cerebra876324 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I recently met this great girl online. We're very similar in age and careers, and live about two hours apart. We are both recently out of relationships, and we decided that we would email for a month, then talk/text for a month, then meet in person. The email month was amazing, we really hit it off. The texting and phone calls/Skype were great as well. We emailed multiple times a day, then began texting all day, etc. Recently we had our first date and I am a bit puzzled. She was out of town on a two week work assignment, but mentioned that she would be free on the weekend in between the two weeks. So, I sent flowers to her hotel room the day before the date, then made dinner reservations for the night I was to arrive. I also had a hotel for that night since I knew it would be a late night. I picked her up and we had a nice dinner (I was a little nervous, but ok). We drove around some, got ice cream, then decided to go back to my hotel to hang out (this was a Friday night). We talked, then made out for a while. It was great! She was exactly like I thought she would be in person. We decided to begin dating. She was unsure of how much time she would have free the following day due to work, so I drove her back to her hotel not knowing what the next day (Saturday) would bring. She texted me around 11am saying that she was busy and that, then texted again saying it would be 5pm. I had already booked another night in my hotel hoping we could do something that evening at this point. Then I get a text saying that she would be busy all night but I could pick her up for ice cream. I did that, then took her back to her hotel (like a 30 minute drive one way from my hotel). When I dropped her off, she gave me the vibe that this was the last time I would see her, and that it would be three weeks until we could do something again due to her schedule. I was devastated, since she had implied we could spend some time together that day. I had spent a lot of money on two nights in hotels, dinner, flowers, etc. I went back to my hotel and she texted late that night that we could do something the next day (Sunday). I woke up that morning, then again got a text that she would again be busy all day. I decided to head for home. Later she texts me a picture of her lunch... Why didn't she ask me to join her for lunch? I'm just very confused. I also had purchased tickets for a Saturday-only event, that we didn't go to and I lost $40 on tickets. Tonight she texts me a picture of her going to that same event with work friends! Also this week we've gone from texting throughout the day to her just texting me at night and in the morning when she gets up, but I get a few a day although we've talked on the phone each night. She says she is super busy this week. She also isn't sending emails anymore. I've got a bad vibe about this. She's kind of been a different person. But her texts still say "miss you" and "thinking about you" and "you're so cute/hot/etc". We both are super attracted to each other, so that's not the problem. We've both also had several previous relationships. I think she's a great person, I'm just getting some weird mixed signals! I'm so confused!! Help!!!
SwissCheese Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I wonder if she is just trying not to seem too eager.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 21, 2012 Posted July 21, 2012 I like your collective instincts toward evolving toward the first meeting. I'm mildly wondering who among her coworkers saw the flowers you sent, and then perhaps grilled her mercilessly about you. Wait until she isn't "busy" and then share a more significant date/activity. Whatever you do, don't go overboard with groveling and whining about your perception that things have deteriorated from the eager anticipation you once perceived. NOR is it a good idea to mention all of the money you spent earlier. Be patient, and be sure that she truly is fully 'available' for the next shared evening you plan.
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