Fallen madly in love with a girl with a long distance boyfriend!

[GregMarine]

Early morning on the 18 May this year I got a text from agirl. Who I never knew and only heard of. Her name is, well ill just stick withthe first letter as of recent I use it as a reference to Okay. So K texted meon the 18 it was just a simple hello, since we, first I need tostress this, relationships in the work place fail often, but with the company Iwork for which is in the network marketing business relationships thrive. So letme get back to the story, which is going to be long by the way. Anyways she ismy upline and we speak often. Now back to the story. On the 25 to the 27 May I hada business conference, ill disclose this info, so let’s just say I’m a New Yorkerand I have a business conference in Baltimore! Okay. I live in New York, shelives in Washington and I have a business conference in Baltimore. Actually I’ma South African so all this occurs in South Africa, with obvious city namechanges. Okay I had a conference in Bloemfontein I’m from Pietermaritzburg shelives in Port Elizabeth. Haha. Okay. Let’s not confuse.

Anyways We texted from the 18 to the 22 May, all friendlyetc. then she calls me out of the blue on the 22 I’m scared as **** and wait for it to ring and ring, 20 seconds later it’s still ringing so I pick up thephone… Ow my god, you people should hear her voice; it’s the sweetest most beautifulvoice I had ever heard.

We spoke for over 30 minutes, at the end of the phone callshe said we will speak tomorrow, at the same time the next day we spoke againand again and again. Each surpassing 30 minutes. This went on almost every day,unless she was very busy which she then emailed me I’m too busy to talk willcall tomorrow. We spoke almost every day until my business meeting which was inmy home town which she came to.

Let me break down the conversations we had. Instead of business talk which was the point of theconversations we spoke about personal things… she asked me once what my dreamwas. I told her that I wanted to be a Marine and go to War, so are my childhoodfantasies. Which she relied no why, you will have to kill people.

She would giggle at stupid things I said and serious things Isaid she giggled all the time when we spoke. She said about 2 weeks later thatshe really enjoyed speaking to me, which I stupidly giggled at. The next day I saidthe same thing, and she said aw thank you so much, and giggled. At this point Istarted to develop a connection to this girl, like she could be an awesomebubbly friend because I am not looking for anything at the moment; because whenyou look you find… nothing when you don’t look it jumps up and kicks you in theass. Our conversations started getting a little more intense. One point I explainedthe actions of my father which culminated in his running away from his familyto which I broke down and cried, very unmanly, but you looking at someone whowas man enough to fight in Afghanistan. Anyways 7 weeks ago I tore up my marineapplications and was very very very happy I did it because of the reality ofbecoming a casualty in the war was too much to bare. I told her I wasn’t goinganymore and that I tore up my application forms to which she replied that’s thesweetest thing anyone could say to me, I was so so so confused did I complimenther? Anyways her voice was shaky when she said that as if it meant a lot toher, she didn’t want me to fight in a war and didn’t want me to kill someone,most of all she didn’t want me to die. We spoke until the 28 June. I had mymeeting on the 29, I started to feel very very very uneasy because I arrivedfirst at the meeting and was waiting for about 15 minutes before I saw her carpull up I was so nervous I get to meet this girl I was speaking on the phone tofor the entire month and a half. I meet her and we shook hands because we nevermet before. So 500 days of summer scenario. Thought we would awkwardly hug. Anywayswe spoke for 30 minutes in person before the meeting had started.

We walked together and bumped shoulders often

We talked face to face near a wall which we leant againstand spoke very close to each other, about 10 to 15 inches apart

I was wearing a suit to which she said your collar iscrooked and she straightened it, (it wasn’t)

She mimicked my every move and played with her hair and shylyglanced away from me, she brushed her hair over her right shoulder often duringthe meeting. Her grandfather was there so things couldn’t be open. I bumped herfoot to which about 10 minutes later she did the same

