RonChalant Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 this is the one of the last text i sent my ex...2 weeks ago. we broke up 8 months ago when she left me for someone else after 7 years together ME: July 6, 2012 one last thing and I will let you be until you decide your ready to talk...what blows me the most is that I've always accepted you for who you are, flaws and all which is something everyone in the world wants from their sig other. my reward for providing you with this is you telling me that one of the reasons you wanted to leave me (which seemed to change hourly because you were trying to convince yourself you were doing the right thing), was because I would "always love you regardless". so you leave me for someone who more less expects you to be almost a completely diff person in order to be with him. you Will claim it was because you wanted to change, to be a better person and he would help you with that somehow. then you tell me the last time I see you that you like him because he "saves you from yourself", then say "I wouldn't be out here setting off fireworks in the woods if I were with him". now I'm not the smartest man in the world...but that doesn't sound like your changing. if you changed, then the thought of setting off fireworks in the woods wouldn't cross your mind, and even if it did, you wouldn't go through with it if that's so bad...which it isn't but w/e. what's my point...he has no effect of you changing. you act differently when you are around him because that's how you keep him comfortable...but you'd rather make someone else comfortable and not yourself, which is what your doing when your not being yourself wether you want to hear it or not. you'd rather be with someone you can't be yourself around instead of the person you claim "will love you regardless"? that's almost as ****ing dumb as forcing a relationship to work with some you KNOW you aren't compatible with...and then for you to cry when it inevitability ends...like you didn't see it coming is even more dumb. but I digress...you can't and won't change because of somebody else...you simply adapt to being around that person. when that person instead around and you can't keep up whatever "change" you've made, that is proof of that. if your going to change it has to be something you do for YOURSELF, not someone else. all the changes I've made, in the beg were to try to win you back, but in the end were things I did and continued to do because they made me a better person. yet I am still myself; I still do what I want...your relying on someone else to change YOU and help you with your SELF-control...its called SELF-control for a reason dummy =P I don't know what runs through your head, but you just make some irrational decisions. you are on the verge of loosing the one person who no matter what has always been there for you, even when you punched me in my mouth, wanted nothing but the best for you. the one person who flaws and all has accepted you and put up with your craziness. you are extremely close to losing that, and no I'm not using scare tactics to try and sway you, just.....telling it like it is. I've always have and always will have your best interest in mind...but I can't promise I will always be at your disposal, especially when you don't feel that I should be a priority in your life. there are plenty of people willing to make me their priority and if you can't fight to make me your priority the way I always have for you up until a week ago...despite all the bull****...then I will focus all of my attention on making someone else my priority. I love you, I always will...but things have been your way for too long and I'm not a 16 any more. if you can't get your emotional **** together involving me in the next month, then I am no longest worried about "us", because if I'm not your priority then you sure as hell aren't mine...we've played this game almost 4 years now...be it a happy ending or a sad one, it ends mid August. not saying we need to be in a relationship, but if you can't bring yourself to pledge your allegiance to working on "us" and get rid of him, then again...don't even worry about it. I'm at my white end with this ****...if you want to be elsewhere then you are free to do as you please...but I won't drag this out a day longer. if you can't make your mind up, I'm changing my number and we'll talk at some random point in the future. that's how serious I am...this **** ends. don't reply...take your time to think over what you want. YOU contact ME on July 21st...if I don't hear from you I will assume you still don't know what you want and I'm just going to move on. HER: Today (July 18, 2012) can we be friends? ME: sadly no...goodbye HER: 11:50AM Figures. Shows how much you care. Have a nice life with your future wife. Bye 12:04PM That was your last chance. Please dont contact me again 12:06PM You have literally hurt me beyond repair and I will never be the same ME: I don't understand how your trying to flip this on me...I told you what the deal was in my long ass text I sent you and you come at me asking to be friends. how do you turn me down, then flip **** on me because I don't want to just be your friend HER: not doing this today ME: simply answering your question I'm past arguing. if you can't make me a priority then I won't make you mine anymore. you have chosen him over me for the 4th time now, so I'm letting you have that free and clear. since you have AGAIN made you decision, I am summoning up the self respect to not be number 2. I told you what the deal was...all or nothing. you still choose him so I want you to be happy. I can't be friends with someone I still have feelings for. she has nothing to do with this, I'm more less single at this point. I have to Mich other stuff going on to be stressing out over what your doing so I'm being a man and letting go so you can achieve the happiness you've been after that I obviously don't provide you with. so no arguing, I'm happy for you and your apparent happiness. but you can't have us both, so please enjoy my gift of freedom that was about 30min ago and I haven't heard anything. honestly, as much as I do kinda care, i kinda don't care if she responds also. in my mind she's trying to manipulate me which i have always let her do unknowingly...now that I'm my own person and see it for what it is I am capable of not letting her do it as much. either way what do you all get from this.
utterer of lies Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Stop writing these texts. Seriously, what's wrong with you? 1
Quiet Storm Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 I think your message to her was way too wordy and dramatic. Pointing out her contradictions and your observations regarding why she behaves the way she does is only going to push her further away. You are trying to sell yourself as being better than the other guy. It comes off as desperate. You may be right in everything you say about him, but confident men KNOW they are better, they don't have to convince others of it. It just shows. She knows you and what you have to offer. She doesn't want it. Let her go.
january2011 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Wow, agree with the others, too wordy. You could go play a whole tennis mach with these "one last thing..." texts. Nip it in the bud now. Don't respond to anymore digs, accusations, etc. Delete without reading and block (if available).
