is this girl actually interested or just bored?

[johncolorado]

im 26. I met a 30 year old career woman at a club like 10 weeks ago.

 

Cliff notes-

- We didnt kiss till the 5th date. She told me before the kiss she liked me and didnt want to mess it up

-i spent the night on 5th date, but we only went as far as handjob

- same thing happened 6th date

-7th date, she wasnt near as affectionate as the other two dates but we still held hands and such.

 

we have the 8th date scheduled for friday. But I am going to reschedule, because its going to be a rush with her work schedule.

 

anyways, she never initiates text or phone conversations. And we havent had sex yet.

 

she seems fairly interested at times, canceling plans to hang out with me when i ask her out. paying her half. being super sweet and affectionate.

 

But, like other times, i asked her out for sunday and she said she didnt know this far in advance(its tuesday...). so, to me, that is total disinterest when combined with the no initiating of conversations and the no sex.

 

thoughts? am i being sensitive? OR is she just not that interested in me and has just gone out 7 times, going on 8. because there is no one else?

[StrangeBehaviors]

Probably bored and getting more bored.

 

Don't communicate with her at all for a couple of weeks.

 

Interest might pick up. If it does, I would be going for full on sex. If it doesn't happen....move on.

[SJC2008]

Some women are old fashioned and want to be pursued and don't feel comf initiating contact. I dated a women for 3 dates who never initiated once and it killed me because of my lack of exp I thought she wasn't interested. I say just stop analyzing (hard to do) and go with it until it blossoms or falls apart.

[KungFuJoe]

Ok...this is one thing I will never get. How do you go as far as a handjob and not end up rounding the bases completely? Unless you didn't have any place to do it but not one time did I not go all the way when it got past 1st base unless we were in a situation where sex wasn't possible.

 

I mean a girl is jerking off your dick. There really isn't much "distance" between that and having sex.

[johncolorado]

Ok...this is one thing I will never get. How do you go as far as a handjob and not end up rounding the bases completely? Unless you didn't have any place to do it but not one time did I not go all the way when it got past 1st base unless we were in a situation where sex wasn't possible.

 

I mean a girl is jerking off your dick. There really isn't much "distance" between that and having sex.

 

she just vehemetely didnt want to have sex bro. I tried hard on the 5th and 6th date. I laid off on the 7th to switch things up

 

was quite a tease on the 5th, because she is the one who unzipped my pants and took off my belt

Edited July 18, 2012 by johncolorado

[Ninjainpajamas]

She's not into...but she was nice enough to give you the pity hand-job.

 

There's just something about you she doesn't see potential in, but she seems to appreciate your company at times and make a nice filler for a date.

 

You shouldn't bother at this point IMO.

[Snakechammah]

Wow. Only the 7th date and you're expecting to bang a 30 year old successful career woman that easily??? Good luck.

 

She's showing you she doesn't need you but still interested enough to be with you. She's showing her independence (by not initiating contact first) while on the other hand is very much interested by agreeing to all your dates.

 

In my opinion she is a great catch. A woman with dignity and sophistication. She's not any youngin who you can easily bang at the drop of a hat. So she doesn't cave in that easily and I think you should pretty much know her character since you've been hanging out for a while now.

 

She gave you a handjob out of respect for your manhood. She didn't want to reject you - but she is strong enough not to cave in under pressure (she knows what she wants) - thus the "pity" hand job. That pretty much says it all. She CARES about your needs without compromising on her own principles.

 

What do you want? A one night stand or a possible long-term relationship? If it's the former, you can move on now. If it's the latter, you've found a treasure!

 

Good luck.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Wow. Only the 7th date and you're expecting to bang a 30 year old successful career woman that easily??? Good luck.

 

She's showing you she doesn't need you but still interested enough to be with you. She's showing her independence (by not initiating contact first) while on the other hand is very much interested by agreeing to all your dates.

 

In my opinion she is a great catch. A woman with dignity and sophistication. She's not any youngin who you can easily bang at the drop of a hat. So she doesn't cave in that easily and I think you should pretty much know her character since you've been hanging out for a while now.

 

She gave you a handjob out of respect for your manhood. She didn't want to reject you - but she is strong enough not to cave in under pressure (she knows what she wants) - thus the "pity" hand job. That pretty much says it all. She CARES about your needs without compromising on her own principles.

 

What do you want? A one night stand or a possible long-term relationship? If it's the former, you can move on now. If it's the latter, you've found a treasure!

 

Good luck.

 

The lack of initiation in contact? whether through text or phone call.

 

Met her at a club...not exactly screaming "I'm a serious LTR successful career woman who's holding out for sex because of my character"

 

I don't know how a woman sees a handjob, but to a man that's kind of a slap in the face...how much more indirectly can you satisfy a man? what was before that? clothes on clothes dry-humping?

 

Wanes in interest...sometimes all over him, sometimes not...who's needs is she worried about the most here?

 

If you were really into a man and he asked you out for plans on a Sunday would you say it's too far in advance?

 

8th date and there's been a push and pull but no communication but the buffer she instituted in the beginning of the "dating" phase.

 

You call a "handjob" respecting a mans manhood? how many men agree to that?

 

The fact that she hasn't caved could very well be due to lack of attraction...If anything she's trying to "build" this up into something by learning to like him in other ways...and that's her way of "giving him a chance"

 

I could be wrong....since this is based off so little, but the pieces of the puzzle don't add at least to me from what I've heard so far.

[Snakechammah]

The lack of initiation in contact? whether through text or phone call.

