I feel awful for people who arent attractive enough to get someone their attracted to

[SteveC80]

You see it and hear it from people in relationships even married who are with people they know arent that good looking and theyre not that physically attracted to them and dont feel great lust but marry for emotional support and i wonder how can somebody go through a relationship and have ex with somebody they arent physically attracted to?

 

I know the alternative is being alone but id honestly rather be alone the rest of my life if i couldnt be with someone im overly attracted to then have sex with somebody who does nothing for me physically,i need that animal lust want to rip their clothes off as do most people

 

Emotional support is cool and a need in a relationship but without that animal lust its not the same i feel bad for people who can only get into relationships for emotional support and arent in lust with their partner because its all they can get with their level of attractiveness i dont know how they do it

[Quest4_TheLost]

Sexual attraction dosen't just come from appearance..

 

What I feel sry for is ppl like you who can't get past looks to see a persons personality.. You can see a good looking person and instantly be disgusted by there personality nothing about that person would attract me.. Unless your an idiotic moraless prick..

 

The same goes for someone you may not find so "attractive" haveing a dynamite personality and someone you just connect to.. Shallow is

dumbasses ignorant cousin..

 

I know the alternative is being alone but id honestly rather be alone the rest of my life

 

You should stick with this option instead of feeling sorry for ppl who are happy together.

[irc333]

Yeah, the whole romantising a relationship, trying to compare it to a steamy romance novel or movie isn't realistic.

 

I get a kick out of women, over 40 even, who say in their profile how they're looking for their knight and shining armor....at their age..it's quite silly, you'd figured they'd come to their senses by that age.

 

 

You see it and hear it from people in relationships even married who are with people they know arent that good looking and theyre not that physically attracted to them and dont feel great lust but marry for emotional support and i wonder how can somebody go through a relationship and have ex with somebody they arent physically attracted to?

 

I know the alternative is being alone but id honestly rather be alone the rest of my life if i couldnt be with someone im overly attracted to then have sex with somebody who does nothing for me physically,i need that animal lust want to rip their clothes off as do most people

 

Emotional support is cool and a need in a relationship but without that animal lust its not the same i feel bad for people who can only get into relationships for emotional support and arent in lust with their partner because its all they can get with their level of attractiveness i dont know how they do it

[snowflakes88]

I feel awful for people who aren't intelligent enough to distinguish between "their" and "they're," "then" and "than," etc.

[Quest4_TheLost]

I hate to burst your bubble but plenty of women over the age of 40 still date and are getting married and finding there "knights" as you put it..

 

 

At that age atleast their not ignorant and shallow anymore about looks since we will all look if not like crap, then atleast alot less attractive then we once were..

[somedude81]

That is one thing I'm afraid of, that I'll end up settling for a woman that I have no attraction for.

 

And I just can't see a relationship like that lasting.

[Sanman]

What happens when the person's looks fade and you are no longer sexually attracted to them? Leave the relationship/marriage/family for better sex?

[irc333]

What happens when the person's looks fade and you are no longer sexually attracted to them? Leave the relationship/marriage/family for better sex?

 

 

I don't think people ever think with that mindset. They are concerned with the present, not the future.

 

Better to enjoy them while they're attractive physically for a certain amount of time, than seeing them now (at 25 years of age) at 200+lbs.

[miss_jaclynrae]

How do you know they ONLY married them for emotional support?

So because they admit that their SO isn't the hottest looks wise means they aren't attracted to them? I disagree.

[zengirl]

I feel awful for people who worry so much about looks - the looks of themselves or others. So much more to life when you let that **** go a little, really.

[Tulsy]

I feel awful for people who worry so much about looks - the looks of themselves or others. So much more to life when you let that **** go a little, really.

 

you sound hot! LOL

 

Seriously though, I think it's unfortunate too, but pretty much a fact-of-life...a lot of people are unhappy with how they look.

 

People may have low self-esteem for a variety of reasons, and to a variety of degrees. Mine is not severe, but I have had low self-esteem at times in my life.

 

I'm in my mid-thirty's now, so it's less of an issue for me. Still, I try to look my best because it makes me feel better. If I don't exercise, I don't feel I look my best. I do what I have to in order to make myself feel better...decent clothes, haircut, clean, etc.

 

Also, I have to be attracted to someone physically in order to date them. Personality too...both are "must haves". It's not one without the other, not like I only date hot women, chemistry is multi-level.

 

I date women that are equally attractive as I am. I don't date girls out of my league, I'm not even attracted to that, just as I don't date women I'm not attracted too physically.

 

So I asked myself...would I date a women who I had everything in common with and got along perfectly with, but I didn't find her attractive at all? I can truly say that when a chick is "cool" and "fun" and into me and all that I do, she already appears more attractive to me. Is that enough? Sadly, no. I honestly need to find her super attractive for it to work, and I would expect the same. I would NOT want to be with a woman who doesn't find me super attractive. I like the raw passion in a relationship...it creates constant excitement when you are around the person. Looks help that, I'm not gonna lie.

