Anela Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 So I can understand her frustration in that she seems to have met a good guy and he comes up with this crap out and it's like wtf, are you 19? does it look like we met at a bar? are we online dating? and people are defending this guy and don't cut out the guys or hold ill will because that's the best you think a man can do? really? and as men that's how we should always operate because we have a penis? ffs...whole worlds going to crap, fk it! I mean really, what's the whole point of anything with expectations and the bar set so low? Agreed. (I hate that ten character warning, when there's a whole paragraph quoted above!) 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Holier than thou stuf again... AGREED. IDK, maybe it isn't so much redrobins outlook [ok, I do completely disagree with her outlook] but also the fact that she asks for advice and doesn't at least try to understand other outlooks. I don't really care either way, but don't go making me out to be a liar and slut just because you like to plump people into your black and white categories, so to speak. She talks down to those who don't agree, and comes off as if she is SEWWWWW much better than everyone else.
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 AGREED. IDK, maybe it isn't so much redrobins outlook [ok, I do completely disagree with her outlook] but also the fact that she asks for advice and doesn't at least try to understand other outlooks. I don't really care either way, but don't go making me out to be a liar and slut just because you like to plump people into your black and white categories, so to speak. She talks down to those who don't agree, and comes off as if she is SEWWWWW much better than everyone else. I know how to sew too. Have a closet full of evening gowns that I made myself... a couple from patterns I created. You? ... probably not. Too busy lining up all those dates with neo-nazi's and impressing your boss by lining up dates with customers. That's professional!
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I know how to sew too. Have a closet full of evening gowns that I made myself... a couple from patterns I created. You? ... probably not. Too busy lining up all those dates with neo-nazi's and impressing your boss by lining up dates with customers. That's professional! I thought you blocked me? Or am I just THAT irresistible?
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 ... back on ignore, twinkle toes... Awwww I am just THAT irresistible! You couldn't help but see what I had been saying.
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Ladiez...Ladiez...nothing a bikini mud wrestling match can't resolve... But It's more likely that William the moderator will come shut that down too 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Ladiez...Ladiez...nothing a bikini mud wrestling match can't resolve... But It's more likely that William the moderator will come shut that down too Only whores would stoop so low!
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Only whores would stoop so low! Damnit, I forgot to put classy bikini mud wrestling! You got me this time Batman!
MrNate 2.0 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Damnit, I forgot to put classy bikini mud wrestling! You got me this time Batman! Is this even possible?
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 (edited) Damnit, I forgot to put classy bikini mud wrestling! You got me this time Batman! I know I would win anyway. (edited to remove my shameless list of accomplishments/hobbies/interests that guys don't care about) Sorry, no bikini pics either. What a buzz kill, eh? Edited July 26, 2012 by RedRobin
MrNate 2.0 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I know I would win anyway. (edited to remove my shameless list of accomplishments/hobbies/interests that guys don't care about) Sorry, no bikini pics either. What a buzz kill, eh? I sure was about to comment on this too. Good catch.
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I know I would win anyway. (edited to remove my shameless list of accomplishments/hobbies/interests that guys don't care about) Sorry, no bikini pics either. What a buzz kill, eh? Wait a minute here...there are some hobbies that count! Like yoga, pilates, aerobics and massage therapy...let's not be too judgmental now...there are some exceptions! And If you wear big hats...guys like big hats. 2
ThaWholigan Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Wait a minute here...there are some hobbies that count! Like yoga, pilates, aerobics and massage therapy...let's not be too judgmental now...there are some exceptions! And If you wear big hats...guys like big hats. And don't forget Brazilian Jiu Jitsu A bit of horizontal chi sao never hurt anyone :love:
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Wait a minute here...there are some hobbies that count! Like yoga, pilates, aerobics and massage therapy...let's not be too judgmental now...there are some exceptions! And If you wear big hats...guys like big hats. Funny guy!!
