Kofybean Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 In reading these threads I notice a common theme: Men will state a situation in dating they deem unfair, or something women do in dating that they feel is wrong, and 100% of women will disagree and justify the actions. How is that possible? For example, when someone brings up something men do that is wrong, there will typically be men on both sides of the issue, some siding with the poster, others siding against. When someone brings up misgivings from women (albeit, non-egregious actions like cheating or murder), there will still be men on both sides of the issue, but women will all be on the "alls fair in love and war" side. How is it possible that women in these boards think they have zero unacceptable social actions in dating? Are there counter examples? 1
Enema Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 You're totally wrong of course. Example: Paying for the first date. A lot of men say it's a deal breaker if the woman doesn't even offer to pay for something on the first or second date. There's a fair number of women on both sides of the argument. /thread
monkey00 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 How is it possible that women in these boards think they have zero unacceptable social actions in dating? Are there counter examples? Maybe it's just the pedestal effect. In real life that's how women bond also, by supporting each other socially. What your describe happens exactly IRL also. There are definitely women that are able to see 2 sides of 1 coin, but those types are far in few - and this is more likely with level-headed mature women. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'
Janesays Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Of course. Rudeness. Answering phone calls or texts in a non emergency situation. Chewing with mouth open. Excessive lateness. Leading the man on when not interested. Jeez, I could go and on.
january2011 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Yup, giving second, third, fourth, fifth chances, etc. I guess everyone loves an optimist. But perhaps not when they're a masochist. 1
Author Kofybean Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 Social situations are often situations with unwritten rules. Common courtesy (passing gas, rudeness, gross behavior) is pretty standard across the board and well document throughout society as bad. Using people, leading them on, things with clearly defined marks of good and bad are not what I am outlining because I did not see those kinds of threads. Are you all saying, the only unaccetable behaviors women can do in dating are obvious rude behavior? Outside of that, whatever women do is fully justfied?
Author Kofybean Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 You're totally wrong of course. Example: Paying for the first date. Well, I saw that thread, wasn't it started by a woman complaining about her man? What do you mean both sides of the debate? The debate was that her boyfriend wasn't paying for her like he should. Perhaps I should give specific examples, ok glancing at the threads... Complaint found on board: men don't like being judged for their jobs, height, alph male status. Um, they feel women have it easier in dating, and an unfair advantage by having more options. Are there women stating that women are wrong for judging men for their height, jobs, or status? Do some women feel that yes they have it easier in dating, or an unfir advantage by having more options? Just wondering how there isn't a mix of debates. What its like is a political debate where democrats defend democrats or republicans defend republicans regardless of the issue.
zengirl Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I don't see a lot of women defending bad behavior. Some, maybe, but some men certainly do as well. I do see far less "Men do X" threads than "Women do X" threads (some of both, of course). I think there's a big difference between saying, "I dated a woman/man who did ___________________ (insert unacceptable behavior) - isn't that awful" and saying "Women/men do __________________." A huge difference, a world of difference. I don't see too many threads where a guy lists a specific woman's specific bad actions and then women are all defensive. They may point out things he hadn't considered, but that happens when a woman posts a specific thread with specific bad actions from a specific guy too. (And there are just some jerks of either gender who will kick people while they're down.) There are women on all (not just both, as it's generally a more dynamic issue) of the paying for dates debate and, frankly, men on all sides, if that is the one we're using. Just read through the pinned thread to see that. Of course, there are some women who exhibit some bad behaviors, and some men who exhibit some bad behaviors, but I think one of the worst behaviors you can do is saying, "Men do X" or "Women do X" when there are many men or women out there that DON'T exhibit that behavior. 1
Kamille Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Flip the script Koffy. It's a select few misogynists (drink up lads!) posters who consistently feel men can do no wrong. I see a few guys spout the same threads over and over again about how women are everything that is wrong with dating today. I don't see the equivalent about men. Can these men do no wrong? Can't they take responsibility for their own dating experiences, instead of constantly blaming half the population?
