Dating, no talk of exclusivity, what are the rules then?

[carhill]

My definition of 'seeing', which was common amongst the women I dated in my 30's, including my exW, was where/when a woman was socializing with a man before and after socializing with myself. In other words, she had been on 'dates' with the man in the past and had future plans with him, whether or not they were realized. She was socially involved with purported romantic intentions with more than one man at a time. Again, this is/was common in my area, simply because of a surplus of men/dearth of women.

 

I don't date men but imagine this dynamic is equal opportunity. I tried it briefly about 23 years ago and found it not to my taste so discontinued.

 

Hence, with no talk of exclusivity, I would, based upon life experience in my demographic, presume that the lady is 'seeing' other men. I don't have sex outside of a an exclusive monogamous relationship so that part is moot but the socializing part is worthy of thought and reconsideration. Reading the thread has been helpful.

[snug.bunny]

Fairly obvious what the view of the author is, since it has the same assumptions and holier-than-thou whiff about it as some posts in this thread, but interesting all the same. It's definitely one take on the "rules" that might exist when dating without exclusivity.

 

(as an aside, I'm both mildly amused and pleasantly surprised that this thread seems to be remaining broadly on topic and mostly civil despite clearly being another of those multi-dating arguments we have from time to time!)

 

I actually pulled the pros/cons from multiple sources. It seemed pretty unbiased. Maybe you can throw in some of your own pros/cons?

 

(as an aside, I'm both mildly amused and pleasantly surprised that this thread seems to be remaining broadly on topic and mostly civil despite clearly being another of those multi-dating arguments we have from time to time!)

 

[kaylan]

So she can get naked in bed with the other guys have orals sex , get fingered, etc and you are cool with it as long as the penis is not used. It is not about sex Kaylan. She is still stringing you along whether the penis goes in or not.[/quoted]

If im just meeting her, I have no right to dictate or expect her to change her sexual behavior. Dont you get that? If I decide I like her, Ill tell her what I am or am not cool with.

 

And like I said from the beginning. This isnt all about sex. YOU keep making it about sex as if all multi daters sleep around. Its possible, and many do, multi date without sleeping with anyone. Some multi daters wait to find a relationship partner before sex.

 

See above, this is not about sex. This is about dating someone that is seriously looking for a LTR.

Just because someone has sex, and can enjoy sex outside of an LTR, does not mean they arent serious about finding an LTR. Sex is a basic human need, and not everyone needs an LTR to enjoy it.

 

Understand that.

[seachangeoflove]

I'm not investing in them emotionally. Hence, waste of time for me.

 

 

If you find yourself emotionally invested with someone after one date then I think you have bigger problems to deal with. And perhaps you should evaluate why you're dating.

 

 

You probably shouldn't form any attatchement or emotional bond or investment until maybe 3-4 dates and you've known the person for a week or two.

 

At that time you can go forward and ask for information or end things etc. Until then, you and the person you are dating are strangers for the most part. And frankly I don't like people I just met getting all up in my private business, dating or othewise. Id be just as insulted if someone asked my income.

 

 

If I was on a first (or even second) date and someone asked me when the last time I had sex was I would probably excuse myself and end the date. Even if the answer was 6 months to a year..... To me, asking very private info so early would be a huge red flag for a potential control freak.

 

 

You come across as very uptight and controlling but to each their own I suppose.

Edited July 22, 2012 by seachangeoflove

[RedRobin]

What does this have to do with multi-dating? The (hypothetical) scenario was where I had dated someone else the week before a date with you. That's not seeing someone while seeing you (especially since I clarified that I have no intention to see her), so whatever definition of 'seeing' you're using I don't see why it's coming from a multi-dater dictionary.

 

 

You are right. You answered the question in a legalistic manner... How do I know it is 'legalistic'? Because I know your beliefs and behavior from LS.

 

Guess that would score you a first date with someone like me because I wouldn't be asking you 10 questions trying to assess your dating style before agreeing to go on a first date. (another reason I don't date strangers...)

 

Congratulations.

