katmandu Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 Here's a tragic little story I need some help with ! So a nearly three year relationship and engagement just about ten months ago my fiance broke it off and moved back to new orleans. Facts money got tight and we had a fire in our building we had to move temporarily into my parents house. She was begging me to get a bar job to help us , but I had a ton of cleints "that were ready to buy" (pride I know) She weet on a "2-1/2 week trip" to NO and Broke it off on day four from down there. ( she is living with her divorced friend, who I know has a single white female complex) Over the first three months after the break up we were still in contact but she seemed to be slipping away ( I begged I cried I sent letters of love - I wish I found this site first!)- it went from one day to three and then she was definatly moving away - after asking me to move her stuff out of my house into storage - it was pretty much dead no contact initiated from her. On our meeting on the day she came back to move she spouted stuff like -- I dont want to spend my life like that" " I don't miss the intimacy" "I was so angry at you." She has kept the ring -I asked for it back to sell to pay off her debts - (really I think she sold it) I did F*** up the "no contact rule" by text messaging her on the fourth. And I found a box of old photos ( oh yea I think another ex was in the photos(had to look) and a serving bowl - so I convently placed a few photos from the engagement party and the last birthday card ( 2weeks before break up) that says she loves me and wants to spend many more birthdays with me - with a little note that said -- I miss this woman who wrote this. ( i'm sure that pissed her off_ adding months to my timeline) So what the hell happened - did she freak because we were broke, she saw no future. Its not like I didn't have a job-- I just didn't want to work at a bar. Did the fire trigger her homesickness - immaturity? IS her heart locked cold if she's signing emails "take care"? I'm so remorseful about not being able to support her - but I would take her back - I have even applied to jobs in new orleans. ????????????
HokeyReligions Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 If she really loved you AND your priorities were in line, she would not have left you. For some people, financial security and projected earnings are at the top of their list. If those requirements are not met, it becomes a deal-breaker. There is nothing wrong with that in and of itself. The problem is if they don't tell their partner that is how their priorities fall out. It take two to discuss and communicate and to make sure that priorities are in sync. Sounds like its time for you to move on. Know your own priorities in your life and what you demand and would like in a relationship and make sure and discuss these with future relationships.
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