Cristoforo Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Long story short, I've known this girl for 3 years. We actually dated for a few months and I liked her and she liked me but my ex was still in the picture and I had feelings still for my ex so I broke it off with the other girl. It was only fair, I didn't want to lead her on or waste her time. We remained friends over the years and every now and then we get together for drinks and dinner, but its never really a date. We split the bill and we just go to local pubs to grab some quick food and a few beers. Nothing intimate. Well the truth is I still like this girl. My ex is completely out of the picture and I am ready to take a chance with someone new. So last week we went to get a few beers and a bite to eat. We split the tab, but when I dropped her off I asked her if she wanted to go to this nice restaurant near where we live and I told her I wanted it to be my treat. She smiled and said sure and that was really nice of me. So a few days later I texted her and asked her to let me know when she is free this week because I wanted to take her to that restaurant and I told her again that it would be my treat. So three days have passed and I haven't heard back at all. This isn't like her at all. We have been friends for 3 years and she would always text me back, even to tell me that she was busy and couldn't go out. Did I scare her off by telling her I wanted to treat her to dinner? Does she think I asked her on a date and she just isn't interested so she says yes but then ignores me when I follow up? Is there a chance she is just really busy right now and doesn't have time to go out this week? Is there a chance she just didn't get my text message? This is a girl who has never just ignored a text from me. Should I try to contact her again if I don't hear from her by the end of the week? I don't want to seem needy, but I do like the girl. I want to take her out. I'd like to let her know how I feel. We have a history, we dated for 3 months and shared some intimate moments. So what is going on here? Is her ignoring me mean that she isn't interested in going to dinner and having me treat her? This so isn't like her. She is a really nice person who I wouldn't think would just ignore someone. Especially someone who she just hung out with and has been friends with for a while. Oh and I forgot to mention, she doesn't have a BF. At least I'm 99.9% sure of that.
ThingsAreComplicated Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 let's see: Did I scare her off by telling her I wanted to treat her to dinner? -> probably Does she think I asked her on a date and she just isn't interested so she says yes but then ignores me when I follow up? -> absolutely yes Is there a chance she is just really busy right now and doesn't have time to go out this week? -> yes Is there a chance she just didn't get my text message? -> yes Should I try to contact her again if I don't hear from her by the end of the week? -> you can do it but you don't have to, personally I wouldn't do it I don't want to seem needy, but I do like the girl. -> I know you don't want to hear it but...you DO come across needy Is her ignoring me mean that she isn't interested in going to dinner and having me treat her? -> probably
Author Cristoforo Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 (edited) Well I would be shocked if she just flat out ignores me because she's not interested, because we have been friends for 3 years and have dated before! It's not like she's some brand new girl I just met and asked out. Even if she isn't interested in a date, I think she would owe it to me as a friend to let me know rather than ignore me. I mean, we hang out as friends all the time. Does she not even want to be a friend now because I asked her out? I find that hard to believe. Edited July 19, 2012 by Cristoforo
LostGirl11 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Well I would be shocked if she just flat out ignores me because she's not interested, because we have been friends for 3 years and have dated before! It's not like she's some brand new girl I just met and asked out. Even if she isn't interested in a date, I think she would owe it to me as a friend to let me know rather than ignore me. I mean, we hang out as friends all the time. Does she not even want to be a friend now because I asked her out? I find that hard to believe. Breath! Lol, Calm down, I'm sure she'll be in contact. I think you're reading into things a bit too much 1
Author Cristoforo Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 I always just assume the worst I guess. Usually people don't take this long to respond to me, but I guess sometimes people are busy and can't get around to it. Honestly, if she isn't interested in going on a "date" I won't be too upset. I still like the girl as a friend. I just want to know for sure.
LostGirl11 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I always just assume the worst I guess. Usually people don't take this long to respond to me, but I guess sometimes people are busy and can't get around to it. Honestly, if she isn't interested in going on a "date" I won't be too upset. I still like the girl as a friend. I just want to know for sure. There is no way of knowing what she thinking. Just leave her be, she'll be in contact.
