KatZee Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I've done a lot of reading about this, and even from personal experience, once one person in the relationship notices that their significant other is more in love/more into the relationship than they are, that's when things go downhill pretty quickly. That person who isn't as in love or as invested slowly beings to take advantage, and take for granted their partner. This is pretty much what happened in my case. I showed him beyond any doubt I was way more invested than he. And slowly he started pushing boundaries, until the end where he frankly didn't give a sh*t about anything anymore. But two people are never on the EXACT same page... how do people navigate this area and keep the relationship intact? I want to find a guy who is genuinely and unconditionally in love with me, but I'm starting to really lose hope that this even exists. Reading all of these stories on here, in the marriage/divorce section... is true love even for real?
Author KatZee Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 Whoever cares less has all the power. That's what I'm saying. And most people abuse this power. So true love therefore really can't exist right? If one always cares less, then they have the ability to just walk away no problem and move on to the next. No two people are ever going to be exactly in love the same way as their partner, one is always more into it. So how can a relationship navigate this? I see this post after post. The devastated person here was so into it, would do everything and anything, and their ex walked away no problem. Kinda not believing in true love anymore.
CaliBabe Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Sadly, this is so true. The new guy I had been dating was WAY more into me that I was into him in the beginning. I then got use to being treated so well and started to fall for him and began to reciprocate those feelings back. BIG MISTAKE. I ended up feeling neglected as he thought he had me in the bag. Since I felt that way I ended up dumping him. I cut him from all social networks. It took a few days of me being completely silent for him to break and realize he was treating me this way and to ask for me to give it another shot. Moral of the story is yes... As the other poster above me mentioned, the one who cares the least controls the relationship! SO TRUE.
dsw31 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Well the truth is,when you love yourself, it won't totally devastate you. There is true love but it's rare & very hard to find. 1
Author KatZee Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 Well the truth is,when you love yourself, it won't totally devastate you. There is true love but it's rare & very hard to find. That's why the end of my relationship didn't devastate me. I moved on extremely quickly... (I actually surprised myself there) but it's still annoying to realize this. What does one have to do? Pretend feelings aren't that strong? Or play the push and pull game with someone you're with? Why do relationships feel like they're just way too much work? Way too many games being played.
AlexanderJames Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I've done a lot of reading about this, and even from personal experience, once one person in the relationship notices that their significant other is more in love/more into the relationship than they are, that's when things go downhill pretty quickly. That person who isn't as in love or as invested slowly beings to take advantage, and take for granted their partner. This is pretty much what happened in my case. I showed him beyond any doubt I was way more invested than he. And slowly he started pushing boundaries, until the end where he frankly didn't give a sh*t about anything anymore. But two people are never on the EXACT same page... how do people navigate this area and keep the relationship intact? I want to find a guy who is genuinely and unconditionally in love with me, but I'm starting to really lose hope that this even exists. Reading all of these stories on here, in the marriage/divorce section... is true love even for real? I suggest buying a dog. A dog is the only thing on the planet that will love you more than it loves itself. Unconditionally. And as for the true love being real part. I dont think true love just happens and it's forever. True love and love at first sight to me are just ways of describing a strong physical attraction to a new person or a big spark when personalities connect. But like any relationship for it to last and be real it needs lots of upkeep. There has to be rules and both people need to actually put in effort to keep the love alive. It is possible and it does happen. Look at elderly couples who have been hitched 50+ years. The reason you see so many sad stories on here is because thats what the forum is for. Sharing and recovering from sad stories. For every unfortunate outcome you read here there could be 10's to 100's of successful and happy couples out there.
zanzi Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 you will find that. You need someone who STAYS even when things are really hard, and sh*tty, and the initial attraction is gone, and the butterflies arent there anymore, and things get deeper, and things get hard. Not many people understand that love is not just about your feelings, its also a commitment to stay. 1
hinatticus Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I've done a lot of reading about this, and even from personal experience, once one person in the relationship notices that their significant other is more in love/more into the relationship than they are, that's when things go downhill pretty quickly. That person who isn't as in love or as invested slowly beings to take advantage, and take for granted their partner. This is pretty much what happened in my case. I showed him beyond any doubt I was way more invested than he. And slowly he started pushing boundaries, until the end where he frankly didn't give a sh*t about anything anymore. But two people are never on the EXACT same page... how do people navigate this area and keep the relationship intact? I want to find a guy who is genuinely and unconditionally in love with me, but I'm starting to really lose hope that this even exists. Reading all of these stories on here, in the marriage/divorce section... is true love even for real? Some people get complacent. Mostly guys. Doesn't mean they love you less. Sometimes it does tho. Analogy time... I love my truck. I get used to the way it drives. I might take it for granted that it drives very nicely. I may not be as excited as the first day I brought it home. I still love my truck. It recently broke down. I was pissed. But I love my truck so much that I decided to fix the problem rather than get a new one. I still love my truck and am grateful I have it in my life... Some people won't care to fix a car and drive it til it dies then go and get a new one. I had a jeep when I was younger and it kept breaking down. I kept fixing it tho until I realized it wasnt worth fixing anymore. Some relationships are like that. Sometimes you may even get a lemon! Run for the hills in this case. Although I had a lemon once and kept it for 3 years! It only ran for 1 of those years. I guess I'm just that loyal. Some people just don't realize what they have until it breaks. The love is still there tho. But I do agree, some people are assh*les and just don't care. 1
Author KatZee Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 I suggest buying a dog. A dog is the only thing on the planet that will love you more than it loves itself. Unconditionally. And as for the true love being real part. I dont think true love just happens and it's forever. True love and love at first sight to me are just ways of describing a strong physical attraction to a new person or a big spark when personalities connect. But like any relationship for it to last and be real it needs lots of upkeep. There has to be rules and both people need to actually put in effort to keep the love alive. It is possible and it does happen. Look at elderly couples who have been hitched 50+ years. The reason you see so many sad stories on here is because thats what the forum is for. Sharing and recovering from sad stories. For every unfortunate outcome you read here there could be 10's to 100's of successful and happy couples out there. Dogs are smelly. I'm more of a cat person. (I guess I'm a glutton for this unconditional love punishment, hahahaha)
Author KatZee Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 you will find that. You need someone who STAYS even when things are really hard, and sh*tty, and the initial attraction is gone, and the butterflies arent there anymore, and things get deeper, and things get hard. Not many people understand that love is not just about your feelings, its also a commitment to stay. This. I guess I've just never met a person who cares enough to stick around and work through the bad times. I guess I'm a crappy boyfriend picker!
Recommended Posts