 

I doubt you'd make it to a second though. Because I'd figure out pretty quick that the answers to other questions were probably positioned similarly... as in answered legalistically... and not with a desire for understanding and full disclosure of your dating style and what I'm in for if I decide to go on further dates with you.

 

You're the one who's equating a date with sex, too. That didn't come from a multi-dater dictionary, it came from you.

 

Most people hope to have physical intimacy with people they date. Hence my desire to avoid those who 'date' others simultaneously. I'm not a fan of overlap on any level.

 

If they are not dating other simultaneously, (ie multidating) then there is no overlap or potential for overlap.

Edited July 22, 2012 by RedRobin

[seachangeoflove]

 

Guess that would score you a first date with someone like me because I wouldn't be asking you 10 questions trying to assess your dating style before agreeing to go on a first date. (another reason I don't date strangers...)

 

Congratulations.

 

I doubt you'd make it to a second though. Because I'd figure out pretty quick that the answers to other questions were probably positioned similarly... as in answered legalistically... and not with a desire for understanding and full disclosure of your dating style and what I'm in for if I decide to go on further dates with you.

 

 

 

does anyone? Do you even get offers for second dates?

[RedRobin]

If you find yourself emotionally invested with someone after one date then I think you have bigger problems to deal with. And perhaps you should evaluate why you're dating.

 

Don't be silly.

 

You probably shouldn't form any attatchement or emotional bond or investment until maybe 3-4 dates and you've known the person for a week or two.

 

It takes me alot longer than that to form an attachment or emotional bond.

 

At that time you can go forward and ask for information or end things etc. Until then, you and the person you are dating are strangers for the most part. And frankly I don't like people I just met getting all up in my private business, dating or othewise. Id be just as insulted if someone asked my income.

 

 

If I was on a first (or even second) date and someone asked me when the last time I had sex was I would probably excuse myself and end the date. Even if the answer was 6 months to a year..... To me, asking very private info so early would be a huge red flag for a potential control freak.

 

I don't usually need to ask. They are the ones trying to dive down my shorts in 3-4 dates or less. I'm kinda obliged to do some digging, doncha think?

 

I realize that these days people would rather just bring condoms rather than ask questions.

 

To each his/her own.

 

You come across as very uptight and controlling but to each their own I suppose.

 

yea, I get that. I don't really care what multi-daters think... as long as they don't involve me in their dating drama and wishy-washiness.

[RedRobin]

Just because someone has sex, and can enjoy sex outside of an LTR, does not mean they arent serious about finding an LTR. Sex is a basic human need, and not everyone needs an LTR to enjoy it.

 

Understand that.

 

Duh...

 

It is those people that non-multi-daters are trying to avoid.

 

Understand that.

 

You don't have to agree with it... just answer the damned question or volunteer what your dating style is and/or beliefs early on so we can avoid you. K? It really isn't that hard.

 

You aren't 'entitled' to date a mono-dater... nor is a mono-dater obliged to accept your viewpoints regarding sex and dating.

 

If you (and other multi-daters) don't have a problem with your dating style and being transparent, then you shouldn't get upset when people like me are simply looking for clarity.

 

Wouldn't you rather have that, then have someone like me dump you when you try to put the moves on them? That's what I do with men who don't give me clear answers and try to sex me up.

Edited July 22, 2012 by RedRobin

[seachangeoflove]

 

yea, I get that. I don't really care what multi-daters think... as long as they don't involve me in their dating drama and wishy-washiness.

 

 

well, what us 'multi daters' think is that our definition of multi dating is drastically different yours. Clearly you''ve been burned by people who were cheating and tried to write it off as multi dating.

 

Most people would cut off other people before it got to the 3-4 dates. And still not dive into anyones pants. But I digress....

 

again...keep doing what ever works for you, as us mult daters will as well.

[kaylan]

Duh...

 

It is those people that non-multi-daters are trying to avoid.

 

Understand that.