ThingsAreComplicated Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I always just assume the worst I guess. Usually people don't take this long to respond to me, but I guess sometimes people are busy and can't get around to it. Honestly, if she isn't interested in going on a "date" I won't be too upset. I still like the girl as a friend. I just want to know for sure. Dude...you wrote about stating your feelings for her, her not having a bf, you are posting in an online forum because she didnt reply to a text message... You are not friends anymore Just go with the flow and see what happens.
Shaun-Dro Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 (edited) Long story short, I've known this girl for 3 years. We actually dated for a few months and I liked her and she liked me but my ex was still in the picture and I had feelings still for my ex so I broke it off with the other girl. It was only fair, I didn't want to lead her on or waste her time. We remained friends over the years and every now and then we get together for drinks and dinner, but its never really a date. We split the bill and we just go to local pubs to grab some quick food and a few beers. Nothing intimate. Well the truth is I still like this girl. My ex is completely out of the picture and I am ready to take a chance with someone new. So last week we went to get a few beers and a bite to eat. We split the tab, but when I dropped her off I asked her if she wanted to go to this nice restaurant near where we live and I told her I wanted it to be my treat. She smiled and said sure and that was really nice of me. So a few days later I texted her and asked her to let me know when she is free this week because I wanted to take her to that restaurant and I told her again that it would be my treat. So three days have passed and I haven't heard back at all. This isn't like her at all. We have been friends for 3 years and she would always text me back, even to tell me that she was busy and couldn't go out. Did I scare her off by telling her I wanted to treat her to dinner? Does she think I asked her on a date and she just isn't interested so she says yes but then ignores me when I follow up? Is there a chance she is just really busy right now and doesn't have time to go out this week? Is there a chance she just didn't get my text message? This is a girl who has never just ignored a text from me. Should I try to contact her again if I don't hear from her by the end of the week? I don't want to seem needy, but I do like the girl. I want to take her out. I'd like to let her know how I feel. We have a history, we dated for 3 months and shared some intimate moments. So what is going on here? Is her ignoring me mean that she isn't interested in going to dinner and having me treat her? This so isn't like her. She is a really nice person who I wouldn't think would just ignore someone. Especially someone who she just hung out with and has been friends with for a while. Oh and I forgot to mention, she doesn't have a BF. At least I'm 99.9% sure of that. Your thread keeps going around in circles. The simple thing to do is to just follow up with a second text or better yet, a phone call. What's with some men these days? Edited July 19, 2012 by Shaun-Dro missed a space
pteromom Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 If you've been friends with her for three years, I think you can call her or go visit her and see what's up. It's not like it was a first date and you don't know her.
Author Cristoforo Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Gonna call her this weekend and either tell her directly or her voicemail that I still want to take her to dinner and I intend it to be a date. If I don't hear back after that, I move on. Sound like a good idea?
sid3 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Who cares? Ouch! Sounds like the OP does. What a heartless comment.
Author Cristoforo Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Who cares? Obviously you cared enough to respond. Now go away.
josation218 Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Who cares? I felt that in my guts... Looks like somebody hasn't gotten any in a while .. If you are commenting on the thread, that means that you do care. If you wouldn't care you wouldn't had say anything ..
betterdeal Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 There is a chance she didn't get your text, or she did and maybe feels a bit uncomfortable about it, or is waiting for you to call, or lost her phone, or ran out of credit, or any number of things. Don't panic! It's not bad to have feelings for someone, and who knows? Maybe she does feel something similar. If so, great! If she doesn't feel the same as you do, it's not the end of the world - you can swallow your pride and maintain the friendship if that's what you want to do I do recommend discussing them face to face rather than by text. That is kind of the point of relationships, isn't it? Being together and being intimate with each other.
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