whathurtsthemost Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Hey everyone, I need help, I was married very young and am quite inexperienced at dating - plus once I fall for someone I get real clingy, a fact I´m changing slowly but I know this is a big turn off... I think what Im struggling with, is stuff that you do to get the girl and stuff you do to keep the girl. I´m all mixed up. So I´ve been dating this girl for 7 weeks, and our relationship got boring - now, she brought up the "I love you" first, plus she envisioned marriage bla bla bla... so long as we get to know each other and there are no problems... well there has been some issues, nothing that worries me, but I let my guard down and reciprocated the feeling... it feels like since I disclosed my intentions, she is less attracted to me... I know, that´s just the way it goes... Anyway, our last 3 dates have been boring - and on a couple of occassions she has mentioned she feels really good and "feels in love" and on other occassions she has said she "doesnt feel the connection like before"... So, that puts my head in a spin and gets me all worried, so I talk to her, lowers attraction, you know the deal... We´ve had sex plenty and discussed moving in together in the future, she mentioned that... Then in another breath, she is saying she is 26 and didn´t plan on having anything serious... she is sending me mixed signals. Well, I feel that the power of this relationship lays more with her than with me - and I don´t like that... So I am trying to reclaim ground that I lost... Not seen her since Sunday day, and she has contacted me twice, I´ve not answered immediately and when I have I have given the impression that I am out having fun and busy and kept it light... No plans made for seeing her again... I want to rekindle what we once had, so I thought make myself scarce and work on my past hurt issues, get me head straight, and then on our next date take her to do something fun... But I don´t know if making myself less available will actually backfire? Essentially, I need to give her a wake up call - She fell for me once, but her emotional twoing and froing, confusion, call it what you want, is just too energy consuming for me.... So I want her to get the impression that I am losing interest in her, and IF we do see each other again, give her the time of her life and then set some boundaries... Any ideas on how I should do this? Thanks in advance...
veggirl Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Umm... 7 weeks Already exchanging I love yous Already discussing marriage ...no wonder you have gotten bored. You both moved WAY too fast...why did you do that? You guys jumped in and did the lovey thing before you even really knew one another. Now you are getting to know the real each other and it's just not what she expected or thought, I guess. That's what happens when you race into things. She is losing interest because the interest was never genuine to begin with. Your R is based on nothing but the initial butterflies people feel when they meet and are excited. I would just walk away and in the future slow down!! Things shouldn't be BORING after less than 2 months!
KathyM Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Don't start playing games. No good can come from that. I would suggest coming right out and telling her "I'm getting mixed signals from you, and I think we need to slow it down and go back to just enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other right now." Seven weeks is too early to start talking seriously about the relationship. You're still in the early stages of the relationship. Don't rush it.
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