Um no...thats what YOURE trying to avoid. Not every mono dater tries to avoid that. You do know you can have sex outside of relationships and still mono date right? Having sex and enjoying it outside of a relationship is not something only multi daters do. Mono daters do this as well. Its called FWBs and PLENTY of multi and mono daters enjoy it.

 

Stop trying to peg everything you dont like onto multi daters as if plenty of mono daters dont do the same thing.

You don't have to agree with it... just answer the damned question or volunteer what your dating style is and/or beliefs early on so we can avoid you. K? It really isn't that hard.

Who is we? You are the one trying to avoid me. Not every mono dater thinks like you, and you dont speak for all of them...so stop acting like you do.

 

You aren't 'entitled' to date a mono-dater... nor is a mono-dater obliged to accept your viewpoints regarding sex and dating.

Excuse you...

 

But when did I say or imply that I was entitled to date anyone? Why are you putting words in my mouth. I simply date who I like, and people who like me will date me whether or not they multi date. This hasnt ever been an issue for me because Im honest and upfront with women.

 

They can make their decision accordingly...and no...they dont all think as you do.

 

If you (and other multi-daters) don't have a problem with your dating style and being transparent, then you shouldn't get upset when people like me are simply looking for clarity.

I have no problem when people want clarity. I always give it.

 

What I do have a problem with is judgmental and ignorantly assumptive attitudes.

Wouldn't you rather have that, then have someone like me dump you when you try to put the moves on them? That's what I do with men who don't give me clear answers and try to sex me up.

Honestly hun, clarity wouldnt be necessary if I ever encountered a woman like you. Because I can tell from your personality that you wouldnt even be close to the kind of woman Id take out on a date, let alone ask out. So youd never even get the chance to dump me.

[RedRobin]

well, what us 'multi daters' think is that our definition of multi dating is drastically different yours. Clearly you''ve been burned by people who were cheating and tried to write it off as multi dating.

 

Most people would cut off other people before it got to the 3-4 dates. And still not dive into anyones pants. But I digress....

 

again...keep doing what ever works for you, as us mult daters will as well.

 

Lots of people (the multi-daters here in particular) have said they need to have sex with someone before agreeing to be exclusive.

 

Not sure what that means to you.

 

What that means to me is that they won't be cutting other people off until after they have sex with someone... or they will be doing everything else just short of (fill in the blank) sexual activity.

 

That means they are seeing others and having sexual activity with one or more of them. Multi-daters don't call this cheating. They call this sex without exclusivity. I'd prefer not being in a position to even come close to going there... along with the subsequent emotional buildup... with someone who is doing similar with others.

 

Look. I really don't care what other people do or don't do. Not trying to convert anyone. Just want straight answers when I ask questions.

Edited July 22, 2012 by RedRobin

[seachangeoflove]

Look. I really don't care what other people do or don't do. Not trying to convert anyone. Just want straight answers when I ask questions.

 

the tone and intention of the majority of your posts suggests otherwise. You seem very harsh and judgemental towards people painting them with a very wide brush. Assuming anyone who might even think of "multi dating" is off banging 17 random people a week. If only it were so easy

 

I wish I could date non strangers but that's not a reality for many people. When you meet people online, it's often two weeks from first contact until you meet them. If I held off going on first and second dates with out 'multi dating' I'd probably go on maybe 1 date a month, if that.

 

If you only want to go on one date a month, that's fine. But it's not fine for me, I like to go on one date a week, (sometimes more!!!) usually something casual like coffee (and I more then often cover my share)

 

 

I guess that makes me a hussy

 

 

 

 

Also, why do I have a feeling there just aren't that many men trying to 'sex up' Red Robin? lol

Edited July 22, 2012 by seachangeoflove

[RedRobin]

Um no...thats what YOURE trying to avoid. Not every mono dater tries to avoid that. You do know you can have sex outside of relationships and still mono date right? Having sex and enjoying it outside of a relationship is not something only multi daters do. Mono daters do this as well. Its called FWBs and PLENTY of multi and mono daters enjoy it.

 

I don't personally know any mono-daters who 'enjoy' FWB's.