[Mme. Chaucer]

OP - we all know that you are the handsomest man EVAH, because you tell us so often. But do you have any other good qualities to bring to a relationship? Are you interested in anything other than physical appearance in women you date?

 

You must have some age on you … do you find it depressing or even terrifying to face a time of life when your legendary handsomeness fails you?

 

Do you have anything to fall back on?

 

My final question is this: Have you "got" anyone yourself, whether you think they are hot enough or not? From your posts here, I have gathered that you're always single.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Yeah, the whole romantising a relationship, trying to compare it to a steamy romance novel or movie isn't realistic.

 

I get a kick out of women, over 40 even, who say in their profile how they're looking for their knight and shining armor....at their age..it's quite silly, you'd figured they'd come to their senses by that age.

 

Aren't you significantly over the hill yourself, yet looking for some kind of ideal?

 

It's okay for men but "silly" for women?

[Negative Nancy]

Agreed, it must suck having to resort to physically unattractive people.

 

It must suck having to resort to your wallet in order to get attractive people.

[Negative Nancy]

At that age atleast their not ignorant and shallow anymore about looks since we will all look if not like crap, then atleast alot less attractive then we once were..

 

Hoe exactly is that supposed to be comforting for the average man? You lived it up in your twenties and played the field, and then when you are older and not AS attractive anymore, men are supposed to find comfort in the fact that now you are willing to settle for them?

 

Sometimes I can understand men's resentments for women after rading a posting like this one.

 

But I'm not discriminating, as a woman of course I wouldnt want a 40 year old man who played the field and only wants to settle down because his chances with the opposite sex diminish either...

[KathyM]

I'd feel sorry for someone who is alone and lonely of his own choosing because he wouldn't allow himself to consider dating someone who didn't measure up to his self imposed visual standards, but who may have many other wonderful qualities that would make that person a wonderful companion. The man/woman would never get to experience the joy of being in love with someone, having it reciprocated, and having their companionship through life because no one ever met their visual standards who was interested in them, so they ended up alone. So I guess I'm agreeing with you--I feel sorry for someone who would rather be alone than to adjust his physical requirements to what he is able to attract himself. I think there's a lot of great people out there who would make wonderful companions who may happen to be overweight or have some other physical issue. 2/3rds of the population in the US are overweight. That's a lot of people to rule out of the dating pool, many of whom have some great qualities about them and who would make wonderful companions.

[SteveC80]

I'd feel sorry for someone who is alone and lonely of his own choosing because he wouldn't allow himself to consider dating someone who didn't measure up to his self imposed visual standards, but who may have many other wonderful qualities that would make that person a wonderful companion.

 

Yes and you know what a good companion without being attracted to that person visually and physically is called? a FRIEND

 

There would be no need for friends of the opposite sex if all it took was common interest and a connection to start a relationship but you need lust and physical attraction on some level as well

[venusianx13]

I had a relationship that was based solely on this "animal attraction" you speak of, and guess what? It sucked. There was no depth, no bond to it beyond that.

 

I have a very strong connection to the man I am dating now, and initially, I didn't think he was my type, "looks-wise", but after getting to know him, he has become the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on.

[KathyM]

Yes and you know what a good companion without being attracted to that person visually and physically is called? a FRIEND

 

There would be no need for friends of the opposite sex if all it took was common interest and a connection to start a relationship but you need lust and physical attraction on some level as well

Friendship doesn't fulfill the same need as romantic love. A person needs both in his life, and to say that someone can never feel romantic love for someone that isn't what he wishes her to be physically is just not true. There are many people who have found other qualities in a person to fall in love with, or enough at least to want their compansionship rather than to be alone. Of course, the ideal would be to have someone you feel a great physical attraction for, and who also feels that level of physical attraction for you. But there are many people who choose to focus on the other qualitites of a person if the physical is not quite up to par, and they find love and companionship and a fulfilling life together regardless. It's unfortunate if a person is such a slave to appearance that he would rather be alone and lonely than to allow himself to appreciate the other qualities a person may have.

[jobaba]

I had a relationship that was based solely on this "animal attraction" you speak of, and guess what? It sucked. There was no depth, no bond to it beyond that.

 

I have a very strong connection to the man I am dating now, and initially, I didn't think he was my type, "looks-wise", but after getting to know him, he has become the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on.

 

Wow.

 

Good stuff.

[carhill]

Wow.

 

Good stuff.

That's known as manna from heaven in the desert of the real

[venusianx13]

That's known as manna from heaven in the desert of the real

 

 

How so? As in, "medicine for the eyes?"

[carhill]

It gives a man who has never seen such a gift hope. Manna for the pscyhe.

[venusianx13]

Fantastic!!!

[Els]

I had a relationship that was based solely on this "animal attraction" you speak of, and guess what? It sucked. There was no depth, no bond to it beyond that.

 

I have a very strong connection to the man I am dating now, and initially, I didn't think he was my type, "looks-wise", but after getting to know him, he has become the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on.

 

So true.

 

(10 ch)