Brokendude Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 When people whos never ever heartbroken reacjes out to me and gives 8 cliches in a row i feel it makes me just more frustrated...i kno their intentions r pure and so well but i feel people whos never gone thru serious heartache really dont understand the magnitude of this, i personally only reach out to my friends who've been there because unless uve experienced it personally u really have no clue how to help someone w a broken heart, i do appreciate them with everything but theres a reason id rather reach out to u guys om this forum
penguin23 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 When people whos never ever heartbroken reacjes out to me and gives 8 cliches in a row i feel it makes me just more frustrated...i kno their intentions r pure and so well but i feel people whos never gone thru serious heartache really dont understand the magnitude of this, i personally only reach out to my friends who've been there because unless uve experienced it personally u really have no clue how to help someone w a broken heart, i do appreciate them with everything but theres a reason id rather reach out to u guys om this forum I hate those cliches! They can make me so pissed or so sad-but almost never ever help. "It wasn't meant to be" is one that always bothers me a ton. Or "you'll find someone better!" When I've heard that I want to scream "but I don't want someone better!!! I want him!!!" I think if I did that they probably wouldn't try to help anymore (which would be awesome). And of course they always say it smiling because they really do have the best intentions. btw...are these people that you would turn to for support normally?
Author Brokendude Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Hey penguin!! No i havent really reached out to anyone, no joke my immediate family has no idea. Everyday i work, school, gym, then read self help books and go in here then cry, its a sick cycle but i really dont like talkin to people who really has never there heart broken as much as they r wanting to help. If i hear the "if u love em set em free" lines again i will seriously just lose it lol hahahaha i just laughed havent done tht in a while, i miss myself im actually really hystetical an hilarious an somehow i need to find that within me
Samilia Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 you'll find someone better That's true I want him Can't have him I do agree that clichés aren't much of a comfort, sometimes though, they're right on the money. I think what hurts about the clichés is the undermining of your feelings.
penguin23 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I think what hurts about the clichés is the undermining of your feelings. yes! I think that's exactly what it is- and really all they want you to feel is better. My mom has a tendency to decide how I should feel--and when I don't feel that way she's concerned because if only I felt differently then I wouldn't be so unhappy. It's all a learning process. Recently we decided that if I just need her to listen than I can tell her-it's helped with the cliches/undermining of feelings in general. And yeah, they are often true and that's also painful. I guess that's why people not in a BU situation like to say them-they're true. But they still suck to hear, especially if you're not there yet. Brokendude-do other people just not know about what a hard time you've had with the breakup or do they not know about the break up at all? Either way it's definitely good that you're on here to get some support.
Author Brokendude Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 My social network knows coz we have mutual friends but my immediate family has no idea, i dont have a strong support w my family , theyre not compassionate people ao im on my own everyday, and guess what my work place is owned by my family so i hafta keep my mouth shut at work too
AlexanderJames Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Haha there's a reason they get thrown around so much. It almost always goes like this; Gets heartbroken - Hears it wasnt meant to be, you'll find someone better and the one that EVERYONE hates hearing time heals all wounds - Wants to punch everyone in the face Gets over heartbreak - Realises that all of those cliches where right all along - Tells cliches to everyone suffering heartbreaks. Most people hate hearing cliche's when they've had their heart ripped to pieces. But you will find someone else. And time definitely does heal all wounds.. Youll see. In time
RogerWallace111 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I've felt the same way, but AJ is right, they tend to be truths. Cliche or not. They've become cliche as theyve been universally proven to be the truth millions of times. What mostly bothers me is when people give me that sh*t without any real thought or empathy for your situation. And yeah, it's usually the type of people who haven't been through it or take breakups in stride. One of my best friends was with his first girlfriend like 7 or 8 years, then started to develop a close, flirtatious friendship with a coworker. He cheated on his gf a bit with her, blaming it on her being away at college for months at a time. She came back on a break, sensed the distance between them (though didn't know of the cheating), and broke it off with him. He pretty much simultaneously started officially dating the second girl. Who, I'll admit, was cooler, more intelligent, and just as sweet. Basically "upgraded" without any breakup pain after an 8 year relationship. Anyway, I don't know what I expect, but as I generally talk with him about the deepest of issues, I regularly find myself sharing my post BU thoughts/pain with him. He always tells me "youre better off without her", "you'll find a way cooler chick", "it's all good", and all that ****. It bugs the f*ck out of me. Though he'll sometimes relate it to his own situation, where as much as he thought he loved his ex and could have seen himself settling, he's found a much deeper connection with his current girl, which I suppose is worth telling me.
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