Questions on Solid Inner Confidence

[BlueLove]

Hey guys. I recently made a post about feeling depressed, having a hard time, etc.

 

A bit about myself before I get into the post: I consider myself attractive, well-dressed, funny, adventurous, creative and smart. But or a long time felt insecure about various aspects about myself. When I was a kid my father passed and was raised by a single mother. She did everything she could to provide for us and I respect her for it, but she was a terrible mother. She physically abused me, threatened to embarrass me publicly if I got bad grades, would force me to say I was stupid out loud in our home, kicked me out of the house one or two times when I was a kid, and constantly told me how hard life was for her and how much she sacrificed for me. It was obviously not a great way to grow up and try to find myself in that environment, but I've done the best I can. I don't think about it much anymore, it's just part of my past.

 

For the last 7 or so(more) months I've been feeling severely depressed, feeling like everything is an obstacle, like I've failed before I've tried. To feel better I've considered natural remedies, antidepressants, etc, but have never taken the plunge. I would say many of my problems now also have to do with my financial situation and how it has isolated me in various ways.

 

Basically since the post I made there's been a lot of things going on, one in particular I'd like to share. A friend of mine gave me shroom a few nights ago and had an interesting experience (obviously!). I've done it before though not a lot. This time I took a large stem and very small cap. Those of you who are familiar with the drug know that's not a lot, not enough to trip or hallucinate, you feel it in your body and you feel it mentally.

 

Afterward when the effects were gone and I was back to normal life, I was left with an amazing sense of solid inner confidence. A sense of respect. I saw myself in relation to the world and saw what I needed to do to solve the problems I've been having. When I considered what I had to do, there was a a lack of neurosis that usually plagues me before I've even tried.. the what-ifs, the negative pre-conceived notions of myself, etc. Maybe they were there, but to a lesser extent and much quieter. I just saw the actions I had to take. Even though I was still in the same situation, the mindset was different. I didn't have a pity party, I didn't obsess over my problems or beat myself up over it, at that moment those problems were external and solvable. I had respect for myself, and knew those things didn't define me.

 

Usually my confidence(recently?) is a bit like one of those chocolate easter bunnies you buy at walmart. Big, chocolatey, but hollow on the inside.

 

After this experience I realized how serious the position I've been in is, and how sad, low, and disrespectful I've been to myself. It completely hinders me from living and developing my life and I need help. I don't necessarily want to eliminate sadness, I want to feel solid and secure within myself. My question is, has anyone taken anti-depressants that have yielded these results?

Edited July 18, 2012 by BlueLove

[BlueLove]

Does anyone have experience to share on anti-depressants/therapy or have any advice?

 

 

Also found this info on psilocybin, a chemical found in shrooms found to have anti-depressant effects. Wish it came in pill form.

 

Under the influence of mushrooms, overall brain activity drops, particularly in certain regions that are densely connected to sensory areas of the brain. When functioning normally, these connective "hubs" appear to help constrain the way we see, hear and experience the world, grounding us in reality. They are also the key nodes of a brain network linked to self-consciousness and depression. Psilocybin cuts activity in these nodes and severs their connection to other brain areas, allowing the senses to run free.

 

"Two regions that showed the greatest decline in activity were the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) and the posterior cingulate cortex (PCC). The mPFC is an area that, when dysfunctional, is linked with rumination and obsessive thinking. "Probably the most reliable finding in depression is that the mPFC is overactive," says Carhart-Harris. ... "[Psilocybin] shuts off this ruminating area and allows the mind to work more freely," he says. “That’s a strong indication of the potential of psilocybin as a treatment for depression."

 

"We're not saying go out there and eat magic mushrooms," he said. "But...this drug has such a fundamental impact on the brain that it's got to be meaningful -- it's got to be telling us something about how the brain works. So we should be studying it and optimizing it if there's a therapeutic benefit."

The key areas of the brain identified -- one called the medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) and another called the posterior cingulate cortex (PCC) -- are the subject of debate among neuroscientists, but the PCC is thought by many to have a role in consciousness and self-identity.

The mPFC is known to be hyperactive in depression, and the researchers pointed out that other key treatments for depression including medicines like Prozac, as well as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and deep brain stimulation, also appear to suppress mPFC activity.

Psilocybin's dampening action on this area may make it a useful and potentially long-acting antidepressant, Carhart-Harris said.

 

 

 

Also, although they're fun I seldom take hallucinogens or psychedelics. I'm not a hippie!

Edited July 18, 2012 by BlueLove

[Exit]

Not sure if the mushrooms actually had an anti depressant affect on you or if it was moreso just the typical lowering of inhibitions and inner voices that just about any intoxicating substance can give you. Years ago I messed around with DXM a few times and I remember the afterglow affect you get the day after where you aren't still tripping but definitely still in some sort of altered state, nothing would bother me, life seemed like it made more sense. And even on a smaller scale just an evening with some alcohol will make some of those nagging voices inside shutup.

 

To answer your question, or fail to answer it, I have just never liked the idea of antidepressants so I have yet to try any and cannot confirm or deny that it would have a similar effect. I kind of doubt it though, as I said I think you were experiencing some of the more basic effects of the drug and not that it was really working against your depression.

[denise_xo]

I've taken both anti depressants and mushrooms.

 

On mushrooms, yes I loved the drug and I loved it so much that I decided to stop taking it. But I considered it a purely recreational drug and it wasn't something I ever thought of as a regular treatment against depression.

 

I've taken ADs on two occassions in my life. In both cases, I was very reluctant to go on them, but in both cases I wish I had done it much sooner once I started the treatment. They basically returned me to 'normal', and to a place where I could actively and constructively address my issues rather than swimming around in a pool of mud just trying to barely keep my head above water every day. In both cases, the ADs were accompanied by life style changes, such as cutting all alcohol and cigarettes (the first time around), meditation, exercise, eating healthily, therapy, doing yoga, and trying to face my issues head on.

 

So, if you haven't tried anti depressants I would encourage you to give it a try, but in conjunction with other measures that might improve the quality of your life and with the aim of identifying the root issues that are causing your depression. Good luck

[BlueLove]

I wouldn't use shrooms as an anti-depressant. They can be fun to do, that's about it.

 

How do you get prescribed anti-depressants? I don't have a regular doctor and I'm not sure I can afford to go to a therapist or psychiatrist regularly.

 

I've been severely depressed lately.. barely able to pay my bills and wondering whether it's worth the struggle. Also becoming increasingly bitter and angry that terrible, ****ty people seem to find success easily while people like myself struggle to keep their head above water.

[FitChick]

Read the Lefkoe Institute's website.