I need getting used to boyfriend having female friends .

[Kaydeesimpson]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. During those years he and I have trouble getting along . I mostly have trouble getting used to the fact he has close female friends. It hurts me when we are out on the weekends and he's a total social butterfly and I Defenitly take a long time opening up to people so when we go out he leaves me behind and goes off with his friends to play beer ping at parties or basketball. I'm very insecure but I'm trying to get better for us to be happy again , I feel like he's no longer interested in me when he brings girks closer to him like a best friend type thing , I feel like he will accidentally get attracted. I have make friends and they all flirt with me and in scared he will flirt with them. I'm a very attached girlfriend and I love every second with him and I want most of his attention on me but not all the time . He and I talk about this all the time and he always tells me the same thing he won't leave me he loves me and he loves me more than life and he chosses me . I feel like its all just to get me to shut up I don't believe it. Sometimes he lies to me about hanging out with this one girl I'm insecure about for example he said he was going out to PTs pub with the guys but didn't mention Porsche (the girl I'm insecure about ) was there. But I found out by stalking her . Which I do have a problem cause when I first stalked her I found out why she said that my boufriend gave her a ride home from work and he didn't tell me . I mostly found out all info that he lies about on there . That's why I'm addicted to looking at her page . He and I ha a heart to heart talk about how I want to get better and not insecure but the problem is that it's only been 2 weeks since that talk and I'm not fully better yet but he is already starting to invite her very where we go . I haven't met her yet , I'm supposed to meet her this weekend . He hopes I like her and that it helps me not be insecure by knowing her . Thanks

[venusianx13]

I'm sorry you're feeling so insecure, and I can say I completely know the feeling.

 

Please pay attention to red flags, though. Your boyfriend's blatant dishonesty about hanging out with women (giving rides and so forth) is a HUGE red flag. He cannot demand trust from you if he is not honest with you. That's not how trust works.

[Tulsy]

You boyfriend lies to you....that should be enough to end it. Plus, he lies about something he knows you are insecure about, and then tell you that's why he lied about it. You, sweetheart, are dating a player. Believe me, as a man, I know the game.

 

Also, as a man, I can assure you that men and women can't be friends. Sure, I can be friendly with women I don't date, but not really tight. The sex always gets in the way.

 

Many women think it's possible. All men know it's not. One of the 2 people WOULD sleep with the other person in every man-women friendship scenario.

[piggyoink]

Men and women can be friends and I'm friendly with them without things gettting in the way.

[carhill]

OP, after two years, you're far beyond 'dating' and should have met and developed relationships (as his girlfriend) with his friends. It should be obvious that they support his relationship with you. Anything less is unacceptable. Simple boundary.

 

If breached, erase him. This presumes you are desiring a healthy LTR or M in your future; if other, then ignore my advice.

[Sammmmm]

I understand how you are feeling. But You have been together for almost 2 years, if he wanted to be with her or anyone else then he wouldn't be with you. So you just need to trust him. It's not right that he lies to you, but maybe he does it so that it doesn't hurt your feelings? But then he shouldn't keep anything from you. Maybe try get to know the girl, at least he isn't trying to keep you from meeting her!

[TG1]

If he has female friends, then I need to ask the question, do you have any male friends?

 

If you did, imagine your boyfriend in your shoes and how he would feel. He would have to get used to you having male friends, so I say it is only fair that you should get used to the idea of him having female friends. If you don't, you could potentially lose him for good.

 

There's a trust issue here.

 

You think he is going to cheat on you with any one of his female friends, so I gotta ask, do you love this guy?

 

If you do, then you have to have faith in him, you have to trust him. Because without trust, there can't be a relationship at all