whywhy Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Ive been posting here for a few days and it's helps sometimes to get through the day. Why is it so hard in the mornings when I wake up. I go through the day and some hours I'm ok and some I'm miserable. I wake in the am freaking out and literily shaking and can't fall back asleep, so I'll get up and go run for hours, sometimes as early as 4 am. It hurts so bad. I've dated her for 5 years and can't think of any past memories of life or future without her. It's not like I'm 15 years old etc, I'm a 27 year old business professional but I see myself as a coward for crying 10 times a day
Mary Oak Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I have the same feelings. Morning and nights are the hardest. BUt, the in between time sucks too. I don't know how to get rid of the dreams of the future either. That is such an evil trick your mind plays. I wish I had some words of advice. BUt, one thing I know is you are not alone, and so many people feel like this. I am 42 and cry constantly. Then, you wonder, are they crying too? Did I matter enough to them? BUt, I guess none of that matters. Everyone says to keep busy, but it is such an EFFORT to do anything. I guess keeping busy just makes time pass, and with time you heal, I guess. My thing is I know I will always have these feelings of love, respect , in love and admiration for her. SO, I don't know what to do with those feelings if my behavior can't show them. I don't know where to "store" them. Keep your head up. ANd literally take it one moment at a time. I make lists of things I want to get accomplished that day. Even small things, like putting away laundry. Then when I can check that off, it makes me feel better. Good luck!
Author whywhy Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 Mary oak, yea, I don't wish these feelings on my worst enemy. I have no desire to eat, sleep etc. I'm actually nervous about my weight loss. I'll try the list thing, maybe it will help. Thank you for the response
klowzure Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Consider your life whywhy, you only live one, and getting through this is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever do.. So consider doing something even harder... like the French Foreign Legion.
Author whywhy Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 Consider your life whywhy, you only live one, and getting through this is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever do.. So consider doing something even harder... like the French Foreign Legion. I know, we I am spoiled in the US etc, but I see my American dream and life gone without her. I guess my running is my way of something harder. When i put my body through this it feels like I am accomplishing something.
klowzure Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I know, we I am spoiled in the US etc, but I see my American dream and life gone without her. I guess my running is my way of something harder. When i put my body through this it feels like I am accomplishing something. the legion loves to run
Ruby65 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Running is a wonderful way to get through the early days of a breakup! Exercise is just about the best thing you could be doing right now. And crying serves a purpose as well -- did you know it alters your brain chemistry and actually helps you recover from pain? There's no shame in it. I know it's hard to imagine a future that doesn't include this girl..... but in time you'll adjust and realize the future is as vast and bright as it ever was, with her or without her. Five years ago I went through a break up and literally woke up the next morning unable to envision a future at all.... all our plans and dreams were gone, it felt like there was nothing left for me but emptiness and pain. Now so much of my life has changed for the better -- I'm actually GRATEFUL for that past breakup, even with all the pain I went through, because since then I've met someone I'm much happier with. You won't feel the way you're feeling right now forever. Five years is a long time but you had a life and an identity as a single person before you met her..... and you'll have one again.... it'll start to come more and more into focus as you gradually recover from this breakup. In time the anxiety will lessen and your sleeping and eating patterns will normalize. You'll start to feel more and more like your normal self, but it takes time. You WILL feel hope, optimism, have new dreams, make new plans -- and even fall in love again! 1
QQsus Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Nice post ruby, and whywhy take care yourself. Im in similar situation right now. Glad I found this site where I can put some of my toughts. Im so lonely right now without any good friends who I can talk. But I myself found also sports activies which I try hard to keep going on. Every day some sort of exercise to work on and keeping precision book on that so I cant cheat any way myself and also blogging about it.
Mcnulty Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 You have your health and you're using that to your advantage, so pat yourself on the back for that. I have not got my health, can do no exercise, can hardly walk at the moment...health for you is your starting block...I wish you luck and strength.
JesseMartin Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Whywhy, It hurts now, and it will for a while, but take solace in this, the pain will gradually become less and less over time. Millions of men have gone through similar experiences and many come out on the other side, better stronger men, I know I have. Running is AWESOME and was one of the tools that worked best for me during my break up. Another one is eating healthy, getting sun light, and going to new places. These things trigger your dopamine pathways in your brain, which are responsible for your feelings pertaining to feeling good. Make sure you've got support from friends and family, talking about your break up will have a therapeutic effect. Also, it is good to be reminded that you are loved. More than anything, this is a time to focus on YOU. Start taking up new stuff, go new places, keep exercising, keep processing your emotions by talking about them (but don't bore people with your story constantly). Good luck my friend, and keep us up to date
Author whywhy Posted July 21, 2012 Author Posted July 21, 2012 Thank you Jessie. I appreciate the support. I have great friends and family but it's the alone time that absolutely kills me. I'm trying but it's so hard
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