Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I've been with my girlfriend for eight months now and we met at university. Fortune favoured us as we live quite close to one another back home. Soon enough, the summer kicked in. Four months of doing nothing. The only issue is the amount of time and effort she puts aside for me. She gets maybe a day off from work a week and she's usually hungover and unenthusiastic if I do see her. And that's if I do. We often go weeks without contact and that's inexcusable considering we live an hour or so apart by train. She never arranges things with me and I'm always the one to organise us meeting. I think that if I didn't message her first she wouldn't even talk to me. This coupled with the fact that she's not the most affectionate person in the world when we do see one another makes it hard for me to go on like this. As of late, seeking the affections of other women has been crossing my mind.

 

I find myself at a loss when I'm browsing the internet feeling lonely and unappreciated by my girlfriend. We haven't had sex in a month due to our circumstances and even before we went home from university for summer our sex life wasn't as intense as it once had been. My mind wanders when I'm online and while I used to have the ability to masturbate to satisfy myself, I now feel emotionally devoid and I often talk to other girls casually just to have attention from the opposite sex. This has been known to develop into sexual conversation on a couple of occasions, one culminating in a lewd webcam session. I felt wracked with guilt afterwards and vowed never to do that again. Afterall, I genuinely love my girlfriend. I can't imagine life without her at this stage and I can't face losing her just to satisfy my voracious sexual appetite.

 

The problem is, a girl has offered me a completely confidential friends with benefits agreement. I don't know what to do. The things she's described to me plunder into the sexual depths my girlfriend would never consider exploring. Sure she's good in bed but this new girl seems like something else. I'm worried that if I take up this (admittedly appealing) offer I'll either lose my the woman I love or be so wracked with guilt that I lose myself entirely. I have never cheated in a relationship prior to this. I consider myself a thoughtful and intelligent guy and I don't want to regret anything.

 

I know my girlfriend loves me. She just has an odd and unconventional way of showing it. I think she deals with being apart better than I do because she trusts me and doesn't have a void to be filled when I'm not around. I on the other hand can't deal with the lack of enthusiasm she shows. She's very masculine in her mannerisms in terms of being emotionally open and affectionate. Sometimes hanging out with her is like being with a male friend. We make jokes about one another, play video games and eat pizza. It's every guy's dream. Until you realise that you get this fix already with your friends.

 

Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm not a bad guy. I'm just going through a crisis of conscience.

Posted
...The only issue is the amount of time and effort she puts aside for me.... she's usually hungover and unenthusiastic if I do see her. And that's if I do. We often go weeks without contact and that's inexcusable considering we live an hour or so apart by train. She never arranges things with me and I'm always the one to organise us meeting. I think that if I didn't message her first she wouldn't even talk to me....she's not the most affectionate person in the world ... We haven't had sex in a month...

 

 

Did you even read what you wrote?

What you call your girlfriend, is anything but.

Posted

she loves you ? but she doesn't initiate texts or calls or dates to spend time with you , i don't understand how that would work. although some women enjoy the man initiating things this doesnt seem like the case here.

 

you might need to talk about the sex, try and initiate something that might be fun for you both to try to put some fire into the relationship.

 

otherwise it kinda seems as though this relationship isn't working and perhaps is doing you some damage in both sexual and emotional facets of your life.

 

your not a bad guy at all

Posted

You sound pretty single already. You might as well utter a few words and make it official.

Posted

Break up with your gf, then you can screw whoever you want without completely sh*tting on her.

 

She deserves someone who won't make excuses to cheat.

 

Oh, and any woman that knows you are in a relationship and offers FWB is a skank.

Posted
Did you even read what you wrote?

What you call your girlfriend, is anything but.

 

Exactly. Whatever it was, it is no longer.

 

Also, don't waste your time with anyone who makes you feel unappreciated.

What is the point? That is not something which will improve over time.

Posted
Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm not a bad guy. I'm just going through a crisis of conscience.

 

My advice is to think long and hard before engaging in activity which contravenes your ethics and morals. Once done, it can't be undone.

 

My educated guess is that there is fear involved here, fear of abandonment and solitude if you exercise your boundaries. If there was no fear, you'd simply erase her and move on to the next potential. If you have fear, that's valid. Fear can be a strong motivator. You choose where it goes. Good luck.

Posted

Man sometimes I feel that urge too to cheat on my girlfriend as well but I don't go through with it at the end of the day and you wanna know why? Because I love her too much to do that to her and I know you love her and if you do, then you should talk to her about this man

×
×
  • Create New...