 

Some of them get talked into them (out of insecurity or desperation) by multi-daters who want to play the field.

 

More likely... it is a multi-dater who fails to state his/her true intentions with a mono-dater and is stringing them along... is how alot of FWB type arrangements get started.

 

Yet another reason I don't date multi-daters. Lots to learn here at LS about how to avoid multi-daters and how they slick their way through things.

 

I simply date who I like, and people who like me will date me whether or not they multi date. This hasnt ever been an issue for me because Im honest and upfront with women.

 

Great... and if/when you finally decide to settle down, I hope you can keep an open mind regarding women's sexual history and are honest about your past.

 

Alot of mono-daters aren't interested in promiscuous men... any more than men are interested in promiscuous women when they want to settle down. Although I realize that double standards die hard for some of you guys.

 

Honestly hun, clarity wouldnt be necessary if I ever encountered a woman like you. Because I can tell from your personality that you wouldnt even be close to the kind of woman Id take out on a date, let alone ask out. So youd never even get the chance to dump me.

 

Really? That hasn't stopped alot of multi-dating men from asking me out... I guess they think I can't resist their brilliant moves and their 'game' *shrug*

[ThaWholigan]

WOW!

 

This is a classic case of straw men. You come up with ridiculous positions or statements and then pretend these statements were said by RR. Then, you attack the statements. You are the best "straw men" poster I have ever seen in the Internet. You were not even discret or careful.:laugh:

http://sidoxia.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/pot-kettle-black.jpg

 

:lmao:

[sid3]

http://sidoxia.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/pot-kettle-black.jpg

 

:lmao:

 

Haha! Got popcorn?

[RedRobin]

the tone and intention of the majority of your posts suggests otherwise. You seem very harsh and judgemental towards people painting them with a very wide brush. Assuming anyone who might even think of "multi dating" is off banging 17 random people a week. If only it were so easy

 

you don't get it... I DON'T CARE how many people multi-daters are or are not sleeping with.

 

I wish I could date non strangers but that's not a reality for many people. When you meet people online, it's often two weeks from first contact until you meet them. If I held off going on first and second dates with out 'multi dating' I'd probably go on maybe 1 date a month, if that.

 

If you only want to go on one date a month, that's fine. But it's not fine for me, I like to go on one date a week, (sometimes more!!!) usually something casual like coffee (and I more then often cover my share)

 

Yes, I understand. This is why I don't do OLD. When I stopped doing OLD, my issues with multi-dating pretty much disappeared...

 

 

I guess that makes me a hussy

 

Also, why do I have a feeling there just aren't that many men trying to 'sex up' Red Robin? lol

 

Now, now. I haven't called anyone names.

 

As far as your last statement... plenty of people here know otherwise. It is my frustration with the pace of things these days that is partly responsible for my decision to avoid multi-daters altogether.

 

Why do you think I'm annoyed with men who are going for the gold in the first few dates? Huh? Oh, right. It's because noone tries.

 

:rolleyes:

 

This whole thread started because the OP was talking about a woman who wanted to 'go slow' and he was looking for excuses to have sex with his ex. So many people just assume that those who don't want to jump in the sack ASAP must be banging others.

[ThaWholigan]

You are wrong dude.

 

When I replied to Kaylan and Jaclynrae I actually pasted their own words to provided the analysis. I did not put words in their mouths. Therefore, it cannot be a straw man. Check it out.

:p

 

Nice try!

No, I am fairly certain I'm right. The fact that you pasted their own words in individual posts means nothing when you avoided the core of their arguments.

 

Why have you presumed that they are having sex with more than one person at the same time when both posters stated clearly that they do not?

 

Why have you also foisted your theory that "multi-daters are dishonest" onto them when both have also claimed that they aren't? And then continued in the same vein of course.....

 

Throughout this thread you have taken their words and squeezed them into the same box as liars and cheaters, when they are not, so it's quite humorous that you would call out that particular post from seachangeoflove as a straw man, when you've been doing it ever so subtly throughout this entire thread.

