AlexanderJames Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Post #9. Sounds like you're angry at yourself to me.. Do you excersize? If not find a gym and go there every day. 90 - 120 mins of hard excersize will work you wonders. Alternatively you could stick a picture of his face to a punching bag and go nuts until you have no energy left I'd hate to think how agressive I would be if I didnt lift weights every day. Might not work for all but you say you have a blast and enjoy being single, and you go out all the time and have fun. So do I, and since my breakup I havent been worn my angry pants for more than a day. Even when my ex pushed me over the edge. And im notorious for being angry and hot headed so if its not exersize thats keeping me calm I dont know what it is haha.
AlexanderJames Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Damn, someone beat me to the fitness card... Laaaame. But like ruby said it really works. And it builds confidence and makes you healthy + more appealing to the opposite sex.
Author KatZee Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 Post #9. Sounds like you're angry at yourself to me.. Do you excersize? If not find a gym and go there every day. 90 - 120 mins of hard excersize will work you wonders. Alternatively you could stick a picture of his face to a punching bag and go nuts until you have no energy left I'd hate to think how agressive I would be if I didnt lift weights every day. Might not work for all but you say you have a blast and enjoy being single, and you go out all the time and have fun. So do I, and since my breakup I havent been worn my angry pants for more than a day. Even when my ex pushed me over the edge. And im notorious for being angry and hot headed so if its not exersize thats keeping me calm I dont know what it is haha. I probably should start some sort of working out. I don't work out no... I'm the laziest piece... EVER! But yeah, the last time my ex contacted me I tore his as* a new one. And I feel I can still do that right now. Endorphins, endorphins! I wrote it above, I'd LOVE to get into jujitsu. And I did buy some hot yoga package on LivingSocial... but for now... as I sit on my couch... being a bum... I may just pop in some Just Dance for the Wii
AlexanderJames Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I probably should start some sort of working out. I don't work out no... I'm the laziest piece... EVER! But yeah, the last time my ex contacted me I tore his as* a new one. And I feel I can still do that right now. Endorphins, endorphins! I wrote it above, I'd LOVE to get into jujitsu. And I did buy some hot yoga package on LivingSocial... but for now... as I sit on my couch... being a bum... I may just pop in some Just Dance for the Wii It helps in lots of ways. Builds discipline, character, decreases depression, releases stress, improves fitness. Jujitsu will give you skills to keep yourself safe too! Yep two nights ago for the first time since the breakup I lashed out at my ex. Don't think she'd actually ever heard me swear AT her before. She got me real angry. I have a thread about it on here haha /: But I was only angry for that night, got it all out and felt great again the next day. All because of weights training Dancing is great fun Go nuts.
peacrow Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I think I'm also angry that I wasn't the one to end it. I just kept sticking it out when I should have just listened to my gut, and have paid attention to the red flags when they kept coming up. But no. I'm just too damn nice and continued to allow him to do what he was doing. Oh, KatZee. I could have written this and your first post. I am so, so angry at myself for not continuing to see my ex when I wasn't really into him, when I finally fell for him but things weren't sitting right, when he started to criticize and demean me, blow me off, all but outright call me stupid and tasteless. I stayed. Reconciled after a breakup. Continued to stay, and he ended up dumping me. And then I continued to sleep with him. Some people are so manipulative that it's hard to see what is happening while it is happening. And then when it is hindsight, you can see it so clearly, and you feel like a fool. You feel like you allowed someone to disrespect your core values, who you thought yourself to be: a strong, independent person. I feel so bad about letting myself down. But you and I both need to realize that deceitful people, emotionally manipulative and abusive people, know exactly what they are doing to you. They are playing you, and then tire of you. We should be glad our exes left us. I had a hard time accepting that my ex was emotionally manipulative in relationships simply because he really hadn't been in a relationship before. He hadn't really even dated. But I see now that he even though he hadn't had the opportunity to display his true colors in a romantic relationship that he was emotionally distant and cold to everyone in his life, manipulative and deceitful as the situation called for it, to friends (what few he had, and no female friends, imagine that!) and family members.
