Author RedRobin Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 If it scares people that women can have sex without emotion... or that the very fact that it is 'early' can make a woman go dead for a man emotionally... Well, it should scare men. It should scare most men into coming up with their own reasons to vet a woman's character and develop an emotional bond BEFORE sex.. instead of just jumping into bed ASAP.
Heart Of A Lion Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 If it scares people that women can have sex without emotion... or that the very fact that it is 'early' can make a woman go dead for a man emotionally... Well, it should scare men. It should scare most men into coming up with their own reasons to vet a woman's character and develop an emotional bond BEFORE sex.. instead of just jumping into bed ASAP. I approach sex in the exact same way that you do. I hold out sex too until I know her feelings for me run deeper than just looks. But the part where I feel a need to pump and dump someone is lacking in my character. That does is not in my nature. You explain that capable of hurting someone, yet you don't care that you did it. You also say that you view them as subhumans. (walking dildos) That is why I feel you have a mean streak.
Author RedRobin Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 If only you knew. Good, then you have nothing to worry about. The guys I'm complaining about are the ones pushing for sex before establishing intimacy. If you are not one of those guys, then you are very smart. The example I mentioned above came about in dating situations where I felt some connection... but not enough to really establish intimacy. I tried to be this 'other way' that some people keep pushing here.. and I just can't do it. It scared me and bothered me that I would just go dead that way. Other relationships where there was more time to get to know the person in advance, it wasn't like that at all.
Heart Of A Lion Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 Fixed some typos/errors: I view sex in the exact same way that you do. I want to hold out sex too until I know her feelings for me run deeper than just looks. But the part where I feel a need to pump and dump someone is lacking in my character. That does is not lie in my nature. You explain that you are capable of hurting someone, yet you don't care that you did it (you find it boring when they're hurt). You also say that you view them as subhumans. (walking dildos) That is why I feel you have a mean streak.
Author RedRobin Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 I approach sex in the exact same way that you do. I hold out sex too until I know her feelings for me run deeper than just looks. But the part where I feel a need to pump and dump someone is lacking in my character. That does is not in my nature. You explain that capable of hurting someone, yet you don't care that you did it. You also say that you view them as subhumans. (walking dildos) That is why I feel you have a mean streak. I was being very graphic in my description of how it felt, from a woman's perspective, to go emotionally dead... and that it is possible... ... and why men should come up with their own reasons and ways to insure a woman really cares for him before jumping into bed. I did care that I did it. Very much so. I cared enough not to do it again, and avoid men who push for early sex like the plague. shoot, half this thread is about telling me I need to just jump in and have sex without knowing the guy.... or put myself in positions where it could happen... I keep telling them why that is a bad idea and they keep jumping on me.
xxoo Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 Guys who are open and looking for a real connection don't push for sex before trust and intimacy are established... or do 'slut' tests. No, they don't. But they may be open to early sex with someone they feel an early connection to, with sex deepening the connection. Isn't that what you say happened with you and your ex?
Heart Of A Lion Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I did care that I did it. Very much so. I cared enough not to do it again, and avoid men who push for early sex like the plague. shoot, half this thread is about telling me I need to just jump in and have sex without knowing the guy.... or put myself in positions where it could happen... I keep telling them why that is a bad idea and they keep jumping on me. When you put it like that, I'm on your side. I can't disagree with that, because that simply makes sense. I am of the same mindset you are in that regard. Some of your remarks struck me as mean though, but perhaps you meant that differently from the way you expressed it. I agree with a lot of things that you've been saying, but at times you seem very cold. It's almost scary how cold you can talk about men. It brings shivers down my spine to be honest. You make it seem like no man will ever be good enough. To such an extent that I was surprised you said something positive to me or that you agreed with me. But perhaps like you said, people have been piling up on you in this thread and you needed to be more graphic to make your point.
Author RedRobin Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 No, they don't. But they may be open to early sex with someone they feel an early connection to, with sex deepening the connection. Isn't that what you say happened with you and your ex? He was different... and it wasn't THAT early. I used him as an example because of the movie/house connection. One thing that tipped the balance in his favor was that in our first few conversations, I found out he dated a good friend of mine... he didn't know she and I were friends. Just something that came out when talking about our volunteer work. He was (and is) a good guy. I did ask her permission before continuing to see him though... so as not to harm my friendship with her. They had been broken up for a couple of years by then, and she had a new BF, so it was no big deal. All things considered though... we probably should have stayed friends and not dated. We are good friends now, and I'm glad for that... but a few more discussions and due diligence was in order beforehand.