[RedRobin]

No, I am fairly certain I'm right. The fact that you pasted their own words in individual posts means nothing when you avoided the core of their arguments.

 

Why have you presumed that they are having sex with more than one person at the same time when both posters stated clearly that they do not?

 

Why have you also foisted your theory that "multi-daters are dishonest" onto them when both have also claimed that they aren't? And then continued in the same vein of course.....

 

Throughout this thread you have taken their words and squeezed them into the same box as liars and cheaters, when they are not, so it's quite humorous that you would call out that particular post from seachangeoflove as a straw man, when you've been doing it ever so subtly throughout this entire thread.

 

Actually, I think he just did a very good job of pointing out the way some of the posters here dance around answering a straight question that would potentially be posed by a non multi-dater.

 

It feels dishonest to a non multi-dater to have someone who has a habit and 'enjoys' multi-dating to duck such straightforward assessment.

 

I wouldn't be mean to someone if they told me they believed in multi-dating. Why is it such a big deal if they just come forward with their style? Isn't it best for everyone?

 

Shoot... I just went through some nasty piece of work recently with a guy I called 'Mr. Sexy Talk' because he refused to accept that our values and goals were different and I didn't want to date him. That's what I told him.

 

TBH, it has been the multi-daters who have been mean and nasty to ME when I refuse to want to keep dating them and accept their dating choices... not the other way around.

[kaylan]

I don't personally know any mono-daters who 'enjoy' FWB's.

I am not surprised by this. From the way you speak and from how you negatively judge others, you seem like the kind of person who only befriends people who think just like you. Especially since you always tell people how "well my friends and the people I know arent like that". Its obvious your friend group isnt that varied, but mine is. So when I tell you mono-daters exist who enjoy FWBs....believe it. People are variable.

 

Again, just because you dont personally know any mono-daters who enjoy FWBs doesnt mean they dont exist. My best friend, whos very much relationship oriented, and only dates one girl at a time, has had a couple of flings himself.

 

And this is a guy whos been in a 5 year and year and half long relationships. Allow me to mention that before you slander his LTR capability. Hes a great guy too and has been dating a great new girl the last few months.

 

Some of them get talked into them (out of insecurity or desperation) by multi-daters who want to play the field.

Um, no. I know several mono-daters and multi-daters who have had flings because they wanted to have some fun and didnt see the other person as compatible with them for a relationship.

 

Can you please stop making ignorant assumptions? When my best friend had his flings, he wasnt ready for another relationship, and hooked up with a mutual friend each time. Both girls were on the same page as him and no one got hurt.

 

Why must someone be desperate and insecure if they have sex outside a relationship? Couldnt it just be that they enjoy sex and dont want a relationship at that time or with that particular person. Both people can agree to such a thing without any negativity. You need to chill.

 

More likely... it is a multi-dater who fails to state his/her true intentions with a mono-dater and is stringing them along... is how alot of FWB type arrangements get started.

Wrong...you need to meet more people and see the world more. Everything isnt like you think it is. Especially someone whos never really multidated or had much experience with FWBs arrangements.

 

Yet another reason I don't date multi-daters. Lots to learn here at LS about how to avoid multi-daters and how they slick their way through things.

Slick their way through? lmao...and I keep telling you that these negative things you speak of are not unique to multi-daters, yet you refuse to acknowledge this fact. Plenty of multi-daters are honest.

 

Great... and if/when you finally decide to settle down, I hope you can keep an open mind regarding women's sexual history and are honest about your past.

Im always honest about my past. Im not ashamed of anything I have done. I welcome a girl with a sexual history similar to mine. Lord knows I wouldnt want to deal with a judgmental prude who would condemn me for my past or present dating style.

Alot of mono-daters aren't interested in promiscuous men... any more than men are interested in promiscuous women when they want to settle down. Although I realize that double standards die hard for some of you guys.

OMFG! Mono daters can be promiscuous, and multi-daters can be as well! Promiscuity is not unqiue to multidating! And just because someone multi dates, does not mean they sleep with anyone or everyone.