Kamille Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Are there women stating that women are wrong for judging men for their height, jobs, or status? No, because as a women compatibility matters a lot more to me than height, job or status. The premiss is wrong, therefore I cannot agree or disagree with it. Do some women feel that yes they have it easier in dating, or an unfir advantage by having more options? There's a huge debate about that one, but yes, I certainly feel I have it easier than the guys who are extremely angry at women. I do know a few guys here who seem to have it easier than me, so it's the generalization I take issue with. I probably date as much as the complainers do and face as many challenges as they do, but at least it doesn't affect how I feel about myself. What its like is a political debate where democrats defend democrats or republicans defend republicans regardless of the issue. Exactly. The misogynists (drink up!) defend each other and the women argue with them. So why, again, do you think it's up to the women to change and not both groups? Are you blind to your own prejudice? 1
El Brujo Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Flip the script Koffy. It's a select few misogynists (drink up lads!) posters who consistently feel men can do no wrong. I see a few guys spout the same threads over and over again about how women are everything that is wrong with dating today. I don't see the equivalent about men. Can these men do no wrong? Can't they take responsibility for their own dating experiences, instead of constantly blaming half the population? That's because the men who post that kind of crap are typical beer-guzzling louts.
sally4sara Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Something I've noticed...... When a relationship, no matter how brief, goes pear shaped some will sooth themselves with the idea that the other person is flawed in some irreparable way. "They're just not relationship material" is a phrase I'm sure we've all heard or thought about someone. But I tell ya, I've seen too many times that this is rarely true. One person's trash is another person's treasure. They were not relationship material FOR YOU. There is only unacceptable behavior to you and you need to figure out for yourself what that behavior is. This is applicable to anyone about any gender. But what you dismiss as unacceptable might just be what someone else thinks is wonderful. It can sometimes seem impossible - I watched a guy pluck a hair from his date's head to floss with after dinner on their 3rd date. He didn't even ask "pardon me but may I have one of your long hairs to floss with?". Nope! Pluck! and right to flossing. They were friggen married less than a year later! 3 years later they were divorcing because he cheated and he and the new girl wanted to be together. Some strange turn of events? Lady #2 a few years after that left him and before she could move out of their home - he was already in an exclusive relationship with a 3rd one! That's three ladies who accepted someone I would have never spoken to again. Go figure? 3
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 What matters is what's acceptable to you when you're on a date. Figure that out. 1
Kamille Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 It's called vaginal solidarity. And what are you currently doing? Phallic solidarity? 1
DreamerDeceiver Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Of course. Rudeness. Answering phone calls or texts in a non emergency situation. Chewing with mouth open. Excessive lateness. Leading the man on when not interested. Jeez, I could go and on. Flirting with the waiter with her tounge and lips. Sure was a real eye-opener, lol.
amantis Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Women in general are the ones who can start a relationship very easy just by saying yes to a guy , but then the guys have it easy when they are in a relationship because women fall in love very quick and its the men who fk the relationship . Then we have the women who was in a relationship with a stupid guy , then you have the guys who didnt even get a chance with them .. put the together and you have loveshack
Author Kofybean Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 (edited) Flip the script Koffy. It's a select few misogynists ... What a headache. Its like you can't read, or lack reading comprehension. Or just going through several post responding really fast in a generic way. Your post make no sense because they aren't about anything, just random spouts. You feel as though there are only two types of people here, misogynist and women, which almost made me not even waste time responding to you because you do not comprehend the subject. But in case anyone else has something to say, why is it there are misogynists (word you all use here to mean men) who post on both sides of all issues, but women who only post on one side. Edited July 24, 2012 by Kofybean
Author Kofybean Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 I don't see a lot of women defending bad behavior.... You mean to tell me that when you see a thread of men complaining about something women do, which is bad behavior in their eyes, you DON'T at all see a lot of women defending it? Is that what your statement means?
musemaj11 Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Men are rational and women are emotional. Men think and women feel. This is why women are often hard to reason with. For example its far easier to convince a man that he needs to do his share of household chores when the woman also works than it is to convince a woman that she needs to do her share of paying on dates when she has as much money as the man. Rationality vs Emotion. Two very different drives.
todreaminblue Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 What a headache. Its like you can't read, or lack reading comprehension. Or just going through several post responding really fast in a generic way. Your post make no sense because they aren't about anything, just random spouts. You feel as though there are only two types of people here, misogynist and women, which almost made me not even waste time responding to you because you do not comprehend the subject. But in case anyone else has something to say, why is it there are misogynists (word you all use here to mean men) who post on both sides of all issues, but women who only post on one side. A misogynist can be either male or female.There are all types of them on this board. women who hate other women, men who hate women ,a misandrist apparently hates men. Had to look up the definitions I never had to use the words.You learn soemthing new everyday.I also think I personally,am a masochistic philanderer so add that to the list of types of people. With all the hate it's hard to comprehend anything isn't it. Hate clouds judgement and confuses minds. Causes people to do or say things they wouldn't even think of, if hate weren't present.That truly causes headaches.Hate has that effect.
