn't even thinking about you, while you're obsessing over him. And I don't particularly blame him for not responding to say he's not interested... you don't seem like the type who could accept it. 2
Author ozziegal8 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 of course i would, im just hurt cos he lied to me told me he wanted a relationship first time in my life i have said what i wanted and been up front and i was stooged...
musemaj11 Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 im not thinking at all too forward with this guy, i used it as an example that it made me realise the online guy treated me badly. i also went out with a work colleague yesterday as mates he paid for my whole afternoon unlike online boy. another example. and yes i have had bad experiences mostly online and where i go out. Yea and I bet the work colleague guy on the other hand didnt get no sex. The only thing he got was less money in his wallet. Sad chump. LOL
Recommended Posts