Lonely Ronin Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 This a pretty vague question, but what's the first thing that comes to mind when you see a person sitting by themselves at a bar? To be clear, I'm not talking about a PUA at a singles bar/club, or a woman looking for someone to take her home. I'm talking about a regular person in a nice bar. Take last night for example, I was at my favorite bar enjoying a drink while I worked (developer). I love this bar, because it's got a very relaxed and stylish vibe, and they encourage people to come in and just chill. After an hour or so a large group of women walked in. A few looked my way, but none of them where really my type. Later I started to wonder what they thought when they saw me. I've walked into the bar before and seen women setting by themselves working, and the first thing that passes through my mind is to not disturb them. Lets' hear it people, what's your gut reaction to a single person at a bar?
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I don't think anything of it... Then again, I go to the bar alone more often than not! I like it, I meet new people, and the fact that I know almost everyone that works there [i am a regular] makes it always a good time. Sure I meet men, they approach me frequently... I never go to find someone, but that doesn't mean I am too busy to be bothered. *shrug Haha most men find it pretty admirable that a woman such as myself has no problem rolling solo. 2
jobaba Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 This a pretty vague question, but what's the first thing that comes to mind when you see a person sitting by themselves at a bar? To be clear, I'm not talking about a PUA at a singles bar/club, or a woman looking for someone to take her home. I'm talking about a regular person in a nice bar. Take last night for example, I was at my favorite bar enjoying a drink while I worked (developer). I love this bar, because it's got a very relaxed and stylish vibe, and they encourage people to come in and just chill. After an hour or so a large group of women walked in. A few looked my way, but none of them where really my type. Later I started to wonder what they thought when they saw me. I've walked into the bar before and seen women setting by themselves working, and the first thing that passes through my mind is to not disturb them. Lets' hear it people, what's your gut reaction to a single person at a bar? If it's a woman, I call it the golden unicorn. Me and my buds used to look for this back in the day. If we did chat up a woman sitting at a bar by themselves, they were always waiting for somebody, or friends with the bartender or staff. Not in there to look for arse. Often enough, they were nice, but it didn't lead to anything. That's all I look for these days out of the bar scene anyway ... conversation. In terms of men being alone, there's tons, and many are on the prowl.
paperboy48 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Sure I meet men, they approach me frequently... I never go to find someone, but that doesn't mean I am too busy to be bothered. *shrug Haha most men find it pretty admirable that a woman such as myself has no problem rolling solo. Does anything ever evolve from you at a bar by yourself?
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Does anything ever evolve from you at a bar by yourself? Meaning do any of the men I meet I end up dating? Of course, if things seem to be going well conversation wise and he works up the courage to get my number I will usually give it. Whether or not they contact me after that is up to them.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 If it's a woman, I call it the golden unicorn. You must be going to the wrong bars then, because I see it all the time.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 Haha most men find it pretty admirable that a woman such as myself has no problem rolling solo. If they are interested, it makes walking up to talk with you a lot less nerve racking.
phineas Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I went out on my own last summer. There is a nice patio bar I like that usually has a game on the big screen or karaoke night. I had mid 20's women starting conversations with me. It was weird. Not a lot of people my own age just hanging out in bars these days though.
iris219 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 My first impression would be that the guy is confident and independent, which would make me more interested in him versus if he had come in with a group. Now if he's one of those guys who just sits there alone and never looks up, well, that's just annoying, unless he isn't single, which is what I would assume. Women probably aren't judged as positively just because it's so rare to see them out alone, at least where I live. My biggest fear about going out alone would be that no one would talk me and I'd sit there alone all night. I don't want to put on makeup and cute clothes to stare at my drink and and not talk to anyone. I would hope someone approaches me. I need to get the nerve up to go out alone. I should try it at least once this summer. I'm not sure how women alone at bars are perceived though.
Bob_Funk Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 If you're female, it's fine. Even welcome, since it means one less hurdle for the guys to overcome. For a guy, it's considered creepy. If you're going to go out alone, clubs are probably the lesser of two evils. They're so dark and crowded, no one will even notice.
iris219 Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 If you're female, it's fine. Even welcome, since it just means one less hurdle for the guys. For a guy, it's considered creepy. If you're going to go out alone, clubs are probably the lesser of two evils. They're so dark and crowded, no one will even notice. I disagree. It's pretty common and totally acceptable for a guy to go to a bar alone. I would think nothing of it, or I wonder what his story is (in a good way). I almost never see women out alone, but I suspect they are judged more negatively than men. I don't go to clubs or date people who do, but going to a club alone seems much odder than going somewhere like the neighborhood bar alone.
Bob_Funk Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 I disagree. It's pretty common and totally acceptable for a guy to go to a bar alone. I would think nothing of it, or I wonder what his story is (in a good way). I almost never see women out alone, but I suspect they are judged more negatively than men. I don't go to clubs or date people who do, but going to a club alone seems much odder than going somewhere like the neighborhood bar alone. I'm talking about bars where young single people congregate on weekend nights (usually with friends), not neighborhood bars.
thatone Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Sure I meet men, they approach me frequently... I never go to find someone, but that doesn't mean I am too busy to be bothered. *shrug Haha most men find it pretty admirable that a woman such as myself has no problem rolling solo. indeed we do. confidence is attractive in women just as it is in men. so my personal rule of thumb as far as bars go is...the limit is two. if there are two women together at a bar, no apparent rings on their left hands, i'll approach them. one even better. but a gaggle of them all huddled up all absorbed in their cell phones, not a chance. If you're female, it's fine. Even welcome, since it means one less hurdle for the guys to overcome. For a guy, it's considered creepy. If you're going to go out alone, clubs are probably the lesser of two evils. They're so dark and crowded, no one will even notice. don't know where you got that from but i go to my neighborhood bar alone all the time. if i were looking to meet women i would actually consider it kinda rude to drag someone else along and then ditch them or cold shoulder them while i talk to some random girl.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted July 17, 2012 Author Posted July 17, 2012 I need to get the nerve up to go out alone. I should try it at least once this summer. I'm not sure how women alone at bars are perceived though. Imo it depends what vibe she is giving off. If she is just pounding back drinks I'm going to avoid her. If she is working and not looking up or has headphones on I won't bother her. If she is smiling and seems genuinely friendly, and is my type I'll look for an opportunity to approach her. Heck some times it's just nice to talk to a random person. I have noticed that I seem to intimidate( or something) women that aren't interested in me.
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