Mcnulty Posted July 17, 2012 Posted July 17, 2012 Ongoing health issues, just got out of hosp. yeaterday, recovering from 4th operation this year with another one in 5 weeks. Mother comes over to look after me, tells me my ex, who she still keeps in touch with has a re occurence of a brain tumour. It's got me so upset. I love her still, have forgiven her bretrayal 9 months ago and just wanted her to be okay. had NC at all. My mother also tells me that my ex has just found out about my illness, but wouldn't tell my mum how she found out and then told my mum to not tell me about her tumour coming back!! WTF!!!! My head in bits, i'm suffering physically and mentally, still trying to get over her and my mum goes and does this to me the day after my op!!! What is it with people??? I don't understand. Why did someone close to me tell her? (only my closest friends and family know), when they know i'm still gutted anout the break up...also why on earth did my mum tell me all of this?? I backed off for 4 months from my family when we broke up, for fear of them telling me things about her and now I'm close to mum again, she goes and does this. Sorry, i guess this is just a questioning rant...feel so tired and low at the mo....am in a tailspin.
broken-and-lost Posted July 18, 2012 Posted July 18, 2012 sorry you sounds like your having to deal with 3 things here at the same time you should try and focus if possible on your health first. She probably doesn't want you worrying about her when you sick yourself
Author Mcnulty Posted July 18, 2012 Author Posted July 18, 2012 Thanks for the reply Broken. I still love her and have been trying to get over her whilst dealing with awful health issues, I can't switch off from her. I thought her and her guy had split as i had seen him with another woman AND he's on a dating website, what would you do, keep out of it, tell her? I care what happens to her and was there for her 2 years ago when she had the first tumour..just breaks my heart to think she's going through all of this again with a possible cheater for a partner.
broken-and-lost Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 To be honest m8, I wouldn't get involved when it comes to this other guy directly anyway as it will make you look bad not him if you could set up and e-mail account not linked to yourself and send her a link with his dating profile but do not make out it's come from you otherwise just makes you look like the jealous ex boyfriend and he will worm his way out of it if he is cheating on her that is, bare in mind tho she may have met him on a dating site i don't know your situation in relation to that but anyway if you do tell her has to be in a way that does not link you in anyway to her.
Author Mcnulty Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 She met him through me, he was my friend. I'm gonna keep out of it mate, she's got enough on her plate, just can't believe she said that she knew about my illness and that she bears me no ill and a speedy recovery, like i did the wrong...she left me for him...just hurts to see her in a possible minefall.
broken-and-lost Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) i know it hurts m8 but she choose to walk away and do the dirty on you you do not have to save her from anyone and don't take to heart the fact she thinks she hasn't done anything wrong and it was you. It's like they say the victors write the history, happenS in war all the time, what i mean is she will justify the fact she left you for someone else and push the blame onto you it's how people justify treating others so ****ty sometimes. You have to concentrate on sorting your health out that has to be top of the list, her wishing you well just take it as that nothing more it's going to hurt i know mine left me for someone else made out she hadn't right in the middle of me dealing with an illness, that make it twice as hard then. Try to focus on one thing at a time and once your health is back on track tackle the girl issue. If you need to talk or vent your welcome to PM me if you can. Edited July 20, 2012 by broken-and-lost FOR 1
Author Mcnulty Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 Thanks for the kind words Broken...a Welshman, not far from me! I am trying to focus on my health, I've got a long road ahead of me and I must plough it alone I feel. I care and have empathy, i can't help it. I want to punch him..i wont, I saw him with another girl not so long ago and he smirked at me...scumbag. I get scared of the future, the uncertaintys in my life..health, relationships and it's wearing me down. I feel like a freak and no one knows really, i can't talk about it candidly, my illness...it makes me feel ashamed, though it shouldn't. She knew, she hasn't offered any empathy or support...end of. I have to move on from her and I will try.
broken-and-lost Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 (edited) We all have the same fears and worries, your not alone in this. I myself thought i was going to marry this girl have kids family everything she promised me so much yet soon as i was sick she was gone within a year blaming me for everything under the sun when the real fact was she, had met someone else I found out yesterday that she was living with this guy in the flat we use to have and 4 weeks ago she was telling me she would consider meeting for a coffee it hurt like hell but it's made me realise i need to try and move on no matter how painful and how scared i am, i'm 39 this year and now i have to start fresh and work on building a life i always wanted a family that probably wont happen now. So i do understand m8 it's scary and like you i had the scum bag for moving in on my girlfriend when she was at a low but she choose to go no matter what the circumstances i have to accept that and you will have to at some point. i tried to hide my illness as i was afraid people would judge me, was the worse thing i ever did as it made things worse had depression which is what destroyed my relationship. Just keep talking to people here or who ever will listen it helps m8 Edited July 24, 2012 by broken-and-lost
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