Lonely Ronin Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 shoot, half this thread is about telling me I need to just jump in and have sex without knowing the guy.... or put myself in positions where it could happen... I keep telling them why that is a bad idea and they keep jumping on me. actually I think you aren't reading what people are saying. Other than one or two people most people have stated you shouldn't sleep with this guy, or that they don't care. what pretty much everyone is saying, is that in one way or another you are being paranoid. what proof do you have that he intends to try ad push you for sex?
Author RedRobin Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 When you put it like that, I'm on your side. I can't disagree with that, because that simply makes sense. I am of the same mindset you are in that regard. Some of your remarks struck me as mean though, but perhaps you meant that differently from the way you expressed it. I agree with a lot of things that you've been saying, but at times you seem very cold. It's almost scary how cold you can talk about men. It brings shivers down my spine to be honest. You make it seem like no man will ever be good enough. To such an extent that I was surprised you said something positive to me or that you agreed with me. But perhaps like you said, people have been piling up on you in this thread and you needed to be more graphic to make your point. I can be and have.. only a couple of times when I was trying out these new dating 'styles' that some people are so fond of. TBH, it scared me too. It scares me enough to run, not walk, from men who push for early sex. There are times I'm tempted to indulge them though, just so they can get a taste of their own medicine. Now THAT would be mean... and that is not the kind of person I want to be. Part of being self-aware means acknowledging one's dark side and taking steps to avoid or correct it, when possible.
Author RedRobin Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 actually I think you aren't reading what people are saying. Other than one or two people most people have stated you shouldn't sleep with this guy, or that they don't care. what pretty much everyone is saying, is that in one way or another you are being paranoid. what proof do you have that he intends to try ad push you for sex? Fine. He'll have plenty of chances to prove it later. I'm not moving anywhere, and I still frequent the places we originally met. If he really wants to get to know me, he will. If not, then oh well. I'm not going over to his house though. That decision has been made.
Lonely Ronin Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 Fine. He'll have plenty of chances to prove it later. I'm not moving anywhere, and I still frequent the places we originally met. If he really wants to get to know me, he will. If not, then oh well. I'm not going over to his house though. That decision has been made. None of this matters, jesus... What matters is that you did exactly what your friends tell you you do. You cut this guy off, and left him probably thinking wtf. Do you understand this point? 1
zengirl Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I answered both of these in my original post. Huh, RR? How could you answer them in your original post, since one has to do with the evolution of this thread? My friend's thoughts and concerns were legitimate. I've addressed these concerns by trying to get to know men in groups or through friends. I've acknowledged that MY mistake with the man I'm talking about here is not taking more time to observe him BEFORE showing an interest in him. That, to me, doesn't seem to relate at all to the observation your male friends make. To me, that's like saying you attempted to fix a leaky faucet with vitamin C. So you and I are clearly not understanding each other in this discussion. If the lesson for you is to avoid showing interest, I guess give that a try, but I fail to see how that relates to solving the ramifications of the appearance of a critical nature that your male friends observed. If you really read the whole thread, you'd have read that I have not done anything mean or disrespectful to him. Not at all. I did read the whole thread. I think considering his character poor or characterizing him as "pushing" for sex based on the sole notion that he invited you over is not respecting him. Clearly we differ on what respecting a person entails. That does not mean I think deciding not to go further with him is disrespectful - merely the harsh way you approach it. I do think that harsh thoughts can disrespect others. Saying someone is not compatible with you is not disrespectful; considering people to be of 'low character' without real cause would seem to me to be a disrespectful act. There is no need to disparage this man at all, let alone men in general as that one post that I highlighted does, in order to say you're not interested in someone with his views. And, yes, I think you did disparage him, along with many people who may view sex differently than you do. I just wonder at the purpose of starting an introspective thread on a trait you'd potentially like to change and then exhibiting the same trait left and right in that thread. I think you have your answer: You don't truly desire to change this trait your friends noticed. You value that trait. