edwards99 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 after my ex pretty much broke up with me in aprill n moved out july 1st... she within a few days ago said she want us to keep trying..but wants baby steps..talk first..and see how it goes..at first i was gung ho...i love her very much..didnt want her to leave..but then i became pissy as we didnt seem to be talking as much as i wanted..she had her phone turned off so we only convo through email..and sometimes thats once a day or even once in two or three days..i contsantly want to be talking to her..n feel like i am more into her or love her more because its seems i want this but she says thats not accurate..just wants to go slow...what do i do now..i dont want to wait around incase this works out..but i do. .its like my life is on hold....like we are teatering on a fence..i love her n miss her s much.. i want a life with her so badly..she knows i want her now..in my life..but keesp saying se wants to take it slow..fix things...so we will hae a better chance...but how do we do that like this.
SeventhFloor Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I'm sorry for your pain. You guys aren't together, so you should start taking time to do things to better yourself: go to the gym, hang out with friends, live a fun life so that if/when your ex is "ready" to take baby steps, you can be a better person in the relationship. Though you shouldn't expect anything.
Jason02 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 "Let's take is slow" means I'll try when i want to, and when i don't want to don't expect me to call or be around. Trust me. I've been there. You can only last so long before you realize that a relationship is a two way street. you can't do everthing on your own. eventually you'll just snap and give up. for me i thought take is slow meant she was going to try, but she wasn't going to give it an honest chance so i didn't have much to work with. sad reality of life 1
lemonlime Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Thats not always true. I think it really depends on why you guys broke up. If you did something to hurt her, or break her trust, she may really want to take things slow to make sure the same thing doesnt happen again. Or if she felt there was something really wrong, but still loves you, she may just want to know things are different before she jumps back into the water.
Author edwards99 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 iys the last few sentences..things werent great..she says she still loves me but wants us to be stronger..n more put together......thus is what she says anyways...im afraid of tge backburner tho
ScienceGal Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 She broke up with you in April but didn't move out until July? If things were going to be repaired don't you think that would've happened in that 3 month window? Things are magically going to get better now. I'm not sure what the reason for the break up was, but she's probably scared since moving out and will string you along as long as you let her. Really think about why you separated and determine if it can be fixed, but do not be a doormat.
eltsac Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Hi mate, To be honest - you should really give her all the space she says she needs and more. If you constantly want to talk to her and all, then you are coming across as needy and to be honest a bit too fearful of what is going to happen and not independent enough. Go out, do your thing, hit the gym as some say and just hang out with friends and stuff. Don't contact her unless she contacts you - trust me, she'll wonder what you're doing - and you'll get a new sense of independence and freedom that you probably need. I'm not here to judge you, I don't know your character etc., but try and get her off your mind and find yourself a bit and try not to think that she is the one thing that makes you happy - there is so much out there! If you do this and go your own way a bit, whilst responding when she gets in touch only, she'll come back, you'll feel better about yourself and would have developed a bit as a person. If she doesn't come back you would have likely met some new people, new experiences and are ready to find that next girl! Trust me, life is all about experiences, growing and evolving as a person.
ScienceGal Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 She broke up with you in April but didn't move out until July? If things were going to be repaired don't you think that would've happened in that 3 month window? Things are magically going to get better now. I'm not sure what the reason for the break up was, but she's probably scared since moving out and will string you along as long as you let her. Really think about why you separated and determine if it can be fixed, but do not be a doormat. I meant things "aren't" going to magically get better.
Author edwards99 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 you are all completelty right..i was moddy at stuff on my mind..suppossably in that window i was suppossed to try ad get help..change my ways..she held out till july incase so we could patch things..ive since got a therapist..n maing headway like i didnt think possible.. istac..thanks to you....i am doing just that..its so hard not to email her as in my mind she wont wonder but just go on with her own life..wich isnt what i want..i want her life to be with me as i wat mine to be with her...but im trying..thx all..i really truly app the help.
loyalty Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 she only wants to communicate through email and texts im sorry but sounds phony if she wanted you she'd be there bro believe me i been in your spot, it sounds as if she just wants to keep you straggling along as an option in case the grass isnt greener or what ever doesnt work out. Do the opposite as hard is it may be tell her this hurts you to much to just communicate this way as you miss conversation and her warmth next to you and this just isnt somthing you can deal with, you cant put your life on hold for someone to decide whether they want you or not cause if she did she be at your side working it out. let her go tell her to find her way if she loves you shell be back, cut off communication and move on if she loves she will iniate contact
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