 

Met her at a club...not exactly screaming "I'm a serious LTR successful career woman who's holding out for sex because of my character"

 

I don't know how a woman sees a handjob, but to a man that's kind of a slap in the face...how much more indirectly can you satisfy a man? what was before that? clothes on clothes dry-humping?

 

Wanes in interest...sometimes all over him, sometimes not...who's needs is she worried about the most here?

 

If you were really into a man and he asked you out for plans on a Sunday would you say it's too far in advance?

 

8th date and there's been a push and pull but no communication but the buffer she instituted in the beginning of the "dating" phase.

 

You call a "handjob" respecting a mans manhood? how many men agree to that?

 

The fact that she hasn't caved could very well be due to lack of attraction...If anything she's trying to "build" this up into something by learning to like him in other ways...and that's her way of "giving him a chance"

 

I could be wrong....since this is based off so little, but the pieces of the puzzle don't add at least to me from what I've heard so far.

 

LOL, no need to get so worked up darling! Tsk. Bad experience eh?

 

I wrote on the perspective of another woman. THIS is how I see it. If your male brain thinks it's all bullocks, it's your right of opinion. As another woman, who is also a career woman AND goes clubbing, it doesn't mean I want to f*ck any guy I meet at the club... or that I am easy just because I go clubbing.

 

People go to clubbing to dance and socialize with their friends. Not to get f*cked. Just because some do doesn't mean all do. Capiche?

 

Even sluts go to the library ok. Don't generalize.

 

People react in different ways. Just because she said she thinks Sunday is too far in advance doesn't mean she's lost interest. Could be... could also be she has other options which she needed to clarify first before committing. No need to get so upset. Hey, she has cancelled other plans to go out with this guy, it must mean she really likes him.

 

It's as clear as ice. You don't like the handjobs and want something more, go find another girl who would give it up in a heartbeat. She's not for you. The end.

[Ninjainpajamas]

LOL, no need to get so worked up darling! Tsk. Bad experience eh?

 

I wrote on the perspective of another woman. THIS is how I see it. If your male brain thinks it's all bullocks, it's your right of opinion. As another woman, who is also a career woman AND goes clubbing, it doesn't mean I want to f*ck any guy I meet at the club... or that I am easy just because I go clubbing.

 

People go to clubbing to dance and socialize with their friends. Not to get f*cked. Just because some do doesn't mean all do. Capiche?

 

Even sluts go to the library ok. Don't generalize.

 

People react in different ways. Just because she said she thinks Sunday is too far in advance doesn't mean she's lost interest. Could be... could also be she has other options which she needed to clarify first before committing. No need to get so upset. Hey, she has cancelled other plans to go out with this guy, it must mean she really likes him.

 

It's as clear as ice. You don't like the handjobs and want something more, go find another girl who would give it up in a heartbeat. She's not for you. The end.

 

Worked up? I'm as calm as a sea lion sun bathing on some rocks...

 

Secondly, none of this is coming from personal experience, just the way I see the situation objectively, therefore emotionally I'm not invested in this I'm just calling it like I see it.

 

However I wouldn't think It's far-fetched that you take a personal relation to this woman and defend her because you are in fact defending your own behavior (I sense a bit of sentimental support beyond observation)...I think It's safe to say you've definitely got more stake in terms of personal emotions than I do in this.

 

Are you giving men hand-jobs on a regular basis to quell their "needs"?

 

I merely questioned your reasoning for the sake of argument, I could care less what choices are made here and why, just trying to give a clear perspective and reasoning in the event these things matter to someone.

 

As far as how I personally engage and interact with women...trust me, you have no idea.

[Snakechammah]

Worked up? I'm as calm as a sea lion sun bathing on some rocks...

 

Secondly, none of this is coming from personal experience, just the way I see the situation objectively, therefore emotionally I'm not invested in this I'm just calling it like I see it.

 

However I wouldn't think It's far-fetched that you take a personal relation to this woman and defend her because you are in fact defending your own behavior (I sense a bit of sentimental support beyond observation)...I think It's safe to say you've definitely got more stake in terms of personal emotions than I do in this.

 

Are you giving men hand-jobs on a regular basis to quell their "needs"?

 

I merely questioned your reasoning for the sake of argument, I could care less what choices are made here and why, just trying to give a clear perspective and reasoning in the event these things matter to someone.

 

As far as how I personally engage and interact with women...trust me, you have no idea.

 

Is your question meant to insult? Cos it sure sounds like it. Do you have a problem with me defending her?

 

So what if we are in disagreement to what the OP is undergoing? We write our opinions and it's his choice. There is no need to get personal here. I don't care how you interact with women, and I don't question or insult your lifestyle in any way.

 

And if you really do want to know the answer to your question, well, it's obviously none of your business

 

You have the right to tell him to move on, just the same as I am merely giving my two-cents worth about her to the OP. Why you'd had to react so aggressively to my first reply to OP is beyond my comprehension.

 

So that's that. The end. Have a good day.

[truth_seeker]

=

Even sluts go to the library ok. Don't generalize.

 

I need to get to the library more often.

[confusedgirlhere]

Hard to say. It's possible that you are the back up in case the person she is more interested in isn't able to spend time with her.

 

But if she clubs, then it's normal that she would want to wait for full-on sex. The clubbing world is dangerous to the health even when you use protection. Not to mention women can get very attached with sex. Some want to be very sure they are okay with that.

 

I know for me personally, if I am really into a person, it's difficult to go very long without some sex.

 

And hey maybe she is a virgin. You never know.

 

Agree to leave some space, maybe don't contact her quite as fast as usual. See if she is more enthusiastic the next time you reach out.