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I think it's interesting how women believe in early-sex yet how many men do you think you've got to go through just to find a relationship by "chance"? Because at best that's what you were doing..rolling the dice, you didn't know anything then and you don't know anything now, even If it happened to last a while longer or even got married out of it. I'm sure I could go to Vegas and lay 5 grand on a table and If I won I'd run around the block screaming how everyone should invest in BlackJack, it works, look at me I doubled my money! Now most people who try that same strategy are likely going to lose, because house odds aren't 50/50, what do you think the percentage of these men you are sleeping with are actually looking for a relationship? likely much less than you thought and especially with you but you're foolish enough to believe him because he was it wasn't, then the guy backs away and leaves on good terms so you think It just "didn't work out"...ha! do you know how many men frolic in that little grey are you think is a variable when it's more of an absolute...because they were absolutely just trying to fk you! and that was that from the beginning to the end, regardless. Relationships that start off based on sex and "chemistry" are just as likely to fizzle out as anything else, they're just certain elements and compatibilities...but relationships aren't about making some things fit, it's actually about the big picture....do you get that? you can't just incorporate some elements you deem more worthy than others or pump those qualities you do match on and think you can get away with running a ****ty relationship based on sex that's only working because penis is going into vagina for 50 percent of the relationship! of course it's fking great especially IF you have good sexual chemistry! how many people don't like that? I know love that and my sex drive is high rather than low, you'd think the first thing I'd try to do is "test sexual chemistry" but when you're experienced you know how that ***** goes, great sex doesn't equal great relationship! wait till it gets real, you'll see If you're really cut out for each other, If I based relationships off sexual chemistry and I'd be totally ****ed because I'd falling in love with women who did porn! Anyway ::sips tea::... I don't think RedRobin is being hard on a man that's trying to get a second place at his date...I mean wtf! this guy isn't 21, or 22, or even in his 20's I wouldn't imagine...he's a grown @sss man and really? second date apartment...what do you want to call that? poor effort? poor sense/judgment? a outwardly obvious attempt to have sex? I mean FFS where do some men and women draw the line...instead of men getting better they just want women to be less "uptight" and essentially sluttier so they can get their d!cks wet because they have just as much talent at swooning women as the next guy...It's pathetic, It's sad that the way some men feel is that women should just get easier rather than they rub their little peas for a brain when it comes to attracting or engaging women...you ever think of having a woman want to sleep with you? did that ever cross your mind that was possible? did you ever think you didn't have to force a woman into a situation where she was less likely to say no or that you couldn't control the power of your little weewee and blame him for everything? I mean wtf....this ***** is astonishing! FFS man up, like actually put some quality, character and suave for god sakes to dare I say romancing a woman that you supposedly really like. I completely agree with RedRobin in regards to shutting this guy down...It's sad and disappointing that he made such a immature attempt and building some intimacy, its like men all share the same brain and use the same strategies for gaining interest of a woman and creating sexual tension and those who break away from the mass membrane become apart of the 20 percent and the regular guys gather like a bunch of peasants wanting to crucify those men for having something they do not or least see themselves incapable of. Is RedRobin extremely difficult, should she come with a manual and possibly four years of university to properly jump through the hurdles and hoops that she may want to lay out of front of you? It's seems like it yeah! she isn't necessarily "easy-going" or has the desire to be but she's also probably not as rigid in real life and not that bad of a person, probably someone with good morals and values who is also caring, and I believe she really does want to give these men/love a chance or she wouldn't be here talking to everyone about it...she's probably not great at taking criticism but still listens and takes it anyway in her own way. So I can understand her frustration in that she seems to have met a good guy and he comes up with this crap out and it's like wtf, are you 19? does it look like we met at a bar? are we online dating? and people are defending this guy and don't cut out the guys or hold ill will because that's the best you think a man can do? really? and as men that's how we should always operate because we have a penis? ffs...whole worlds going to crap, fk it! I mean really, what's the whole point of anything with expectations and the bar set so low? 3
ThaWholigan Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I think it's interesting how women believe in early-sex yet how many men do you think you've got to go through just to find a relationship by "chance"? Because at best that's what you were doing..rolling the dice, you didn't know anything then and you don't know anything now, even If it happened to last a while longer or even got married out of it. I'm sure I could go to Vegas and lay 5 grand on a table and If I won I'd run around the block screaming how everyone should invest in BlackJack, it works, look at me I doubled my money! Now most people who try that same strategy are likely going to lose, because house odds aren't 50/50, what do you think the percentage of these men you are sleeping with are actually looking for a relationship? likely much less than you thought and especially with you but you're foolish enough to believe him because he was it wasn't, then the guy backs away and leaves on good terms so you think It just "didn't work out"...ha! do you know how many men frolic in that little grey are you think is a variable when it's more of an absolute...because they were absolutely just trying to fk you! and that was that from the beginning to the end, regardless. Relationships that start off based on sex and "chemistry" are just as likely to fizzle out as anything else, they're just certain elements and compatibilities...but relationships aren't about making some things fit, it's actually about the big picture....do you get that? you can't just incorporate some elements you deem more worthy than others or pump those qualities you do match on and think you can get away with running