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OKC: looking for "new friends"


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Posted

If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?

 

I get it though. If all your friends are taken you're not exactly going to go out alone. I'm sure every now and then you could have a girls night and go out somewhere :)

 

If it's any consolation, guys at bars and clubs aren't any good either :(

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Posted
If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?

 

I get it though. If all your friends are taken you're not exactly going to go out alone. I'm sure every now and then you could have a girls night and go out somewhere :)

 

If it's any consolation, guys at bars and clubs aren't any good either :(

 

I am 33.

 

I always meet someone when I go to clubs/bars but all men I met that way this year seemed to be only after casual sex/one night stands. I am not into that at all.

 

I probably have "girls night" once a month if that.

Posted

 

I pretty much work and then just go home .

 

Welcome to my world. Sometimes I look at some of these females profiles on dating sites listing 20+ interests and activities that they do and I think to myself, "say what?".

 

Doesn't anyone just work and go home anymore.

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Posted
Welcome to my world. Sometimes I look at some of these females profiles on dating sites listing 20+ interests and activities that they do and I think to myself, "say what?".

 

Doesn't anyone just work and go home anymore.

 

I KNOW! I am actually turned off by a guy who does numerous activities. Would he expect me to have just as many? Would he judge me if I don't? I just want to chill and live a normal life...

Posted

I theorize that women might do this as a tactful filter to weed out the unattractive ones...if you're not hot enough, then she throws out the "just looking for friends" flag...but if he's hot enough, then it's game on...

Posted

Just Friends sounds better than Activity Partners which just sounds like a euphemism for sex, FWB.

Posted

IME, people do this when they are not looking to play the hookup game or find STRs and have a habit of frequently rejecting contenders due to lacking compatibility. Based on talking to the guys I know, apparently lot of attractive men have to fend off the stereotype that they're out to get laid, and that's one way of doing so. That was Hubby's explanation (much later) but also a few other guys I know who use OLD or whatever. Attractive and perhaps more elusive men seem to do it more as far as I can tell - most of the men who did it had the 'red dot' which means they rarely write back and get written to fairly frequently (for a guy - it seems like more ladies have 'red dots' on OKC for obvious reasons).

 

For what it's worth, Hubby's profile had only "friends" on it when I messaged him. :) Though the REST of his profile made it clear that he was open to meeting someone compatible for romance, as did his messages. (I didn't have to ask about it - he said I was cute in his first message back, so it was obvious.)

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Posted

Yeah, this guy is very attractive. He messaged me first, with possibly the best message I have gotten in months. He also made it clear that he is not into casual sex.

 

I was hesitant to respond at all because of the "looking for friends" thing. But I decided to give it a go and meet with him at least and see what happens.

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