broken-and-lost Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Hey Lads and ladies Well it's coming up to two years in september that me and the love of my life finished that the first love rubbish i've just turned 39 so had a few relationships over the years too many really. But this girl was the one i actually planned on marrying have a family kids the usually stuff. I won't go into the break up i'll sum it up to give some context into the problem now. We were together 3 years she was 10 younger. I in about year two came down with a bout of depression due to some suppressed stuff about my childhood that just surfaced from know-where probably triggered as a result of me trying to share everything with this girl about who i am, had really thought about it prior to that. Anyway depression hit i started to get very low acting like a total tool refusing to handout with friends go visit parents insecure most of the crap that is associated with depression. I sort help to sort it out while still in the relationship but it was too late she jumped ship year 3 saying the usual stuff but while i was getting treatment she was out getting someone else and then ended it. so lots of pain for me dealt with two things at same time broken heart / depression. I've had consoling for both broken heart the depression but two years later i still wake up having dreamt about her and i still haven't stopped thinking about her it's feels like its become an obsession, my brain just will not shut it out no matter what i do and it's slowly driving me nuts i haven't help myself as i've reached out to her a few times with letters cards and all the stuff you don't do, but like i say i can't block it out it's a total mess and after almost two years i'm at the end of my rope with it. i've done gym for 6 months solid and hangout with friends a lot tried to spend time with a girl who liked me and everything else suggested on here, i haven't enjoyed any of it spent a good six month just sat on my sofa watching films when i had to take a break from work due to being so messed up. So how the F-u-c-k do i get out of this?? i can't live my life like this if this is all i have left to look forward too i'd rather find that bridge and jump off it
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