Radu Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Constantly late, playing games, texting others heavily while on date. Most of these can be applied to men too. There is a certain cathegory of women that i became aware off recently that it annoys me, though it applies to men too. There are some women out there who cultivate this smug look on their faces, confusing it with 'wily smile'. It's usually easy to spot, because the eyes are not smiling, the smile is forced, almost like a grin, but she doesn't have it from time to time, it's like she tries to be like that in every damn situation. The women i saw who had this were very succesfull in their professional lives or were doing very good in school. I never actually became aware of this at a conscious level untill recently, but they always made me ... be weary of them. I have a distant cousin who is like this, and i was recently informed that her married life is full of drama [she's a serial cheater and her husband makes very little].
Author Kofybean Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 ...A misogynist can be either male or female.There are all types of them on this board. women who hate other women, men who hate women ,a misandrist apparently hates men. ... WHen I read and study these post, I don't care as much for the actual argument as I do for the stances people take on them, and why. Is it because of hate, bitterness, what clouds their judgement, what makes them so high and mighty? I read to see which guys take which stances on issues, try to understand what their backgrounds are etc... why guy A feels one way and why guy B feels another. The frustrating problem for me is that I see why girl A feels one way, but finding a girl B is very difficult. Not to mention shocking, because society tends to think women have more empathy and should be able to see other peoples points of view.
Kamille Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 (edited) Fortunately, not all men posting here are misogynists. But there is a group of misogynists who have found their niche here and who start thread after thread complaining about women, venting with each other. You are one of them and we all know it. The misogynists have never shown any empathy for women here. Both men and women of LS show a capacity to be accountable for their actions. That you can't see it only indicates that you're here to troll with your fellow misogynists friends. Have fun. LS is a haven for you! You might want to start a thread about hurting women, how stupid they are, how irrational they are, etc. All tolerated here on LS. The fact women constantly get attacked on his website makes it particularly hard for anyone with an ounce of common sense to take your assessment of women's lack of accountability seriously. Edited July 27, 2012 by Kamille 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I think I know what you mean, OP. Example: a guy says he dumped his gf because she's had sex with too many guys. Some male posters will say he's right. Some male posters will say he's wrong. Then it looks like all female posters say he's wrong. So while men are divided on the issue, women appear to be unanimous. I agree. That's what it looks like but not always what it is. Many times there are women who disagree with what other women are saying but they do not voice it. Why? Because they'll get cut down for disagreeing with other women. I've seen this on LS alone dozens of times: A woman will virtually say, "I agree with what the men are saying." The other women will cut her down saying, "I really don't like listening to such women. They really tend to post a lot of idiotic things." And post some really personal attacks. Then the woman who agreed with the men will virtually disappear from the thread. It basically comes down to female relationships, which means go along with other women: if you throw out a dissenting opinion you'll risk getting cut down by another woman and ostracized from the group. As a result, you got other women who don't necessarily agree with an issue keeping silent or pretending to agree. 1
Radu Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I think I know what you mean, OP. Example: a guy says he dumped his gf because she's had sex with too many guys. Some male posters will say he's right. Some male posters will say he's wrong. Then it looks like all female posters say he's wrong. So while men are divided on the issue, women appear to be unanimous. I agree. That's what it looks like but not always what it is. Many times there are women who disagree with what other women are saying but they do not voice it. Why? Because they'll get cut down for disagreeing with other women. I've seen this on LS alone dozens of times: A woman will virtually say, "I agree with what the men are saying." The other women will cut her down saying, "I really don't like listening to such women. They really tend to post a lot of idiotic things." And post some really personal attacks. Then the woman who agreed with the men will virtually disappear from the thread. It basically comes down to female relationships, which means go along with other women: if you throw out a dissenting opinion you'll risk getting cut down by another woman and ostracized from the group. As a result, you got other women who don't necessarily agree with an issue keeping silent or pretending to agree. Spot on, if you want to look more into it, go into evolutionary psychology and emotional intelligence development for boys and girls.
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