Soozyq Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 I guess a bit of background is in order, my husband And I have been together for 20 yrs, married for just 5 of those years, we have a son, he's 19. My husband Has always been on the quiet side, I knew that. Over the years I have always tried to solve our problems, it has led To many arguments, he rarely gets mad but when he does it's Personal.. He says things that feel like an attack. Just recently we had an argument and I said I was leaving To go live with my daughter out of state. I am so tired of trying To get him yo open up, to share what he's feeling, not in anger. I poured my heart out to him, telling him how alone I feel, that I don't Feel we have a connection, he is so emotionally withdrawn. He finally spoke and said that I did something 19 years ago, that He can't get out of his head. I listened, didn't yell or shut him down, When he was done, I asked if I could explain. So I did. When we first started living together, I never knew how he felt, What I meant to him.. I felt in the dark. I was young and In a desperate attempt to get some feeling out of him I told him A girlfriend and I were going out and I was gonna look for A guy for some attention. I know it was mean, and childish. I had no real intention of finding another man, never even went out. This is what he just told me that he has kept hold of all these years. Apparently he has kept himself from me al this time. How do I deal with this?
wow04 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Wow!! He has held that in and against you for 19 years? In my opinion you both were wrong. You for saying it and him for keeping it in all these years. Is marriage counseling an option?
Author Soozyq Posted July 18, 2012 Author Posted July 18, 2012 We have tried counseling a couple of times, the first time When we were given se homework to do , he didn't even Try to do it after a few more sessions we just quit. The second time was kinda the same, he gets so defensive, crosses his arms sectors his chest, will even say , I don't see any problem.. Which is a favorite response to any problem I mention. I am at the end of my rope and he's playing video game, right now. Thx for responding
wow04 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Does he want to work on this? Does he want the relationship to get better?
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