a ****ty relationship based on sex that's only working because penis is going into vagina for 50 percent of the relationship! of course it's fking great especially IF you have good sexual chemistry! how many people don't like that? I know love that and my sex drive is high rather than low, you'd think the first thing I'd try to do is "test sexual chemistry" but when you're experienced you know how that ***** goes, great sex doesn't equal great relationship! wait till it gets real, you'll see If you're really cut out for each other, If I based relationships off sexual chemistry and I'd be totally ****ed because I'd falling in love with women who did porn! Anyway ::sips tea::... I don't think RedRobin is being hard on a man that's trying to get a second place at his date...I mean wtf! this guy isn't 21, or 22, or even in his 20's I wouldn't imagine...he's a grown @sss man and really? second date apartment...what do you want to call that? poor effort? poor sense/judgment? a outwardly obvious attempt to have sex? I mean FFS where do some men and women draw the line...instead of men getting better they just want women to be less "uptight" and essentially sluttier so they can get their d!cks wet because they have just as much talent at swooning women as the next guy...It's pathetic, It's sad that the way some men feel is that women should just get easier rather than they rub their little peas for a brain when it comes to attracting or engaging women...you ever think of having a woman want to sleep with you? did that ever cross your mind that was possible? did you ever think you didn't have to force a woman into a situation where she was less likely to say no or that you couldn't control the power of your little weewee and blame him for everything? I mean wtf....this ***** is astonishing! FFS man up, like actually put some quality, character and suave for god sakes to dare I say romancing a woman that you supposedly really like. I completely agree with RedRobin in regards to shutting this guy down...It's sad and disappointing that he made such a immature attempt and building some intimacy, its like men all share the same brain and use the same strategies for gaining interest of a woman and creating sexual tension and those who break away from the mass membrane become apart of the 20 percent and the regular guys gather like a bunch of peasants wanting to crucify those men for having something they do not or least see themselves incapable of. Is RedRobin extremely difficult, should she come with a manual and possibly four years of university to properly jump through the hurdles and hoops that she may want to lay out of front of you? It's seems like it yeah! she isn't necessarily "easy-going" or has the desire to be but she's also probably not as rigid in real life and not that bad of a person, probably someone with good morals and values who is also caring, and I believe she really does want to give these men/love a chance or she wouldn't be here talking to everyone about it...she's probably not great at taking criticism but still listens and takes it anyway in her own way. So I can understand her frustration in that she seems to have met a good guy and he comes up with this crap out and it's like wtf, are you 19? does it look like we met at a bar? are we online dating? and people are defending this guy and don't cut out the guys or hold ill will because that's the best you think a man can do? really? and as men that's how we should always operate because we have a penis? ffs...whole worlds going to crap, fk it! I mean really, what's the whole point of anything with expectations and the bar set so low? Damnit, when are you going to stop posting stuff I like? 2
thatone Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 Good for her... and the way you talk about her and how proud you are of your ability to lie... I'd say she made a poor decision and is in for a world of hurt someday when you decide to pull the plug and move on to the next town. ... but that is her choice. i'm about to help her move into a new place (paying half the rent and signing the lease) in anticipation of my moving in with her in a few months when i can get my house finished up and sold. does that sound like i'm on my way out the door? sex isn't the be-all and end-all, but if one party or the other is withholding it, then there can be no further hurdles until that hurdle is out of the way. that's why i agree with emilia that withholding it early is a childish notion, because it doesn't 'do' anything positive for either party. all it does is allow the person withholding some comfort in their insecurity. but you can't build a relationship on distrust and insecurity, so why should anyone try to accommodate the insecurity of a potential partner to appease them? if you appease them now they will hold on to that insecurity forever, and it will come back over and over and over again. i think it a much more logical course of action to tear down insecurity when it presents itself and not allow it to linger over the relationship. if a man isn't getting sex from a woman he's dating then he will not consider any future beyond sex until the sex is on the table. relationships at least to my eyes are task/completion oriented. first date? check. month? check. sex? check. family/friends? check. 6 months? check. moving in together? check. and so forth and so on until you're married to the same person 20 years later and wondering right before your divorce "holy sh*t where did my life go, i f*cking hate you get out" once all of those checks are passed on both sides then people tend to stay together for a long time. if one check fails it has to be dealt with before there's any further progression, or that one check becomes a source of distrust and discontentment. can you buck that trend? sure, you can buck any trend, but it won't be easy, and it will eliminate the vast majority of men from your available pool of potential partners. alternatively you could date overly religious men, who have those 1950s notions about how sex is awful and they need a woman that only he corrupts with that penis he can't bring himself to cut off and throw away.
