confused2385 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 (wrote this a week ago 7/10) So I am having a pretty big surgery on wednesday and I had called the ex to try and understand something she had told me regarding the surgery and to my amazement she changed her number. For some reason I am in shock and getting that body tingling again. She is the one who has done all of the terrible things to me and I feel like i'm getting treated like i'm the crazy one. I wish I could just stop caring yet she still remains in my thoughts daily. I hate the triggers of my memories. Maybe i'm sentimental. How can I get past this and why would I feel this way give her changing her number? I appreciate the input from all of you over the past couple months UPDATE as of saturday. just got out of Hospital: So I had my surgery Wednesday and there were quite a few major complications...needless to say I got an email from her friday night and I don't understand why she would send it if she went all the way to change her number. I have no intention of contacting her, but I would be lying if I understood why she sent this...Any thoughts? Just seems pointless and even somewhat cold...I appreciate any input. My name, I hope your surgery went well and that your recovery is fast. (mutual friend name) said you had been texting her about your recovery and having to be in the hospital and that u needed a blood transfusion. I just want you to know that I do care about your well being and wish the best for you. I'm sorry I never called but I felt that talking to you would just make everything more difficult. Anyways i just wanted you to know that..... have a relaxing weekend and rest up that is the best way to bring on the best healing process! Sincerely Her name Only reason I texted the mutual friend is that she is a nurse and I wanted to see if she was on shift at the hospital to come spend some time with me. I told her nothing of the complications so she went fishing to find those
Exit Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 Try to just forget it. It does seem pretty stupid of her to email you after changing numbers. So she thinks "talking would make things more difficult", but sending an email was okay? Basically she is okay with communicating as long as she gets to do it in whatever method she prefers. I wish I could be more positive about this and say that at least she emailed you to wish you well, but I dunno, something about it strikes me as not really having your best interests in mind. But I would try not to dwell on it, take it for what it is, an ex wishing you a successful recovery from surgery.
PoppyLove89 Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 I think she was just being polite? She obviously still cares for your well-being; people may claim she's sending you breadcrumbs but I really don't think that's the case judging by how she wrote to you. (No jokes, no flirting...all very formal if you ask me) The fact she signed the email with 'sincerely' suggests she is keeping a good distance from you, hoping not to get your hopes up. She could have changed her number for many different reasons: maybe her contract was up and she got a new sim card? Maybe she changed providers? Maybe she wants to remain in control as to who may contact her? (ie. sadly not you, else she'd have given you her new number?) I don't mean my reply to sound harsh but I don't think people should be giving you false hope over something so little. Yes, it's easy to read into things: 'she contacted me after 'X,Y,Z' amount of time!' but is it all worth the uncertainty and doubt? The sleepless nights of wondering? I don't think so. You're undoing all your hard work! Move on. Stop thinking too much into things, it'll only set you back! Chin up
Author confused2385 Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 Thanks for all the input. It is appreciated. I know that it can;t and won't work with her, but for some reason I can't accept it and it's literally killing me. Everything is a reminder of her and the good things. I compare it to every new person i'm with or even the mere thought of moving on. This is a person who cheated on me for months had two BF at the same time lidw to both guys and then left me when I became aware of everything. I should see it as a blessing yet I find myself feeling horrible months after the initial BU and coming up on a month since our last connection where everything was so strong...I just want to stop thinking of her and i cant...
PainsChains Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 This is a person who cheated on me for months had two BF at the same time lidw to both guys and then left me when I became aware of everything. I should see it as a blessing yet... No yet's, bro. It is a blessing. See it that way whatever seeing it that way takes. Yeah, you're going to feel horrible and miss her for a while. That's the sinking feeling you get when you genuinely care about someone you've lost. But that feeling doesn't last forever. Just keep paddling your life boat, man. Don't stop. The shoreline is ahead and the sooner you get to land the sooner you can explore new options.
Author confused2385 Posted July 22, 2012 Author Posted July 22, 2012 I like that saying. Thank you. I just hate I can't get her off my mind. Everyday is almost more debilitating. I find myself just waiting and hoping to hear from her even though I know it can't work now. Maybe it's some kind of ego thing or I want to leave her on the ledge and not give her my attention. I don't know I'm just still so confused. This has never happened like this before and I can't seem to move on and accept it and it's causing me to throw my life away
Author confused2385 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 24 hours without checking up on her or her life. Today seemed like a good enough day to try something different and reclaim my life
Author confused2385 Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Made it three days, but I keep having a strong urge to check up today...why can't I just accept it and let go
Recommended Posts