Author KatZee Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Oh, KatZee. I could have written this and your first post. I am so, so angry at myself for not continuing to see my ex when I wasn't really into him, when I finally fell for him but things weren't sitting right, when he started to criticize and demean me, blow me off, all but outright call me stupid and tasteless. I stayed. Reconciled after a breakup. Continued to stay, and he ended up dumping me. And then I continued to sleep with him. Some people are so manipulative that it's hard to see what is happening while it is happening. And then when it is hindsight, you can see it so clearly, and you feel like a fool. You feel like you allowed someone to disrespect your core values, who you thought yourself to be: a strong, independent person. I feel so bad about letting myself down. But you and I both need to realize that deceitful people, emotionally manipulative and abusive people, know exactly what they are doing to you. They are playing you, and then tire of you. We should be glad our exes left us. I had a hard time accepting that my ex was emotionally manipulative in relationships simply because he really hadn't been in a relationship before. He hadn't really even dated. But I see now that he even though he hadn't had the opportunity to display his true colors in a romantic relationship that he was emotionally distant and cold to everyone in his life, manipulative and deceitful as the situation called for it, to friends (what few he had, and no female friends, imagine that!) and family members. I feel you. My ex never outright called me stupid, or was directly abusive, but it was all on the underlying level. And what's WORSE is that he plays the "i'm a good guy card" and EVERYONE loves him. He puts on this fantastic show of being so respectful and caring, and loving, and generous, and that's how he is on a superficial level. In his relationships whether it be his friends or how he was with me, it was EXTREMELY superficial, and then I got to know him on a deeper level and I started seeing him for what he TRULY is... liar, cheater... he would be one person when we were out with his friends, and then we'd go back to his house and he'd say things about them. Things that if he crossed me the wrong way I'd have no problem spilling to anyone. Things that would probably shock his friends. When I confided in mutual friends he had cheated, they were flat out SHOCKED. They were like.... "HE did that???! HE did?!" as if it were some sort of impossibility that he could do something so low and horrible. That just wasn't his character! (Or so I thought). Even now, I feel like what he's telling his friends and family is just not the reality of what went on and I'm sure he's spinning things to make HIM out to be some sort of victim, because that's who he is. He's the best person in the world! He can do no wrong! That's what I hate most. That he puts up this gigantic facade, and I truly feel like no one knows who he is underneath that super shiny superficial level. It disgusts me that I know what he's done to me, that I know things he's said, things he's done, and if I went to someone and told them these things, they'd look at me as if I had two heads. As if it is an impossibility for him to have done that.
peacrow Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Oh, I hate wondering what he's telling his family and friends. I met his whole family and several of his friends; more than one of them told me I was "too nice" for him. His mother and sister included. (It might be a red flag if your mother tells your new girlfriend that you are an "a**h*le"!) So, I don't know how he's going to paint me now. I'm sure he's telling everyone I am insane, or irrational, or boring. I may have seemed like those things when I was with him, but only because he beat me down to think those things and never made me feel like he really wanted to be with me. Of course, putting far more emotional energy into a relationship than one is receiving is going to make a person panic, hold on too tightly and try to gain a little control over the situation.
Author KatZee Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 Oh, I hate wondering what he's telling his family and friends. I met his whole family and several of his friends; more than one of them told me I was "too nice" for him. His mother and sister included. (It might be a red flag if your mother tells your new girlfriend that you are an "a**h*le"!) So, I don't know how he's going to paint me now. I'm sure he's telling everyone I am insane, or irrational, or boring. I may have seemed like those things when I was with him, but only because he beat me down to think those things and never made me feel like he really wanted to be with me. Of course, putting far more emotional energy into a relationship than one is receiving is going to make a person panic, hold on too tightly and try to gain a little control over the situation. I was the same way! I went from a carefree, drama-free, independent, sane individual into some crazy person who was always desperate for his attention, needy, pathetic little thing. I was always insecure, never felt good enough! He made me feel that way about myself as well. Totally not healthy.
AlexanderJames Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Sound like you're relieved to be free once again. Good for you, enjoy this high as long as you can, you're seeing things how they are.
Recommended Posts