xxoo Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 Fine. He'll have plenty of chances to prove it later. I'm not moving anywhere, and I still frequent the places we originally met. If he really wants to get to know me, he will. If not, then oh well. I'm not going over to his house though. That decision has been made. That's cool, you shouldn't date him at this point. But he'll probably feel rejected, and won't try very hard to prove anything to you in the future. Will you interpret that as proof he only wanted sex?
Author RedRobin Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 Huh, RR? How could you answer them in your original post, since one has to do with the evolution of this thread? That, to me, doesn't seem to relate at all to the observation your male friends make. To me, that's like saying you attempted to fix a leaky faucet with vitamin C. So you and I are clearly not understanding each other in this discussion. If the lesson for you is to avoid showing interest, I guess give that a try, but I fail to see how that relates to solving the ramifications of the appearance of a critical nature that your male friends observed. I did read the whole thread. I think considering his character poor or characterizing him as "pushing" for sex based on the sole notion that he invited you over is not respecting him. Clearly we differ on what respecting a person entails. That does not mean I think deciding not to go further with him is disrespectful - merely the harsh way you approach it. I do think that harsh thoughts can disrespect others. Saying someone is not compatible with you is not disrespectful; considering people to be of 'low character' without real cause would seem to me to be a disrespectful act. There is no need to disparage this man at all, let alone men in general as that one post that I highlighted does, in order to say you're not interested in someone with his views. And, yes, I think you did disparage him, along with many people who may view sex differently than you do. I just wonder at the purpose of starting an introspective thread on a trait you'd potentially like to change and then exhibiting the same trait left and right in that thread. I think you have your answer: You don't truly desire to change this trait your friends noticed. You value that trait. ... one more time... By choosing to only date men I've observed in groups or through friends, I am developing a more nuanced view of his personality than I have the opportunity to do when we are one-on-one. He chose to push things in a certain direction (his choice)... that changes the dynamic of our getting to know each other. The trait my friends commented on IS addressed quite well... by setting up situations where I have a chance to get to know men without feeling I have to f*cking put-out with strangers in order to get to know them. So, it IS being addressed.
thatone Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I think it's interesting how women believe in early-sex yet how many men do you think you've got to go through just to find a relationship by "chance"? Because at best that's what you were doing..rolling the dice, you didn't know anything then and you don't know anything now, even If it happened to last a while longer or even got married out of it. I'm sure I could go to Vegas and lay 5 grand on a table and If I won I'd run around the block screaming how everyone should invest in BlackJack, it works, look at me I doubled my money! Now most people who try that same strategy are likely going to lose, because house odds aren't 50/50, what do you think the percentage of these men you are sleeping with are actually looking for a relationship? likely much less than you thought and especially with you but you're foolish enough to believe him because he was it wasn't, then the guy backs away and leaves on good terms so you think It just "didn't work out"...ha! do you know how many men frolic in that little grey are you think is a variable when it's more of an absolute...because they were absolutely just trying to fk you! and that was that from the beginning to the end, regardless. Relationships that start off based on sex and "chemistry" are just as likely to fizzle out as anything else, they're just certain elements and compatibilities...but relationships aren't about making some things fit, it's actually about the big picture....do you get that? you can't just incorporate some elements you deem more worthy than others or pump those qualities you do match on and think you can get away with running a ****ty relationship based on sex that's only working because penis is going into vagina for 50 percent of the relationship! of course it's fking great especially IF you have good sexual chemistry! how many people don't like that? I know love that and my sex drive is high rather than low, you'd think the first thing I'd try to do is "test sexual chemistry" but when you're experienced you know how that ***** goes, great sex doesn't equal great relationship! wait till it gets real, you'll see If you're really cut out for each other, If I based relationships off sexual chemistry and I'd be totally ****ed because I'd falling in love with women who did porn! Anyway ::sips tea::... I don't think RedRobin is being hard on a man that's trying to get a second place at his date...I mean wtf! this guy isn't 21, or 22, or even in his 20's I wouldn't imagine...he's a grown @sss man and really? second date apartment...what do you want to call that? poor effort? poor sense/judgment? a outwardly obvious attempt to have sex? I mean FFS where do some men and