She is a survivor of cancer, she has a scare across herneck, and I asked her and touched her scare. She got quite emotional about it. Iwas genuinely concerned about her. I had supper with her and her grandfather,during grace we held hands and she rubbed her thumb across my hand and squeezedwhen we had finished grace. We spoke during dinner. The next day the same routinefollowed. At the end of the meeting I touched her shoulder to which she huggedme. She stood next to me when she was speaking to a friend of mine to which shegrabbed my shoulder and ran her hand down to my forearm. I stayed in theconference room when she left. I was packing up when I got an epiphany. So I ranout before she left and quickly spoke to her grandfather about the business, anexcuse to talk, I walked past her and said that she had very blue eyes and thatthey are incredibly beautiful. She thanked me sincerely. We have spoken on thephone twice since that meeting. I have now got a blackberry and we converse, onlyabout the business. I have questions which she answers I know she’s a very recentlyturned extrovert. She has a lot of friends down her part. And recently foundout she is currently in a long distance relationship with a guy who worksoverseas for most of the year and lives, when he is in country, on the otherside of the country. They have been going out, when he lived in her area for 3and a bit years. Recently he has started working permanently overseas. It’s nowa long distance thing. I am now completely and utterly mad about this girl

I’ve toned and simplified everything to the bone. The nexttime I will see her will probably be in late October, then we go on a cruisetogether at the end of the year. Her guy will obviously still be overseas.

I know for a fact she likes me.

And I like her. I’m an incredibly nice guy with high Christianmoral values, but I love this girl. I really do love her. I’m not going tosteal her, that’s a stupid move, but I think honest flirting might be harmless. Any Advice, I’m thinking of not speaking to her for a while,just to see if she decides to contact me. I have very very high dreams formmyself and I’m not afraid of getting them and fighting to achieve them. She knowsthis. Should I wait until she breaks up with him, if they do?

Because I will marry her, when you know you know right?

 

Thank you to those who will respond. Remember we have only metonce and have spent 2 days together. After October, well I want to go down andsee my brother, who lives in the same area and maybe see her in early September.She wants me to spend Christmas and my birthday down at her place. fyi

Edited July 19, 2012 by GregMarine

[ladyabstrused]

But she's in a relationship...long distance or not, she's some guy's girlfriend.

 

She's probably missing him and yearning for some attention. Who knows what this is you're experiencing with her.

 

But, she's in a relationship.

 

Don't people value the meaning of being in a relationship anymore?

[Ghisop]

I agree with lady. Ldr's count as relationships. Whether you want to admit it or not. She should either end it or she is using you for the "physical" part of the relationship she is missing

[TMichaels]

GregMarine,

 

Put the shoe on the other foot: How would you like it of *your* g/f was flirting, texting, calling, talking with, touching and going on a cruise with another guy?

 

I don't think you'd be very happy -- with either your girl OR the other guy.

 

So don't put yourself in that position and tell her that though you're flattered by the attention she's given you, she's in a relationship with someone else and *that* should be her priority, *not you.*

 

Best,

TMichaels

 

 

P.S. Next time you post, please break what you write up into paragraphs. It's very hard for others to read "a wall of text" and you'll find many won't bother to take the time and give you the advice you seek.

Edited July 22, 2012 by TMichaels

[GregMarine]

This guy was her first boyfriend. He is never in country and lives on the other side if the country anyways. When he is overseas he never contacts her. Her best friend told me she really admires her because it must be tough on her, it probably is, but all I can be know is a great friend to her. I didnt flirt with her. i touched her on the shoulder when i said something meaningful. Shes a great girl, if we dont end up together then she would probably end up being one of my best friends. Its just who she is, she is the nicest person I have ever met. Being a Cancer survivor, the only thing you can look at is the positive side otherwise death, you know, and i believe that we will end up together. She is young and wont marry the guy now, you see getting married in South Africa at that age is really frowned upon, we are reasonable and marry from 27 to 35, shes 21 he's 20... thats what she told me, she wont marry him, even though she said she loves him, because she said she is going to wait until shes at least 27 to 28 before she even considers it, her best friend said the same thing to me, about her. She isnt lying since we both in the same boat.

 

Just got to believe. Well im am partying with Celebrities this weekend. I am that wealthy, through suffering can only come good. I kinda over stepped my mark a bit. :\ ow well, ill always be there for her in some way or another.