 

You can see someone, and only one person for a few weeks, have sex, and then move to the next person. You can rack up high sexual partner numbers, be considered promiscuous, all without ever multi dating. And plenty of people do this.

 

So I dont get why you keep acting like promiscuity is something only multi daters do. I as a multi dater could possibly sleep with 2 girls at a time one month, then only 1 girl (while still multidating) the next month, and then continue to multidate after that but sleep with no one despite seeing a few different girls. Thatd make it very easy for the aforementioned mono-dater to sleep with many more people than me.

 

So again I say, PROMISCUITY IS DEPENDENT ON THE PERSONS AITTITUDES REGARDING SEX, NOT THEIR DATING STYLE. Hear that this time. Its probably the 7th time Ive have to say this.

 

I dont want to hear about double standards either. I wont judge a girl more harshly than a guy with a similar past. I hold women to the same standard I hold myself. I multidate, but Ive been with a modest amount of women sexually, an average number at that. So QUIT making stupid assumptions about all multidaters.

Really? That hasn't stopped alot of multi-dating men from asking me out... I guess they think I can't resist their brilliant moves and their 'game' *shrug*

Men ask out women in general, so what youre telling doesnt change the fact that Im picky and have short patience for judgmental, holier than thou females.

It feels dishonest to a non multi-dater to have someone who has a habit and 'enjoys' multi-dating to duck such straightforward assessment.

But myself and others keep telling you we dont duck questions and assessment. Im VERY straight forward with women I meet. If they arent feeling me, then I move on. Way to many chicks out there, so why care if they dont want me.

 

You two refuse to hear what we are saying though.

Question for Kaylan:

 

Kaylan; you stated you were looking for the right woman for a LTR. Furthermore, you stated you were in love two times since age 15, but the relationships did not work out.

 

Lets pretend you have found two women that you really like. These woman are identical twins. I am sorry to inform you that you can only pick one of these women. However, you will fall in love again.

 

Twin A is a multi dater and she currently seeing several men besides you. In fact she has dated a lot. She is a very experienced multi dater and has been with a few hundred men.

 

Twin B is a mono dater and only has sex within an exclusive relationship.

 

Which woman will you pick?

 

Remember! You can only have one or the other.

Identical twins arent identical in personality. In real life the girl who I click with the most is the girl I will date.

 

But I see what you are trying to do....you still are making the multidater a notorious slut, while making the mono dater seem more chaste...and you dont even disclose her sexual number.

 

Seems to me that you are simply trying to force a situation in which your opinion is the only correct one, especially a stupid situation that includes two people on extreme opposite ends of a spectrum. Im sorry, but that wont work on me, as Im too smart for that. People are variable and unique....and I will SAY IT AGAIN....Multidating DOES NOT equate to promiscuity, and mono-dating DOES NOT equate to chastity and honesty.

 

Its all depends on the individual and their character. So to answer your unreal hypothetical question, I wouldnt date a woman whos been with hundreds of men. It has nothing to do with her dating style. One can easily be a slut and still mono date.

 

You fail again, sorry.

Edited July 22, 2012 by kaylan

[RedRobin]

Look Kaylan, I really don't give a damn if you or anyone else multi-dates or has FWBs.

 

You say you are honest about your dating habits... that's all I'd ask of anyone.

 

It's not a big deal. There is nothing to 'fail'... I just don't want to date a multi-dater and would prefer they share this early on so we can both find someone we are compatible with.

[kaylan]

Look Kaylan, I really don't give a damn if you or anyone else multi-dates or has FWBs.

You dont give a damn yet you judge and slander us all. You paint us with one brush of stereotypical dribble. Just like when it comes to any group of people, not everyone is the same. I just want you to realize that...and quit acting like you arent throwing everyone under the same bridge.

 

You say you are honest about your dating habits... that's all I'd ask of anyone.

Ok then. I just wish that when numerous posters tell you they are honest, that you wouldnt continue bashing multi-daters. You ALWAYS do this, and people are sick of it.

 

Its equally as annoying as the dudes who constantly bash women on this site as if all of them are the same.