It's Just Me Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 You are obviously still hurting, but... if you broke up eight months ago, there's nothing more to say. Keep your dignity by stopping all contact, and move on. The best revenge is a life well-lived.
veggirl Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Agreed with the others, your texts are waaaay too long and dramatic and they show that you absolutely do still care. Just go NC. Don't respond to her, you are hoping to get back some kind of "I want you back" type of response is how I read all that. Seriously I can't believe the first one was a TEXT, it looks like a letter....and saying how you still want nothing but the best for her even though she PUNCHED YOU...it just all reeks of desperation.. Please go NC for your own sake.
snug.bunny Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 I think it's great. You should also show it to your CURRENT GF and see what she thinks. Maybe she can help edit it for you...
MarlyStar Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Chances are she didn't even read the whole text or if she did, she just scanned it. You typed all that on a tiny little iphone keyboard? I'm impressed. The thing is: you can't LOGIC someone into loving you, liking you or being attracted to you. All you were missing were the pie charts. Even if you were 100% right, it won't matter because attraction and love isn't based on rational calculation, it's based on feeling and the feeling is gone. Also--8 months after she broke up with you, you write this? What's the deal with that? I'm surprised she even answered. Sort of interesting that she did. I think most people would have just deleted your text without reading or answering it. I'm not saying that her answer means she still cares; more likely it means she's still angry with you for something and thus is playing the "I'm a bigger victim than you are" game. 1
MarlyStar Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 Also your second paragraph is very close to bullying. What you are saying is she will never find someone who loves her the way you do. You also insult her for being 'crazy' and for her '****'. And there's no getting around that you are threatening her. And the name calling: she's stupid and irrational and you don't know what's going on in her fcking head... (not that it's any of your business). You can't bully and threaten someone into loving you.
MarlyStar Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 the one person who flaws and all has accepted you and put up with your craziness. you are extremely close to losing that, and no I'm not using scare tactics to try and sway you, just.....telling it like it is. Yes, you are using scare tactics to try and sway her. And you are telling her that no one will love inadequate her as much as you--and that's not true. She is better off with someone who has a higher opinion of her than you. . I've always have and always will have your best interest in mind...but I can't promise I will always be at your disposal, especially when you don't feel that I should be a priority in your life. there are plenty of people willing to make me their priority . You don't have HER best interests in mind writing this: you have YOURS. And you are trying to make her jealous. Well if she's chosen someone else over you FOUR times now, and has LEFT you, I think she's probably willing to take the risk that you will find someone else. You need to get a clue. t..and if you can't fight to make me your priority the way I always have for you up until a week ago...despite all the bull****...then I will focus all of my attention on making someone else my priority. She's not going to 'fight' for you. She left you and found someone else. Again--you need to get a clue. If she broke up with you, she's not asking to be your priority. It's not nice at all the way you let her know that she's full of bull but you are so noble and superior you will overlook that--it's downright condescending and again verges on abuse. I wouldn't be surprised if she wouldn't prefer you focus on making someone else a priority and leave her in peace. People don't NEED texts like that. You owe her an apology, you were out of line: disrespectful, pushy, borderline abusive, condescending, offensive and insulting. Think about it and see if you can acknowledge to yourself why she broke it off with you.
MarlyStar Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 simply answering your question I'm past arguing. Your entire two texts were nothing BUT arguing. Anybody but you can see that. you have chosen him over me for the 4th time now, so I'm letting you have that free and clear. Here you come off as a control freak. You cannot LET her have that free and clear. She gets it free and clear with or without your permission. She has the RIGHT TO CHOOSE HIM OVER YOU without your approval. You are so out of line here. You need to learn boundaries, and while she is a lost cause, if you don't learn boundaries you will mess up every relationship you ever have. You are way over the line here. Way. ... you have chosen him over me for the 4th time now, so I'm letting you have that free and clear. since you have AGAIN made you decision, I am summoning up the self respect to not be number 2. Keep summoning. Summon harder...and stop sending these texts and emails. Summon, summon, and summon some more. ... I told you what the deal was...all or nothing. you still choose him so I want you to be happy. I can't be friends with someone I still have feelings for. She's going to choose nothing. And apparently for 8 months you have been willing to be friends and ignore your own 'all or nothing' approach to her. Otherwise this text wouldn't exist. ...so I'm being a man and letting go so you can achieve the happiness you've been after that I obviously don't provide you with. ... so please enjoy my gift of freedom... Again, boundaries. You are not the deity to bestow free will and happiness and freedom on her. She has those things without your permission. Her freedom is not your gift. You really REALLY need to get over yourself. ...in my mind she's trying to manipulate me which i have always let her do unknowingly...now that I'm my own person and see it for what it is I am capable of not letting her do it as much. either way what do you all get from this. You, sir, are desperately trying to manipulate her. The entire texts are all about manipulation. She's not manipulating you. You are manipulating her, and then you came here hoping to get our feedback on how well it's likely to work since she's not responding. You don't strike me as being your own person. You strike me as being obsessed and a little disturbing. FWIW, that's what I get from this.
notaneatfreak Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 She was waiting for a ring and she never got it. That is why she is pissed.
The Way I Am Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 What are you hoping to get out of these correspondance? Do you want her back? If so, why would you want someone who dumped you for someone else? 1
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