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I'm really bummed by a silly thing.


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Posted

I met a girl on OKCupid a long time ago, but since she admitted that she was 16 (I was 19) I had to stop contacting her after the first message, even though she was eager to continue. However, I always thought about her a lot, and I finally sent her a message on Facebook since she's old enough now. It seems that she has logged in since I sent the message, and I'm pretty sure she ignored it.

 

On one hand, this result was by far the most likely one. Even though her name was easy to guess from the screenname and she lives in a small town (making her easy to find), looking someone up does carry that creep factor with it. Also, she lives a long way away and I'm moving in about two months.

 

On the other hand ... I'm sad, both for the obvious reason and because she really gave me a good feeling. If she had been old enough at the time, I would have dated her without hesitation. Also, it's been a very long time since I've had a girlfriend.

 

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Posted

My guess is she is in another relationship, so she deleted/ignored your message. Doesn't mean that she wouldn't otherwise be interested.

 

That said - I think you are projecting a lot of your own fantasy onto this girl. You quit contacting her after the first message, so you really don't know much about her at all. You've just filled in all the blanks with positive stuff, when in reality, she could have some major issues.

 

Keep moving forward and keep putting yourself out there.

Posted
I met a girl on OKCupid a long time ago, but since she admitted that she was 16 (I was 19) I had to stop contacting her after the first message, even though she was eager to continue. However, I always thought about her a lot, and I finally sent her a message on Facebook since she's old enough now. It seems that she has logged in since I sent the message, and I'm pretty sure she ignored it.

 

On one hand, this result was by far the most likely one. Even though her name was easy to guess from the screenname and she lives in a small town (making her easy to find), looking someone up does carry that creep factor with it. Also, she lives a long way away and I'm moving in about two months.

 

On the other hand ... I'm sad, both for the obvious reason and because she really gave me a good feeling. If she had been old enough at the time, I would have dated her without hesitation. Also, it's been a very long time since I've had a girlfriend.

 

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Check your states law you idiot. It could be legal, or you might have to wait a year.

  • Author
Posted
Check your states law you idiot. It could be legal, or you might have to wait a year.

 

Pardon me, manup, but did you even read the entire message? The state law is no longer an issue. The age is 17 here for anyone to date. It was an issue LAST year.

  • Author
Posted
Its not illegal for a 19 year old man to have a conversation with a 16 year old girl over the Internet. Its not illegal for you to be friends either. Its only illegal for you to touch her sexually (kisses, sex, etc. and probably to even mention sex to her).

 

You could of remained friends until her 18th birthday. Not that it would of been worth it though. Generally women/girls that age have the attention span of a gnat.

 

Also, time goes slower when you're younger. So those 2 years from when she was 16 to 18 are more like 6 years for her. A lot happens between 16 and 18.

 

I'm aware of all those things. However, in an America where Jerry Sandusky openly molests children for years and good kids get put on the sex offender registry over dumb photos, one really must be careful. I didn't want to risk it.

 

My main disappointment is in the lack of response. That's what I wanted to talk about more than anything. I get the point that I'm projecting this imagined persona on her, but her profile and that first and only round of messaging revealed someone that I thought I would like. When I went to bed I used to dream about meeting her when she was old enough and treating her like a princess. And, I don't know, I fall really hard for girls like that. Really, really hard. See above commentary about how infrequently I date -- although I see a bright future ahead for me since I'm now bringing out my bold, confident side when I meet women.

  • Author
Posted

I'm bumping this for the night crowd.

 

I need to stop going to her page. I just did and it made me moody.

 

I just wish that I could have her.

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