mickleb Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 My girlfriend of 5 years told me she's not in love with me and left me. I thought I was a good boyfriend, always caring and affectionate. She was my life, I helped her with everything I could to make her life good (my mom always kept telling me that I spoiled her too much). Lately she wasn't showing me much affection, was not very sexual with me, and I had a feeling she didn't love me anymore, I guess I was right. I feel being taken for granted and not appreciated. She is like a different person now, I can't talk to her. She is so cold with me. And worst part... same scenario happened before with a girlfriend of 2 years. You didn't think the threesomes issue was relevant to add to the above information when you came here, broken-hearted and looking for reasons as to why your second GF left you? The break-up scenario was quite different with 5 yr GF to 2 yr Gf, wasn't it, rather than 'the same'? You started having the therapy when, exactly? Am I right to presume that the 5-consecutive-orgasms night happened with 5 yr GF, and just with her, before you had the therapy? (This is how it read when you first stated that - back in Oct/Nov).
Author D87 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 You didn't think the threesomes issue was relevant to add to the above information when you came here, broken-hearted and looking for reasons as to why your second GF left you? The break-up scenario was quite different with 5 yr GF to 2 yr Gf, wasn't it, rather than 'the same'? You started having the therapy when, exactly? Am I right to presume that the 5-consecutive-orgasms night happened with 5 yr GF, and just with her, before you had the therapy? (This is how it read when you first stated that - back in Oct/Nov). I'm sure it was relevant, but I was upset and didn't feel like reading about how it was all my fault she left because I wanted to keep having threesomes, so I excluded that park. I didn't really "need" the therapy per se, my levels were still in normal range (but in high range), I just got it because being the perfectionist that I am, I wanted to feel like superman lol
bac Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 And the current GF, with whom we also had a three-way relationship and who is now thinking of breaking up with me. That is easy to help you. She has probably told you why she was not happy with you during the R. You probably thought that she could handle the emotional problems on her own and you did not do anything about them. Most men do the same in their failed Rs. You need to know the reasons why she wants to break up. Then, you might want to save the R by giving her what she wants.
mickleb Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I'm sure it was relevant, but I was upset and didn't feel like reading about how it was all my fault she left because I wanted to keep having threesomes, so I excluded that park. That's impressively honest of you. You wanted some sympathy without the judgement, I get that. I didn't really "need" the therapy per se, my levels were still in normal range (but in high range), I just got it because being the perfectionist that I am, I wanted to feel like superman lol Okay - I stand corrected. Would you tell me when you started having the therapy that makes you 'feel like a superman'?
CarrieT Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 It is however, only one factor. Another factor is my highly desirable healthy genes. All women want to produce the healthiest offspring possible, so by procreating with me, it would ensure that the offspring is healthy (I have zero health issues and no family history of major issues), intelligent, good-looking, fit, etc. Of course I would make sure that the wife has the healthiest genes possible too, so I hope she wouldn't mind me checking her and her family's medical history, complete blood work analysis, taking various IQ tests (or if she has graduate education, I can base her intellect on that), and taking various genetic compatibility tests. If you seriously believe women make relationship judgment decisions based on a man's procreative qualities, you are seriously misguided. It may be a minor, sub-conscious factor, but far from a driving quality. The fact that you bring it up so prominently contributes to the belief you are a maladjusted narcissist who is "chasing the ubiquitous unicorn."
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 Okay, I just read your posts from the past. Maybe you should figure out how to simply live life and then how to have a relationship before moving onto the fantastic. Good luck. P.S. Women don't look at men and think "great genes! I wanna have his babies!" Really. 1
Els Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Okay, I just read your posts from the past. Maybe you should figure out how to simply live life and then how to have a relationship before moving onto the fantastic. Good luck. P.S. Women don't look at men and think "great genes! I wanna have his babies!" Really. Well, I'm sure some women do subconsciously (hence the widespread preferences for tall, good-looking, intelligent, etc), but the OP is very deluded in thinking that ANY woman would be so hard up for 'good genes' or that his are so very good that they would override the basic desire of having a mate that is dedicated to her instead of being 'shared'.
Dafa Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 That's not what I'm looking for at all, I can't stand gold-diggers. I do have money, yes, and like to occasionally spoil the girls I date. But it is beyond obvious when a girl likes you for you vs liking you for your money. I am a good judge of character and wouldn't date those kind of girls. Not sure how this is relevant to the thread but I guess some flaws I can name - I am very judgmental, I usually form an opinion about someone very quickly. I am difficult to please, I always want more. I am slightly introverted and not very trusting based on past experiences (there are a lot of jealous haters in the world). Also, I think I'm right 99% of the time and that the majority of people have fairly low intellect. As far as physical attractiveness not much. I guess I wish I was taller than 5'9, but it doesn't really bother me (I've dated girls taller than me). I love this forum, it almost feels like going to a psychiatrist but free lol Is that initial opinion about someone usually right? Or don't you even bother to see if you are right post-evaluation? Owing to my line of work, i meet tons of very intelligent people and one thing i notice that is more or less horizontal to all these people is precisely what you said, i.e., very judgemental and quick to form an opinion. Considering others as dumber than you is also a by-product of your higher-than-average intellect. By definition, if you are higher than average, then you are more intelligent than most people. However, the caveat here is: There are very different types of intelligence and there are alot of very intelligent people that appear intelligent but are not, and vice versa. And also, are you that intelligent? Or is it your academic background that provides you with some notion of intelligence? As far as graduation and academic achievements are concerned, my humble opinion is that Hard work >> intelligence. Nobel prizes, yeah, those are freakishly smart. The average engineer, or lawyer or economist? Not necessarily. Also, in all fairness, there is nothing wrong with thinking that you are right 99% of the time. I had an organic chemistry professor that once said something along these lines: "I get annoyed when people say that i think i'm always right. Of course i think i'm always right! Even if i'm initially wrong, and the other guy is right, then he will convince me thereby making me right once again!". The point is not that you think you are always right, but rather if you are open to TRULY consider other peoples' opinions and change your own accordingly. Anyways, my question was simply to satisfy my curiosity. You clearly have a very high opinion of yourself (fair or not) and i always find interesting to see how people with that trait self-criticize. Thank you for the reply!
stillafool Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Well let's be realistic. Financial problems is a huge reason for the high divorce rate (in some studies I've read it was the #1 reason), so me providing financial security and a certain kind of lifestyle is a pretty major factor. And yet you can't stand gold diggers. You are practically advertising for them. Another factor is my highly desirable healthy genes. All women want to produce the healthiest offspring possible, so by procreating with me, it would ensure that the offspring is healthy (I have zero health issues and no family history of major issues), intelligent, good-looking, fit, etc. There are thousands of men who have the same qualities as you describe above. If a woman is looking for the perfect male to father her child she will choose a man taller than 5'9. Of course I would make sure that the wife has the healthiest genes possible too, so I hope she wouldn't mind me checking her and her family's medical history, complete blood work analysis, taking various IQ tests (or if she has graduate education, I can base her intellect on that), and taking various genetic compatibility tests. Do you really think the woman you describe above would settle for the relationship you have to offer? I think it is doubtful. She would probably have her own career and married to a man who will respect their union. I think I would be a good dad and if me and the wife take a weekend vacation with a girlfriend, I don't consider it as neglecting our kids as some posters have stated (even in normal marriage, it is important to get away from kids on a romantic vacation). So you are not planning on the gf living in the house with you and your wife? Will you buy her a house and give her children as well? Will it be okay for her to date and have sex with other men when she is alone without you?
Recommended Posts