It's not a big deal. There is nothing to 'fail'... I just don't want to date a multi-dater and would prefer they share this early on so we can both find someone we are compatible with.

Its no big deal, yet you have rallied against us since joining this site =/

 

I think everyone understands your feelings; you dont like multi-daters and assume they all behave the same way, and thus wont deal with them in the dating world as you believe were all slutty, lying, cheating bastards.

 

People get that and dont wanna hear it anymore.

[RedRobin]

You dont give a damn yet you judge and slander us all. You paint us with one brush of stereotypical dribble. Just like when it comes to any group of people, not everyone is the same. I just want you to realize that...and quit acting like you arent throwing everyone under the same bridge.

 

Ok then. I just wish that when numerous posters tell you they are honest, that you wouldnt continue bashing multi-daters. You ALWAYS do this, and people are sick of it.

 

Its equally as annoying as the dudes who constantly bash women on this site as if all of them are the same.

Its no big deal, yet you have rallied against us since joining this site =/

 

I think everyone understands your feelings; you dont like multi-daters and assume they all behave the same way, and thus wont deal with them in the dating world as you believe were all slutty, lying, cheating bastards.

 

People get that and dont wanna hear it anymore.

 

Whatever Kaylan.

 

It is you who seem intent on convincing mono-daters to be ok with multi-daters. It's you who have the axe to grind now, not me.

 

I've made my choice. If I've done anything, I've only attempted to explain how I came to this choice... and implore multi-daters to be open and honest... as you claim to be.

 

If anything, you should be 'proud' of yourself...

 

But see, just because you may be honest about it, still doesn't change my opinion about not wanting to date multi-daters. K? Sorry if that bugs you.

 

I'm not trying to convert anyone. Stop trying to convert me.

[kaylan]

^*yawn*

 

No ones trying to convert you. People are telling you to stop ignorantly judging people and painting a group of people with one brush of negativity. And we also wish youd stop dismissing peoples posts while taking what they say and twisting it to fit your negative view of them.

 

You dont hear any of us saying "mono-daters do this or that". Youre the one who keeps saying that multi-daters are this bad thing or do that bad thing.

I hear you Kaylan. YOu refuse to answer a very simple question.

 

One is a multi dater and the other a mono dater. Otherwise they are identical twins.

 

Just give your answer.

 

If I follow your point you would rather pick the multi dater. Is that correct?Why not the mono dater.

 

Obviously the multi dater has a higher number, but we are not talking about sex here.

 

Which will you pick?

I didnt refuse to answer your question. I told you how flawed your question was. The girls dating style has NOTHING to do with my choice. I answered that question. I then went on to tell you that whether one likes multidating or monodating HAS NOTHING to do with promiscuity.

Edited July 23, 2012 by kaylan

[RedRobin]

*yawn*

 

No ones trying to convert you. People are telling you to stop ignorant judging people and painting a group of people with one brush of negativity. And we also wish youd stop dismissing peoples posts while taking what they say and twisting it to fit your negative view of them.

 

Learning how to answer a straight question with a straight answer is a valuable life skill.

 

I also realize that learning how to duck a straight question and leave the impression of giving an answer is also a valuable life skill.

 

It is within this cravasse of communication that I suppose many mono-daters and multi-daters will never bridge... or without great difficulty. Hence the need to simply avoid from the get-go. So much easier that way.

 

Google Image Result for http://www.crevasse.com/images/Gallery02/03crevasse.jpg

[RedRobin]

*yawn*

 

No ones trying to convert you. People are telling you to stop ignorant judging people and painting a group of people with one brush of negativity. And we also wish youd stop dismissing peoples posts while taking what they say and twisting it to fit your negative view of them.

 

Learning how to answer a straight question with a straight answer is a valuable life skill.

 

I also realize that learning how to duck a straight question and leave the impression of giving an answer is also a valuable life skill.

 

It is within this cravasse of communication that I suppose many mono-daters and multi-daters will never bridge... or without great difficulty. Hence the need to simply avoid from the get-go. So much easier that way.