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 (edited) Is your style to talk about sex before engaging in sex? I don't mean breathy words in the moment, but rather frank talk about STD's, feelings, etc. This opinion presumes LTR-centric focus. If I missed something in that regard, apologies. I thought about this somemore... You have a VERY good point here... and something I've been missing in my screening process... or at least not being aware of it directly. I always have a discussion about STD's early... It isn't difficult when I'm snuggling or getting affectionate to start thinking and talking about it... but two things stand out here. One, is the fact that I'm always the one initiating this discussion with the men I've ultimately ended up putting aside. Second... I mentioned up thread that I insist on joint testing at a local health clinic before we have sex, and that this discussion has been very eye-opening in uncovering these men's sexual habits and intentions. Not to mention the time it takes to get into a clinic. They will have to take time off of work, etc. It is a big chore for guys who are not serious about entering a relationship. This method works great. (but ladies... make sure you make him follow through... don't get all excited just because he says "yea, that sounds like a good idea." See if he participates actively in this process... trust me... it is VERY revealing!) These guys start pushing, without initiating any of the STD talks/action... or they set up situations where things could go that direction... also without talking about this. This is a very good point... canary looks like this... Big Bird - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Edited: The guy I'm talking about in this thread has not initiated any such discussion.. and while there has been some affection, it is not to the point where we have talked about STDs. Yet he's suggesting an activity where it is possible for things to get carried away. THIS is what I mean about things being pushed along before sufficient 'intimacy' has occurred. Not just intimacy in feelings/emotion... but very practical matters when it comes to health. (shakes head) ... ok... I'm going to calm down now... it is all so clear now... and I understand now that I don't have to be 'upset' with these guys... not even internally. They are showing me in a bazillion ways how they feel about sex and are showing me how casual they are about it. And my instincts are correct... and I don't need to be scared and angry with them. Because if they shared my values, or even came close, they would want reassurance too. And it would be a natural progression... But it isn't... and that's why. And I didn't know why this freaked me out so much before, but I know now. (deep breath) Edited July 26, 2012 by RedRobin
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 It's all so clear now... Why I'm so annoyed with the race to the bedroom and guys who push early... even indirectly. They are making ME do all the emotional work (I'm supposed to 'trust' they are a good guy without them proving it). And they are expecting me to initiate the discussions around STD's, etc (!!!). Wow. This amazing sense of peace just washed over me. I don't need to be angry anymore. Even though I've been sending them on their way gently, and with respect (as annoyed, disappointed, etc I may be on the inside)... I don't even need to feel any of those things... at least not longer than the 30 seconds or so it might take me to process what he is asking... Sorry... wow... I'm just a little giddy here. How easy this is...
Emilia Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I think it's interesting how women believe in early-sex yet how many men do you think you've got to go through just to find a relationship by "chance"? Because at best that's what you were doing..rolling the dice, you didn't know anything then and you don't know anything now, even If it happened to last a while longer or even got married out of it. I'm sure I could go to Vegas and lay 5 grand on a table and If I won I'd run around the block screaming how everyone should invest in BlackJack, it works, look at me I doubled my money! Now most people who try that same strategy are likely going to lose, because house odds aren't 50/50, what do you think the percentage of these men you are sleeping with are actually looking for a relationship? likely much less than you thought and especially with you but you're foolish enough to believe him because he was it wasn't, then the guy backs away and leaves on good terms so you think It just "didn't work out"...ha! do you know how many men frolic in that little grey are you think is a variable when it's more of an absolute...because they were absolutely just trying to fk you! and that was that from the beginning to the end, regardless. Relationships that start off based on sex and "chemistry" are just as likely to fizzle out as anything else, they're just certain elements and compatibilities...but relationships aren't about making some things fit, it's actually about the big picture....do you get that? you can't just incorporate some elements you deem more worthy than others or pump those qualities you do match on and think you can get away with running a ****ty relationship based on sex that's only working because penis is going into vagina for 50 percent of the relationship! of course it's fking great especially IF you have good sexual chemistry! how many people don't like that? I know love that and my sex drive is high rather than low, you'd think the first thing I'd try to do is "test sexual chemistry" but when you're experienced you know how that ***** goes, great sex doesn't equal great relationship! wait till it gets real, you'll see If you're really cut out for each other, If I based relationships off sexual chemistry and I'd be totally ****ed because I'd falling in love with women who did porn! Anyway ::sips tea::... you are supposed to screen the man BEFORE you start dating, not during, is that such a hard concept for many to understand??? As thatone said, don't date stupid people, that's how you screen them out, not by making them wait for sex In the USA the dating culture appears to be dating any Tom, Dick and Harry regardless of their character and personality and then there is the surprise that the majority turn out to be morons or not trustworthy. Some of us are smart enough to figure out a guy before we have a drink with him rather than use sex as some kind of prize. Jeeez, I had seriously thought this wasn't rocket science :confused: * sips tea *
Emilia Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Damnit, when are you going to stop posting stuff I like? It's a very preaching post but based on assumptions about stupid people in my opinion.