women draw the line...instead of men getting better they just want women to be less "uptight" and essentially sluttier so they can get their d!cks wet because they have just as much talent at swooning women as the next guy...It's pathetic, It's sad that the way some men feel is that women should just get easier rather than they rub their little peas for a brain when it comes to attracting or engaging women...you ever think of having a woman want to sleep with you? did that ever cross your mind that was possible? did you ever think you didn't have to force a woman into a situation where she was less likely to say no or that you couldn't control the power of your little weewee and blame him for everything? I mean wtf....this ***** is astonishing! FFS man up, like actually put some quality, character and suave for god sakes to dare I say romancing a woman that you supposedly really like. I completely agree with RedRobin in regards to shutting this guy down...It's sad and disappointing that he made such a immature attempt and building some intimacy, its like men all share the same brain and use the same strategies for gaining interest of a woman and creating sexual tension and those who break away from the mass membrane become apart of the 20 percent and the regular guys gather like a bunch of peasants wanting to crucify those men for having something they do not or least see themselves incapable of. Is RedRobin extremely difficult, should she come with a manual and possibly four years of university to properly jump through the hurdles and hoops that she may want to lay out of front of you? It's seems like it yeah! she isn't necessarily "easy-going" or has the desire to be but she's also probably not as rigid in real life and not that bad of a person, probably someone with good morals and values who is also caring, and I believe she really does want to give these men/love a chance or she wouldn't be here talking to everyone about it...she's probably not great at taking criticism but still listens and takes it anyway in her own way. So I can understand her frustration in that she seems to have met a good guy and he comes up with this crap out and it's like wtf, are you 19? does it look like we met at a bar? are we online dating? and people are defending this guy and don't cut out the guys or hold ill will because that's the best you think a man can do? really? and as men that's how we should always operate because we have a penis? ffs...whole worlds going to crap, fk it! I mean really, what's the whole point of anything with expectations and the bar set so low? all of that ASSUMES that both people involved aren't smart enough to control their own emotions. so the response to the entire post above is? don't date stupid people. as for the rant about men not putting any effort into getting laid...you been on another planet for the past 30 years or something? what, you expect me to plan exotic vacations and shower with gifts and attention a girl who only has any semblance of a REAL relationship with the facebook app on her cell phone? wake up man, women are no different than men, everyone gets what they deserve and not more a smidge more. women are not unique snowflakes owed their white knight fantasy just by virtue of having boobs and a vagina. nor are men owed a supermodel mute who LOVES getting them a beer while they watch football and play on their playstations in between blowjobs. that sh*t doesn't exist. if you want exceptional you better be exceptional in some way. and rationalizing insecurity is not exceptional in any way, it's the behavior of the 99%, not the 1%, to borrow from current events. 1
Author RedRobin Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) That's cool, you shouldn't date him at this point. But he'll probably feel rejected, and won't try very hard to prove anything to you in the future. Will you interpret that as proof he only wanted sex? I won't interpret it as anything but a missed opportunity and one less man I need to 'school' or train up. On the other hand... he might decide not to take it personally... to take me at my word that I need to get to know him better and do just that. We shall see. Edited July 25, 2012 by RedRobin 1
Lonely Ronin Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I won't interpret it as anything but a missed opportunity and one less man I need to 'school' or train up. Holier than thou stuf again...
Anela Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Do you screen for character? He has said more than once, that he does.
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Is RedRobin extremely difficult, should she come with a manual and possibly four years of university to properly jump through the hurdles and hoops that she may want to lay out of front of you? It's seems like it yeah! she isn't necessarily "easy-going" or has the desire to be but she's also probably not as rigid in real life and not that bad of a person, probably someone with good morals and values who is also caring, and I believe she really does want to give these men/love a chance or she wouldn't be here talking to everyone about it...she's probably not great at taking criticism but still listens and takes it anyway in her own way. That about sums it up. I admit that posting on LS does bring out part of my personality that I'm trying to fade out. Thank you for the insights. As always, dead on.
Author RedRobin Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 He has said more than once, that he does. yes, I believe that he does too....
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