Ladylisa Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 First time poster here but a regular on another site. Trying somewhere else. My husband and I have had our ups and downs for almost 2 years now. We have been seeing a therapist for about 8 months but she seems to be the type that preaches forgiveness rather than reconciliation. My husband had said over and over that he does forgive my mistake but no longer wants to try and reconcile. We are both in our late 30's and he says he would like to see what is out there for the second half of his life. I guess i figured that when one forgives, the they should have to work on fixing the problem whatever it may be. Not throwing 17 years down the toilet for principles and pride. I love my husband more than anyone and I am dreading being alone or with someone else at my age. My husband is not mean to me and doesn't talk down to me but can be very busy with his business and has little time for me lately. Our friends are worried about us and what this will do to us independently in the long run. We both have good jobs ( actually his is great ) and he makes serious money. I also make very good money. He did see an attorney about his marital obligations as did I. I wont see alimony according to my lawyer because I make to much but he agreed to give me the new car and half of our savings. He gets to keep the house unfortunately because his father is the legal owner and even my husband cant sell it because it is not his ( verified unfortunately ). He says he would agree to joint custody and an even split in time with our son and daughter. I am about to lose everything that i have because of one stupid mistake. I need to convince him that we are meant to be together forever and I am the best thing for him. He used to lust after me and do nice things or me but lately it is just hello, goodbye, too busy, too tired, working on his old mustang, etc. I need anyone to say what will work. please no therapy or anything of that nature. I just want him to talk too me more about this but he just needs to figure this out for himself so he says.
whichwayisup Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I am about to lose everything that i have because of one stupid mistake. I need to convince him that we are meant to be together forever and I am the best thing for him. but you cheated on him and obviously didn't think you were meant to be with him..Did you get caught or did you confess? He doesnt think you're the best thing for him. Anymore. Sorry but focus on being good co parents and let him go. He wants to be with someone who won't cheat on him and will only love him.
nofool4u Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Can He do this? First time poster here but a regular on another site. Trying somewhere else. My husband and I have had our ups and downs for almost 2 years now. We have been seeing a therapist for about 8 months but she seems to be the type that preaches forgiveness rather than reconciliation. My husband had said over and over that he does forgive my mistake but no longer wants to try and reconcile. We are both in our late 30's and he says he would like to see what is out there for the second half of his life. I guess i figured that when one forgives, the they should have to work on fixing the problem whatever it may be. Not throwing 17 years down the toilet for principles and pride. Oh no no no. You don't get to say HE is the one throwing it all away if he doesn't want to reconcile. YOU threw it all away the day you decided to stray. This is on you, not him. I love my husband more than anyone If that were TRULY true, you wouldn't have cheated on him. and I am dreading being alone or with someone else at my age. My husband is not mean to me and doesn't talk down to me but can be very busy with his business and has little time for me lately. Ah here we go:rolleyes: Blaming your decision to cheat on him. Our friends are worried about us and what this will do to us independently in the long run. We both have good jobs ( actually his is great ) and he makes serious money. I also make very good money. He did see an attorney about his marital obligations as did I. I wont see alimony according to my lawyer because I make to much Why should a cheating wife get alimony anyway? Thats always rich. Woman cheats on her husband, and her infidelity is rewarded with alimony. What baffles me more is a wife that cheats and thinks she deserves alimony. but he agreed to give me the new car and half of our savings. He gets to keep the house unfortunately because his father is the legal owner and even my husband cant sell it because it is not his ( verified unfortunately ). Unfortunately? Looking to cash in on your cheating? He says he would agree to joint custody and an even split in time with our son and daughter. I am about to lose everything that i have because of one stupid mistake. No, you aren't going to lose everything you have. You have a good job, and with the exception of the house, 1/2 the marital assets are yours. And it wasn't a mistake. You cheated because you wanted it. I need to convince him that we are meant to be together forever and I am the best thing for him. If you two were to stay together, your H would be forever haunted by the visions of you and another man together. He'll be thinking about how you were enjoying being penetrated by another man, and all the moans and orgasms that come with it. You really think that is the "best" for him? Thats pretty sad if that were true. You may think you are the best thing for him, but your husband now will have things that will torment him about you from time to time. He used to lust after me and do nice things or me but lately it is just hello, goodbye, too busy, too tired, working on his old mustang, etc. This right here proves it wasn't a mistake. You did another man because you wanted to do another man, and you are using this as the excuse. Not a mistake. I need anyone to say what will work. please no therapy or anything of that nature. I just want him to talk too me more about this but he just needs to figure this out for himself so he says. Depends on the type of man he is. You could be the most perfect wife from here on out, never leave the house so he has no doubts about what you are doing, no going out with friends, or going to social events without him. You could be the perfect wife, and he will still be haunted by visions in his head. There are, however, SOME men, and I feel they are few and far between, that could move on and not let this bother them. But even if you ask the ones that are here, they will still tell you that the thoughts of their wives' betrayal still enters their mind. But if your H makes up his mind and doesn't want to be with you any longer, then at least you can do right by him in the divorce. But sounds like you aren't interested in doing that....."unfortunately".
alexandria35 Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 Doesn't matter how many forums you post this on, your husband is still leaving.
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