Dusk1983 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 RR, you strike me as one of those people who needs to talk about themselves endlessly simply because you have no other way to organise your thoughts and feelings. Every day brings a new revelation about oneself. Me, me, me, and my feelings. Am I right? It must be exhausting for you, because it's certainly exhausting for everyone else.
Emilia Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 all of that ASSUMES that both people involved aren't smart enough to control their own emotions. so the response to the entire post above is? don't date stupid people. as for the rant about men not putting any effort into getting laid...you been on another planet for the past 30 years or something? what, you expect me to plan exotic vacations and shower with gifts and attention a girl who only has any semblance of a REAL relationship with the facebook app on her cell phone? wake up man, women are no different than men, everyone gets what they deserve and not more a smidge more. women are not unique snowflakes owed their white knight fantasy just by virtue of having boobs and a vagina. nor are men owed a supermodel mute who LOVES getting them a beer while they watch football and play on their playstations in between blowjobs. that sh*t doesn't exist. if you want exceptional you better be exceptional in some way. and rationalizing insecurity is not exceptional in any way, it's the behavior of the 99%, not the 1%, to borrow from current events. Seriously. This thread makes me feel I'm the guy that drives in the wrong way in the motorway or something.
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 (edited) FTR, I think Thatone's girlfriend is stupid for having sex with him on their first weekend together... if that is truly when they first met. Now, if there are other things he is conveniently leaving out of the picture for the sake of making an argument for early sex, then let's hear it. Like, how long did he know her and talk to her before he met her in person? Do they have a shared past of any kind? Friends, family, hometown, college... anything? Because my last BF and I had many long phone discussions... and a number of dates where we assessed compatibility... and had a shared history (he knew a good friend of mine). We'd already had the STD talks... talked about goals and values... had covered many of those things before becoming intimate... and I knew he was telling the truth because he'd demonstrated consistency in words and actions... not only with me... but with people I knew. I also had observed him around other people too, by then. And observed him to be a person others respected and cared about. it was ME who invited him over to MY house... and yea... we got 'carried away' and it was great. All things considered. And while he and I were not suited for marriage (that is why we broke up), he has been one of my best friends. These other guys I'm talking about? Not so. They don't want to put in the effort to get to know me... obviously... so, this is NOT a discussion about when to have sex... It is a discussion about how people manage responsibility and what information they need about someone prior to becoming intimate with them. If you care to jump off of buildings without a parachute, that is your choice. I'd rather not. Nor do I want some guy standing down on the ground shouting 'JUMP!!!" or daring me to just so I can prove how 'liberated' and open minded I am about sex. Now THAT is stupid. Edited July 26, 2012 by RedRobin
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 RR, you strike me as one of those people who needs to talk about themselves endlessly simply because you have no other way to organise your thoughts and feelings. Every day brings a new revelation about oneself. Me, me, me, and my feelings. Am I right? It must be exhausting for you, because it's certainly exhausting for everyone else. Nope. Not correct. But... if you think that starting two threads (since coming here in Feb/March) where I talk about myself and what I'm struggling with constitutes 'daily', then I guess that's your choice. On the other hand... I do think that keeping a journal might be a better way to sort things out when issues arise rather than come to LS. Too much 'noise' in here.
Emilia Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 so, this is NOT a discussion about when to have sex... It is a discussion about how people manage responsibility and what information they need about someone prior to becoming intimate with them. Sort of a discussion about when to have sex in the sense that it's not really worth putting it on such a high pedestal. You should have sex with him when you are ready but I think you would do yourself a favour if you didn't attach such huge importance to it. I think you view it as some kind of submission on your part. If you care to jump off of buildings without a parachute, that is your choice. I'd rather not. Nor do I want some guy standing down on the ground shouting 'JUMP!!!" or daring me to just so I can prove how 'liberated' and open minded I am about sex. Now THAT is stupid. Sure doing something you don't want is stupid. I do get the impression however that it is more to do with what you think people will say about you 1
Emilia Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Nope. Not correct. But... if you think that starting two threads (since coming here in Feb/March) where I talk about myself and what I'm struggling with constitutes 'daily', then I guess that's your choice. On the other hand... I do think that keeping a journal might be a better way to sort things out when issues arise rather than come to LS. Too much 'noise' in here. Agree. This is your thread, you can say what you want, people don't have to read it
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